Longfellow's AnagraMania

Tell me not in mournful numbers... 
..."Mull 'n' burn fourteen mint moles..."

(Nobody tells Henry Wadsworth how to prepare his signature blacken'd moles.)

Inferno's AnagraMania

Midway on the journey of our life... 
...I found you, El Rey. "Join me!" "What for...?" 

(It sems Mr. Alighieri could use a little help finding his way through that  dusky wood. And who better than The King...?)

Canterbury's AnagraMania

When April with his showers sweet...
...howls, "Shrew! Wine, shrew!" I shit peat... 

(April is most particular about his tipple and I'm no help.)

Aeneid's AnagraMania

I sing of arms and the man...
...not his farm and gas mine... 

(We want a tale of heroes in war, not agribusiness and the energy sector.)

The Odds Have It...

...a monopoly, that is, on vowels. Don't tell me you haven't noticed that the 13 odd letters of the English alphabet listed in order include among their number all six vowels or that no vowels -- not a single one -- appear among the 13 even letters listed in order. 

Tiny Tim's AnagraMania

Marley was dead...
...are we mad...? Sadly... 

(We're Crotchets, dammit, and we couldn't care less.)

Whaling's AnagraMania

Call me Ishmael...
...I'm a Hell's Camel...

...Me...? I'm La Shellac... 

...A camel shell am I...

(Is this story about Ishmael the harpooner, Ishmael the motorcycle gang member, Ishmael the gentleman thief or Ishmael the hajjan...?)

Lenten Anagram Mania

Jesus wept. 
Caption appearing beneath illustration accompanying newspaper's Good Friday early edition op ed. 

Upset Jews. 
Caption appearing beneath illustration accompanying newspaper's Good Friday afternoon edition op ed. 

Just weeps. 
Caption appearing beneath illustration accompanying newspaper's Good Friday late edition op ed. 

Use wet PJs. 
Caption appearing beneath illustration accompanying newspaper's Easter Monday early edition advice column offering tips on cleaning up egg-coloring messes.

An Anagrammed Alternate Gatsby

In my younger and more vulnerable years... 
...a gerbil ruined very early neums...

(In this variation on a classic jazz-age novel, Scott Fitzgerald's opening words are completed with some by Ulysses Poe. Together they begin relating the story of a former mysterious American millionaire turned novice choir monk who composes liturgical texts, setting them to primitive written forms of chant only to have both words and notations set on fire by a jealous Mongolian hamster bent on harassing the cloister.)
 

Conspiracy! (Number One in a Series)

"Who'd read between the lines 
must rearrange the letters." 
                                         -- Uly Poe 

Make America Great Again...

...a meme, a trick, a nigger, a... 

"Draw your own conclusions." 

                                -- Pepe Catona

C. Dickens's "A Tale of Two Cities" Opening Line Followed by U. Poe's Alternative Anagrammatic Continuation

It was the best of times... 
...see: I'm soft, wet -- bat-shit!  

(Show me someone who thinks it was the best of times and I'll show you someone who isn't paying attention.)