"A Mare Egg, Her Wrist, "Miss Two 'U'"
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Sunday, December 22, 2024
Saturday, December 21, 2024
Friday, December 20, 2024
Thursday, December 19, 2024
Tuesday, December 17, 2024
Monday, December 16, 2024
Sunday, December 15, 2024
Wednesday, December 11, 2024
Tuesday, December 10, 2024
Collaboration Lab: Gershwin & Poe's "But Not Form E"
Uly Poe is currently hand-in-glove
with Ira Gershwin, busy reimagining
the latter's lyric "But Not For Me"
in order to accommodate it to Uly's
new musical set on the grounds of
an English public school and dealing
with the improprieties of a class of
young miscreants, the notorious
Form E.
Form A...? This throng I love.
But not Form E.
Form B...? Two cuts above.
But not Form E.
C formers...? Distingue,
though, sadly, not today:
Form E gets in their way.
Catastrophe!
E formers take the piss;
they pass the buck.
Hi ho! Alas! And also...WTF!
The other forms at school
are fire and dope and cool --
all good eggs as a rule.
But not Form E.
Monday, December 9, 2024
Sunday, December 8, 2024
Saturday, December 7, 2024
Broken: Pace Fats Waller
-elf a boutonniere Lulu's back in-elf a boutonniere Lulu's back in-elf a boutonniere Lulu's back in-elf a boutonniere Lulu's back in-elf a boutonniere Lulu's back in-elf a boutonniere Lulu's back in-elf a boutonniere Lulu's back in-elf a boutonniere Lulu's back in-elf a boutonniere Lulu's back...
Friday, December 6, 2024
Thursday, December 5, 2024
First Week Of Advent Musical Liturgy, Day 6, Friday: Holly...
As you light the week's single candle
which stands in the middle of your wreath
of ivy, why not join in a chorus or two of
"The Holly & The I.V."
Wednesday, December 4, 2024
Bio In Brief: An Apologia
Uly Poe pens dogg'rel verse.
"'Tis fun," hums Uly, "I disburse."
The gamut runs from bad to worse.
The matter treated...? Plu-diverse --
most, postcards from his universe,
replies to grudges he must nurse.
My summary...? Let me be terse:
a blessing, largely. (Not a curse.)
"'Tis fun," hums Uly, "I disburse."
The gamut runs from bad to worse.
The matter treated...? Plu-diverse --
most, postcards from his universe,
replies to grudges he must nurse.
My summary...? Let me be terse:
a blessing, largely. (Not a curse.)
'Fre(e/y)'-For-All
Says Joffrey to Geoffrey
astride his pale palfrey.
"Life care-free I've never not sought."
Says Geoffrey to Joffrey,
"To get out of jail free,
bent referees have to be bought."
Says Joffrey to Geoffrey
from high in the belfry,
"For doodie-free life I have fought."
Says Geoffrey to Joffrey,
"If you'd be some fancy-free
conferee, act as you ought."
astride his pale palfrey.
"Life care-free I've never not sought."
Says Geoffrey to Joffrey,
"To get out of jail free,
bent referees have to be bought."
Says Joffrey to Geoffrey
from high in the belfry,
"For doodie-free life I have fought."
Says Geoffrey to Joffrey,
"If you'd be some fancy-free
conferee, act as you ought."
Tuesday, December 3, 2024
First Week Of Advent Musical Liturgy, Day 4, Wednesday: Okra's...
Today's musical liturgy features a
favorite seasonal hymn of liturgists
and vegetarians alike:
"Okra's Mystery."
Monday, December 2, 2024
First Week Of Advent Musical Liturgy, Day 3, Tuesday: Sandy...
Today finds some Poe devotees caroling
yet another seasonal favorite:
"Sandy Closets Come Into Town."
Sunday, December 1, 2024
First Week Of Advent Musical Liturgy, Day 2, Monday: Ears...
During the week Poe's followers will also
be heard singing this popular tune based
on both well-known Old Testament lore
as well as certain prominent facial parts:
"Ears, Gums, Antique Laws"
Saturday, November 30, 2024
MAGAlossary
MAGAmerica: A nation only recently cobbled together from several geographical areas formerly associated with the United States. This new socio-political entity consists of rural counties located mostly in southern and western portions of the US and dominated by followers of prophet / deity Orange Jesus (aka "MAGAbby Haze" and "Mister MAGoo") who pledge allegiance to that individual and his mendacious set of alternative facts.
MAGAlomaniac: A designation characterizing MAGAmerica's prophet / deity and, by extension, any of O.J.'s red-hatted disciples. Other terms used to refer to MAGAlomaniacs include 'MAGAts' and 'basket(cases) of deplorables.'
MAGAtar: A multi-string'd musical instrument modelled on the one played by Orange Jesus on several of his MAGArammy-winning performances. (O.J. insists that "people are saying" he knows more about music than...well, anyone. Sources for these rumors remain unverified.)
37 MAGAnum: The firearm of choice for MAGAmericans who "pack heat." The weapon is used to intimidate former fellow countrymen who disagree with alternate facts adhered to by MAGAmericans -- and anyone else who isn't white, male and christian.
MAGAshot: A now-famous portrait of Orange Jesus taken on the occasion of his being booked prior to one of his numerous criminal trials. The image is thought to possess healing properties analogous to those of other religious icons and is therefore held in awe by his followers. Miracles reported in conjunction with prayers accompanied by dollar donations made to the Orange-hued image have not yet been verified.
MAGADonald's: A source of foodstuffs empty of nutritional value but preferred by MAGA prophet / deity Orange Jesus and followers. Referred to by them as "MAGA from Heaven," MAGA D's most popular product offering is known as "The Bigly MAG" and comes with an order of fried starchy root vegetables and a sugary beverage. Other favorite comfort foods consumed by MAGAts include a high-calorie pasta dish, the so-called "MAGAroni & Jesus."
MAGA-Lago: A sacred pilgrimage destination frequented by devotees eager to pledge unquestioning loyalty to the MAGA prophet / deity by kissing various relics on display there.
MAGAdalene: Aka Lady MAGAGA, an avatar of the bride of the MAGAt prophet / deity. Proof of lore characterizing her as notorious prostitute has never been definitively offered.
MAGApie: The Latin 'pica,' from which the magpie bird gets its name, refers to a disorder, sufferers of which are compelled to eat non-food items. In addition, the magpie's ability to chatter for hours in imitation of human speech, its proclivity to collect various shiny objects, its notorious neophobia and its wide reputation as a pest have prompted the often-blue-plumaged bird to be renamed 'MAGApie' and designated as the national bird of MAGAmerica.
iMAGArant:
MAGAetz:
MAGArie Taylor Greene:
MAGA cum Loud:
iMAGAnation:
MAGAma:
MAGAlopolis:
"Holy MAGArel!":
MAGAnolia:
MAGAnificent:
MAGAnificat:
MAGAnot Line:
MAGAnatism:
MAGAwatt:
MAGAffin:
MAGAwitch:
The Three MAGAi:
First Week Of Advent Musical Liturgy, Day 1, Sunday: The Lid'll...
'Tis a season for holiday chants, hymns and
spiritual songs. All this week, Poe's disciples
will be singing and meditating on one of the
master's favorites:
"The Lid'll Draw Merboy"
Monday, November 25, 2024
Three Runcibl'd Spoonerisms: Dome, Suicide, Wandering
An Arabic shrine giving annual visitors shivvers /
The Dome of the Rock //
A list of the wayfaring treks of the NBA's Rivers /
The Roam of the Doc
Agreement twixt two when that pair of their lives has grown tired /
Suicide Pact //
A Teddy Bear whispers stage left, "Our poor Eeyore's been fired." /
Pooh (aside): "Sack'd!"
A mythical Hebrew afoot since Good Friday's "distraction" /
The Wandering Jew //
A prostitute's customer's state halfway through his transaction /
The John, during woo
Saturday, November 23, 2024
Size Still Doesn't Matter
Abner's Li'l while Tim is Tiny.
Willy Winkie...? Wee.
Willy Winkie...? Wee.
Lulu's Little. Martin's Short.
What's that to do with me...?
Bo Peep's Little. So's Miss Sunshine
Minnie Mouse...? You guess'd it.
Large or small, 'twould seem it all
depends how folks express'd it.
Friday, November 22, 2024
Size Doesn't Matter
The first, "Biggie" Smalls, to arrive on the scene...?
Just a character shown on a movie-house screen.
The next, Biggy Smallz, is a rapper, a teen
who is kill'd when a turf war he's trapp'd in between.
The last, Biggie Smalls...? He's a rapper as well,
christen'd Christopher Wallace -- or so we hear tell.
Just a character shown on a movie-house screen.
The next, Biggy Smallz, is a rapper, a teen
who is kill'd when a turf war he's trapp'd in between.
The last, Biggie Smalls...? He's a rapper as well,
christen'd Christopher Wallace -- or so we hear tell.
Spelt with 'i-e's or 'y's, punctuated or not,
we've a triad of points orthographical got.
Thursday, November 21, 2024
Tuesday, November 19, 2024
The Cabinet Of Dr. Calimari-Lago: AG (Almost) Matt Gaetz
With sundry twisted Epstein
mates
o'er ice-thin ethics rules Matt
skates.
Takes pre-pubescent girls on
"dates"...?
What's next upon Matt's sexist
plates...?
Tweens...? Adolescents...? neo-
nates...? *
"The center cannot hold," holds
Yeats,
which nearly proved our common
fates:
AG of these United
States...?
No wa-a-ay "Things fall apart" Matt
Gaetz,
that wanker MAGA cele-
brates
who hates the same stuff MAGA
hates.
*No mention's made of 'mastur-
bates.'
Apologia Pro Nuga Sua
I'm neither Shelley nor the Bard.
Compare me not to Frost or Homer.
Liken these* to Emily's...?
Who claims so frames a gross misnomer.
I'm not Blake or Plath or Sappho,
Emerson or Donne or Keats.
A neo-Blake...? Don't make me laugh! (Oh...
note: nor ape I Maya's feats.)
My lingua...? Never elevated,
nor by critics highly rated.
Once it's all been said 'n' done,
these doggerels are just for fun.
(Once it's all been done 'n' said,
they're funny heard, tho' better read.)
*Fyi: this footnote will shortly list
the titles of all eleven of Uly's books
of nonsense verse.
Oh, Hell: I Must Be Going: An Alphabet Of Departure
In light of recent political events, some Americans have been overheard discussing emigration -- their own -- several reaching decisions and moving those determinations to the top of their respective 'must do' lists. Uly Poe is among them.
"For the snark IS a boojum you see."
-- after Lewis Carroll
Anticipate the starting gun...?
As B*****'s back, it must be done.
I'll Break (or tie) the record for
the fastest mile (3:44*).
I'll Cut 'n' run. (Please don't give Chase;
just trust: I must depart this place.)
I'll Dash a hundred yards -- nay: more.
Don't track me Down: I'm out the Door.
I'll Exit East (northeast, at least).
I'll deadhead -- tho' not (yet) deceased.
You'll Eat my dust. (Apologies:
here's hoping you'll avoid a sneeze.)
I'll Fly the coop. I'll Flee the scene.
Nor will I tell Folk where I've been.
I'll Get me Gone. I'll Go alone.
I'll disengage from web 'n' phone.
(And, passing 'Go,' I'll Grab that dough:
two hundred smackeroos -- Hi, Ho!)
I'll Hit the bricks. I'll Hie me Hence.
(None's done the like -- before or since.)
I'll Imitate ol' Aesop's hare
and Jog (tho' slow) aboard shank's mare.
I'll Kiss all Kith 'n' Kin "So Long!
I'm Leaving." (Please don't get me wrong:
I'll Light out for the territories,
Huckleberry-Like,
nor never Lag. I'll Leg it...
...that or Learn to ride a bike.
I'm Making haste while shines the sun.
Arrives the rain...? Too late to run.)
I'm Making tracks. I'm Moving on.
Mayhap you'll Miss Me when I'm gone.
I'll Not delay; I'll Navigate
each Ocean, creek 'n' crooked strait.
"I'm Outta here!" you'll hear me shout.
I'm Off 'n' running, have no doubt.
(To put no finer point: I'm Out.)
I'll beat a Path, a Powder take.
I'm Put to flight, for heaven's sake.
I'll Quit, so Quick, these premises.
I'll Run away; the day I'll Seize.
I'll Trek where no one's Trek'd before.
I'll Tread upon a loaf.** What's more,
I'll Up 'n' leave like Barbra S,*
Unable to abide such mess.
Nor shall I Vamp 'til ready. No,
I'm ready now; I'm set to go.
I'll Wend my Way, perhaps head West.
Some spot mark'd X may prove the best.
I'll hug You; then my cap I'll doff:
...three...two...one...Zero: Blasting off!
*The record for the fastest mile is precisely 3:43.13, set on July 7, 1999 by Hicham El Guarrouj from Morocco.
**Han Andersen's Inge appears in one of his more bizarre tales.
***One of many celebrities pledging to move abroad if Drumpf regains power. Other mss show "E. deG, Unable to remain, you see" here. Future recitations doubtless will insert other names as the list of emigrees continues to swell.
Monday, November 18, 2024
The Cabinet Of Dr. Calimari-Lago: Chief Of Staff Susie Wiles
Her coif -- cinereal -- she
styles
in pearly pompadours 'n'
piles.
Behind smug condescending
smiles
she camouflages fascist
wiles.
Assuming grins of croco-
diles
while highing five to POTUS
"Heil!"s,
she foments Orange Jesus'
guiles.
Where are those Oval Office
files...?
Ask Chief of Staff Ms. Susie
Wiles --
tho' prep for absolute de-
ni'ls.
(With staffers signing names like
'Wiles,'
we fast approach the Silly
Isles.)
Wednesday, November 13, 2024
The Cabinet Of Dr. Calimari-Lago: Stephen Miller
Of
racially-mixed communities no
pillar.
Of
migrant toddler's holding pens...? Ful-
filler.
Of
Latin blood 'n' treasure...? Super-
spiller.
Hums
not the "An die Freude" ode by
Schiller.
Of the
soil of racial hatred Miller's
tiller.
Of the
Constitution he's a hired
killer:
one
nasty white supremacy dis-
tiller...
(now
Chief of Staff for Policy) Herr
Miller!
(For-
give me if my diatribe grow
shriller:
no
Drumpf corrupt appointment makes me
iller.)
Tuesday, November 12, 2024
Be We That We...?
Be we that we of whom it's said,
"This isn't who we are"...?
Be we that we enraged
that women's rights have gone too far...?
Be we that we who neighbors hear
call climate change a hoax...?
Be we that we who're silent re:
their neighbors' racist jokes...?
Be we that we who turn away
the planet's tired 'n' poor...?
Be we that we who spoke the truth
but don't do any more...?
Be we that we of whom "This isn't
who we are" be said...?
We be that we. (Brief colloquy:
we'd all be better dead.)
Sunday, November 10, 2024
A Visit From Saint Nick Revisited, Stanzas I and II: "The Eve" and "The Stockings"
I
'Twas the
eve before
eve before
Xmas Eve.
'Round my a-
'Round my a-
bode, feelings --
spite, greed, im-
patience -- ran
high...and it
show'd.
II
Stockings --
dozens -- were
flung 'round the
hearth without
care. (I'd hoped
Santa would
leave me wa-a-ay
more than my
share.)
Tuesday, November 5, 2024
Grilled "Che"s: Another Twelve Iconic Cuban Revolutionaries
Ur-"Che"
Iconic Cuban Revolutionary
Ernesto "Che" Guevara
Twelve "Che"quivalents
Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Hank Williams Tearjerker
Your "Che"tin' Heart
Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Way West
The"Che"solm Trail
Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Toddlin' Town
"Che"cago
Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Chewing Gum
"Che"cklits
Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Non-Renewable Energy Sources
Shell Oil, Shale Oil and "Che"le Oil (All "Che"vron Products)
Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Opening Third Of Railroad Line
The At"Che"son, Topeka and the Santa Fe
Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Velvet Fog Holiday Song Opening Lyric
"Che"stnuts Roasting On An Open Fire...
Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Foil-Wrapped Chocolates
Hers"Che"s Kisses
Iconic Vuban Revolutionary Beethoven Buddy
Carl "C(z)he"rny
Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Zola Denunciation
'"Che"ccuse...!'
Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Monopoly Game Cards To Acquire
"Che"nce and Community "Che"st
Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Monopoly Game Card To Avoid
Go To "Che'ail; Go Directly To "Che"ail (Do Not Pass Go,
Do Not Collect 200 Pesos)
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Christmas Day: A Mare Egg...
"A Mare Egg, Her Wrist, "Miss Two 'U'"
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