Body Parts: A Constrained Alphabet

A’s for the arm some Italians will take*
when you give 'em a hand (Drumpf’s? An inch wide!) to shake.
B’s for the brow. It’s the forehead you furrow
when badgeless bandidos start burgling your burro.
C’s for the chin on which chumps are seen taking it.
Guilty as charged? Yep! ‘Tain’t no use opaqueing it.
     * Dagli una mano e lui prendera in braccio.

D’s for the derma – what dimwits call skin.
White or black, it’s, in fact, the original sin.
E’s for the elbow, a part none save fools
choose to stick in their ears. I know few sharper tools.
F’s for the finger – precisely, the third –
which one gives unto others – or so I have heard.

G is for genitals – snipped when you’re Jewish.
(Or, maybe, for gentiles: I’m, sadly, sans clueish.)
H? For the hip. It’s the place where best pals
seem so frequently joined. (Pals are “lezzies” when gals.)
I’s for intestines. To view 'em brings chills.
(Or, perhaps, for intestates who die lacking wills.)

J's for the jugular. That’s where they start
when their final objective’s to cut out your heart.
K’s for the kneecap – what repo men break
when your juice loan repayments you’re failing to make.
L’s for the lips. They’re the pair you’re to read
when you dad doubles down on what first he decreed.

M’s for the mammaries, known to become
overblown as your girlfriend’s becoming a mum.
N’s for the nails, parts of fingers and toes
to which polish adheres. (N is also for nose.)
O’s for the ovaries – right after ‘nails.’
They’re so called ‘cause they’re “’over re-‘marked on” my males.

P’s for the palms which are found on your hands.
(P is also for trees found in cyclone-prone lands.)
Q’s for the quadriceps – sections of thighs
which are over-developed in muscle-bound guys.
R’s for the rib, from which God fashioned Eve –
one more tale among many I’m loathe to believe.

S? For the shin. It’s the part you will bark
if your bare leg encounters my shin in the dark.
T’s for the tongue. White ones, shaped like a fork,
Coughed up twenty four dollars to purchase New York.
U: for umbilical cord? Nope! For uterus.
(Either or both, though, prove utile to tutor us.)

V’s for the veins. They’re cerulean blue –
and, if vericose, horribly hideous, too.
W’s wisdom teeth. Powder or paste
fails to save them. (It’s also for wrinkles and waist.)
X is for xiphoid – more process than part
and but rarely mistaken for kidney or heart.

Y’s for the yolk sac – in people, not eggs.
In a fetus, it’s larger than lobes, lungs or legs.
Z’s for the zonule of Zinn (Would I lie?),
but this Zinn isn’t Howard, it’s some other guy,
His name’s Johann Gottfried. He, Howard and I
here bid you – and each part of your body -- “goodbye!”