"Poisson of Interest" Post from the Past #1

      Preface 

     As regular visitors to PlaysWell are aware, the original "Berracuda" couplet appearing in the "Poissons of Interest" series ran as follows:

     "Ask'd to i.d. baseball's Buddha,

     Yanks yell, "Yogi Berracuda!"

     It proved but the work of a moment for friend-of-the blog GR, long an authority on America's national pastime, to conclude that surely it must be famed Cincinnati Reds catcher Johnny Bench who would and should be the more accurate choice as baseball's Buddha, even if understandably non-impartial Yankee fans were the respondents polled. 

     GR's comment, submitted in a nonsense versification featuring a delightful pun on 'Bench' and references to Bench's Reds club and his position as catcher, though somewhat metrically irregular -- a trait issuing, no doubt, from his post-modern approach to poetry -- appeared to encapsulate his conclusion. 

     Red-legged scofflaw 

     Caught red-handed. 

     Johnny Bench Warrant* 

     Soon to be remanded.

     * In a later communication with the editors, GR offered 'Benchmark' as an improving substitution for 'Bench Warrant.' The editors are currently awaiting responses from regular readers of the blog before declaring the substitution official.

     In the meantime, Ulysses Poe, author of the "Poissons of Interest" series, has created an entirely new take on 'Berracuda,' for which see below:  

     Ask'd to i.d. line-caught food, a

     Yank* yells, "Yogi Berracuda!"

     * A later communication from Poe wonders whether 'Basque,' as substituted for 'Yank,' in addition to having the merit of partially rhyming with the 'Ask'd' of the opening line, significantly widens the universe of the couplet -- as well as drawing attention to the noted expertise of Basque fishermen.

"Berracuda"
charcoal pencil on copy paper,
digitally modified,
by the author 

Threespoons

Trumpet great (without disclaimer)

phones a gospel Hall of Famer:

Miles Davis dials Mavis.*

     Moral:

Mavis. Miles. One sulks.** One smiles.

     * Mavis Staples boasts membership

in both the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame 

and the Blues Hall of Fame.

     ** Davis was chronically choleric.

Mormons celebrate their dead:

Pioneer Days.*

Princess hit upside the head:

Diane ear pays.

     * On July 24^th Utah celebrates

the founding of Salt Lake City.

 

Poems shared on bathroom tissues: 

Verse on TP.

POTUS air'd some mental issues:

“Person…TV.”

"Daffy Donald" 
colored pencil on illustration board,
digitally modified,
by Ulysses Poe

The 2020 Pepi Katona Anagramadness Pageant & Triennial "Talk Like a Tracy" Competition

     We here at PWWL have tested positive for the Katona virus 

and we don't care who knows it. As Pepi might say, "Draw your 

own conclusions!" (As Pirovitch might comment,"Who did this 

dreadful thing...?") 

Pepi Katona                 Matuschek and Co's former errand boy.

Po' Kate: "I nap!"         Li'l Orphan Katherine does little but sleep these days.

A peak pinot.               A '12 or '14, probably. 

Oink, eat pap!             Plunk your magic... Slurp your lovely swill, Piggy.

Oink ate Pap.              Hog gobbl'd up Daddy.

Kapitän Poe                Commander of the Starship Ulalume.

Nappie OK...? Ta.        My diaper in place...? Thanks.

EPA: not Paki!             One agent is sure she was dink.

I kept a p'ano.            I kept a gu'tar as well, didn't I.

Kent, IA: pop. A.         A certain Mr. A. is the sole inhabitant of Kent, Iowa.

A pinko pate.              Marxist intellectual.

A pinko pâté.              Marxist hors d’oeurvre.

Pa Pio taken.              Italian stigmatist kidnapped. 

Apia knot PE               Samoan “pretzel” calisthenics.

Pepin to a Ka              Letter from Frankish king to a subject's soul. 

Opa! Pink tea!            This stuff's even better than ouzo...well, almost.       

Take no pipa!             You're allow'd a single liuqin, however.       

Aka one Tipp.             The scoundrel uses several aliases.

An okapi, Pet.            It's a kind of antelope, my dear.

Ape a inkpot!             You're already a ebon incorrigible, aren't ya. 

Opiate knap.              Remedy-in-a-rucksack, eh...?

A knot; a pipe.           A gnarl; a corncob.   

"P" Ape ain't ok.        Tho' "O" Ape and "Q" Ape seem perfectly fine. 

A poet; a pink.          Second line of the poem "A bard; a carnation."

Tap on a kepi.            Hi, there, legionnaire! 

A pea pint...? Ok!       I've never tried legume-hopp'd beer before.

Note I Kappa...?         Is the Japanese water demon here...?

Patina poke.              Rust caddy.

No pike tapa.             Lack of fish scale textile.

Appoint Åke.              Surely the best Swede for the job.

Pa’O pink tea.             An acquired taste, even in Mandalay.

A. Pope, I. Kant.         Wise guys.

Shenanagram: Don't Tell Don!

PERSON...MAN...WOMAN...CAMERA...TV

NO "WARP" CAN MEAN SMART MOVE. 

"Remember These
5 Clouds &
Repeat 'Em Back
to Me in 15 or
20 Minutes"
colored pencils
on copy paper,
digitally modified,
by Ulysses Poe

Pivot II: Another Vanishingly Improbable Pronouncement from Tom Thrumbpf, Citizen

Person And So On: a Moronic Mnemonic

Admitted: as maladies worsen,

one forgets ev’ry thing, place 'n' person.

We're inform'd stable geniuses can

reap their recall. I’m not such a man.

Not one soldier (I’d guess) in a tuman*

wields such memory -- much less one woman.

Half a mo! My old ex-, name of Tamara,

took a cognitive test once, in camera.

It reveal’d she’d contracted VD!

(You'll not view this on cable TV.)

     * 10,000-person Mongol military unit

"My old ex-,
name of Tamara"
pencil on copy paper,
digitally modified, 
by Ulysses Poe

Asstounding!

     Butt, Montana; The Yucatan's Cheeksen Itza;Crackow, Popoland; 

Biggerta, Cobumbia (not to mention the Pampass of Arsengentina and 

the Outback of Asstralia) are also nominees to asstounding spothood. 

"World's Most Asstounding Spots: Malibooty Breach, Callipygia;
Bethleham, Bunsylfannya; Dallass, Texass & Keister Island"
chemical marker on copy paper, digitally modified,
by Ulysses Poe

Show A Little!

Who pens such patent prattle airs a droll imagination.

Who covets Kim in “Picnic” bares a soulful Madge-ination.

Who chuckles “What, me worry...?” vaunts a gleeful Mad-ination.

Who votes for Drumpf in spite of Drumpf flaunts lethal MAGA-nation.

              Who howls at Hawkeye’s hijinks shows his silly M.A.S.H.-ination.

Who dines on sushi roll’d in seaweed poses maki-nation.

Who welcomes wizards bearing myrrh disports Three-Magi-nation.

Who pre-dawn prayer prefers exhorts a vig'lant Matin'-ation.

              Aristotelia chilensis knows a maqui-nation.

Who ne'er sails west without stout charts sows careful map-ination.

Who Sammy Davis Jr stalks displays Will Mastination.

Who’s nuts for Dallas basketball sprays avid Mav-ination.

             Who screens films 53 feet tall supplies IMAX-ination. 

Who's heard retelling tales -- in Welsh, yet! -- plies the Mabinogion. 

Who dips into “The Prince” wails Machiavellian machination.

D'you not agree: whoe’er he be, he nails 'imagination'…?

"I Must Dress / Mister Suds"
A shenanagram
in colored pencils on illustration board
by Ulysses Poe

Runcibl'd Spooner: Strictly Ballroom

     Aristotle famously observes: "Words are equivocal." 

Ps-Aristotle, reading the runciblosity below, agrees: 

“'Keen Jelly'...? Just a dram one takes 

to lubricate wild Irish wakes."

 

Gene Kelly:

God o' Dance, he sings in the rain.

Keen Jelly:

Gotta dance...? It stings...? Use for pain.

     Moral:

Some feet don't have it;

others have.

All feet, though, now and then,

need salve.

"Feet Possibly Requiring Salve II"
(detail)
colored pencil on illustration board,
digitally modified,
by Ulysses Poe

The Song of an Asylum Seeker

     Nota bene: asylum seekers sing more than one song, e.g.,

"I dreamt I dwelt in marble halls, but woke up in detention.

My new plan is to fly these walls into the Fourth Dimension."

 

I’ll never dwell in Cozumel,
in Lagos or Lahore.
I’ll ne'er call ‘home’ Mumbai or Rome,
nor Seoul or Singapore.
     I’ll rent no flat in Gujarat,
in Lima or Taiwan.
I’ll say, “No way!” to San Jose,
to Delhi and Milan.
     No pied-a-terre in Buenos Air-
es, Bangor or Shanghai.
Shall I break groun' in London town
or Istanbul…? Not I!
     I’ll share no pad in Hyd’rabad.
or Guatemala City.
Sans domicile -- ancestral pile --
I'm homeless...more’s the pity.

"Genuine / Ingenue"
A shenanagram based on Little Buttercup from Gilbert & Sullivan's
"H.M.S. Pinafore," in colored pencils on illustration board,
digitally modified, by Ulysses Poe

Twospoons

Round heels

Pre-Code slang applied to sluts.

Hound reels

Class of films highlighting mutts.

     Moral:

Cavé die kinder canésque les cunts!*

(“Work not with hookers or beasties 

or runts!”  -- ps-W.C. Fields)

     * In Latin with some German and 

a soupçon of French.

"Rhonda Roundheels"
colored pencil on
copy paper
by Ulysses Poe

   

Buster Keaton

A comic (deadpan). Talking…? None!

Custer Beaten

Anomic dead man walking, done!

    

     Moral:

While shy man shoots “The General,”

wild Cheyenne shoots the general.