Obama Reboot [Original], Part I (An Archival Afterparty)

A former POTUS is reinventing himself. 

Here are some options he's considering.

Baracky Balboa

Baracodile Dundee

Johann Sebastian Barack

Knute Barachne

Calypso Caprice (Canto Fourteen in Uly Poe's "Death of Art" Series)

When, one long-ago Fall, inside Carnegie Hall,

Perry Hartch introduced this new piece;
'twas for voices and strings -- plus preposterous things.

Perry call'd it "Calypso Caprice."

First came notes in a wail (43 to the scale)

play'd con brio assai by two flutes.

At the seventeenth bar, Hartch off-loaded a jar

of cream'd corn over ten tenor lutes.

Then the ladies who play'd 'em cried (quoting verbatim):

"You've not heard the last of us yet," 

whence each took her marimba (or shook her kalimba),

withal to make good on that threat. 

Soon there follow'd a rest (hours long, critics guess'd:

no one knows, for the audience left.)

Thus did Perry's "Caprice" undergo its decease...

Thus the musical world's left bereft.

Morpho

GOP Nationalist Turkey attempts 

to pass self off as American Eagle:

The Book of B, O + ABC: an Illustrated Verse Alphabet

     A 

B, O + A begets 

'boa.' 

     (This one's 

nosh...? Our new nanny, Ma-

ria José Figue-

roa.)

     B

B, O + B begins 

'bobby.' 

     (This one 

follows the footy in 

Falkirk while answ'ring to 

'Robbie.')

                           

     C 

B, O + C begins 

'bocce.' 

     (Mostly 

mark'd in Milan -- tho' on 

Monday's in March in Ka-

rachi.)  

                                      

 

     D 

B, O + D begins 

'bodice.' 

     (This one's 

Heidi von Freund's. She in-

tends friends to fondle her...

...gratis.)

     E 

B, O + E begins 

'Boeing.' 

     (Discon-

tent with their war profi-

teering proves goodly...and 

growing.)

                   

     F 

B, O + F begins 

'boffin.' 

     (Truth to 

tell, I've been made out a 

maven -- though lately less 

often.)

     G 

B, O + G begins 

'Bogie.' 

     (Spied nigh 

better half Betty Ba-

call and her ham-'n'-Swiss 

hoagie.)

     H 

B, O + H begins 

'boho.' 

     (This one's 

loathe to distinguish his 

goat cheese galette from his 

Ho Ho.)

     I 

B, O + I begins 

'Boise.' 

     (Seems when 

ev'ry tree falls in the 

forest, things really get 

noisy.*)

     *Cf: "If a tree falls in the forest

      and no one is there to hear it, 

      does it make a sound...?" as 

      this relates to ecologically 

      foolhardy forestry practices.

     J 

B, O + J begins 

'Bojan.' 

     (When he 

dunks on my Wizards, I 

deem 'im extremely an-

noyin.')

     K 

B, O + K begins 

'Boko.' 

     (Which will 

lead to 'Haram,' which will 

lead to el multitud 

loco.)

     L 

B, O + L begins 

'Bolger.' 

     (Ray's play'd 

scarecrows 'n' dowager 

aunts; Cary Grant's play'd a 

soldier.*)

     M 

B, O + M begins 

'bombshell.' 

     (Not the 

blonde brand. Who's hurt must have 

more than some salve or some 

balm gel.) 

     N 

B, O + N begins 

'bonkers.' 

     (Sadly, 

citizens section'd so 

squat in asylums in 

Yonkers.)

 

     (Bonus: 

B, O + N begins 

'bonny'...  

     (...much like 

prächtig in German and 

gözel in Azerbai-

jani.) 

     

O 

B, O + O leads to 

'Boojum.' 

     (These Aus-

tralian species in-

sist dudes canoodle 'n' 

smoodge* 'em.)

     *Australian slang meaning 

       to curry favor, to faun.

     P 

B, O + P begins 

'Bopper.' 

     (Though his 

belly bloom'd big, and he 

bopp'd, his career came a

cropper.) 

               

     Q 

B, O + Q begins 

'Boqs.' 

     (In Baum's 

book, Boq's beheld but a

bit; in Greg's* novel, Boq 

rocks!)

     *Gregory McGuire, author of Wicked.

     R 

B, O + R begins 

'Boris.'

     (Counter-

spies Boris counters ac-

count for 'brat' Badenov's 

tsoris.)

     *Russian honorific 'brat' 

translates as brother.

  

     

     S 

B, O + S begins 

'Boston.'

      (Beacon 

Hill be the 'hood where Frost's

toss'd -- and, for three years, gets 

lost in.*)

     *The poet lived there awhile after 

       the death of his wife, Elinor.

    

      T 

B, O + T begins 

'Bottom.'*

     (Who, post

schtuppin' Titania,

charges 'er, "Smoke if ya 

got 'em.")

     *Comic relief both above and in 

       Shakespeare's A Midsummer 

       Night's Dream. 

   U 

B, O + U begins 

'Boulder.'

     (When you're

five thousand feet above

sea level (br-r-r-r), sure it's   

colder.)

     

V 

B, O + V begins 

'bovid.'

     (When 'twas

anthrax afoot 'mongst the

herd, folk prefer'd to risk

COVID.) 

    

      W 

B, O + W...? 

'Bow Wow.'

     (Pictured

here...? One Shad Moss joining

Snoop Dog -- a Gangsta Rap

powwow.)

     

     

     X 

B, O + X begets 

'box lunch.' 

     (This one's

fi;;'d full of food fit for  

fräuleins -- 'tain't no frickin' 

jock's lunch.) 

     Y 

B, O + Y begets 

'Boycott.'

     (In a

film by that name,* the sole 

female lead weren't a part 

Loy** got.)

     *1947's Captain Boycott.

     **In '47, Myrna did land a part in 

        The Bachelor and the Bobby-Soxer.

        (Pictured below is largely unrelated 

        poisson of interest Myrna L'Oyster.)

    Z 

B, O + Z begets 

'Boz.' 

     (With his 

nom-de-plume 'Boz,' Dickens 

early earns pounding ap-

plause; 

     rhymed with 

French quelque chose, it could

bring this damn thing to a 

close.)