China-ese Food (Unpub)

          I.
     The waitstaff stands queued,
seeming ripe for a feud...
 
All the foodstuffs they serve are call’d 
'China-ese food.'
While some won ton soup's sipp’d, 

dim sum – some, dumb -- gets chew’d.
Much too much of it's wok'd. 
Next to none of it's stew’d. 
(‘Tis "mein joy"*...soyved mit' soy sauce
that’s artisan-brew’d.)

      * Attributed to Karl and, often, Groucho Marx]
 
          …(accrued...cued...allude)...
 
     note the first, leering lewdly,
his single eye glued... 
 
All the food here referr’d to's term’d
'China-ese food.'
But, if true, why’s the bird's nest soup
so misconstru’d…?
Is it, maybe, 'cuz over that bird's nest
one flew'd…?
Or, instead, because Jack's* 
one inscrutable dude…

      * Nicholson maybe, but more likely Soo.
 
          …(collude...do'd...constru’d)...
 
     …on the second (no prude),
who's seen raising his rood...
 
All such food -- rainbow-hued -- they've nam’d
'China-ese food' –
and how rarely be victu'ls
so var'ously hued!
Quite a lot be magenta'd;
no fewer be blued.
(Note how few of said hues 
seem the least bit subdued.
 
          …(delude...loo'd...denude)...
 
          II.
 
     …o'er the third (the most shrewd):
once his cow he's debut'd...
 
But which food might feed multitudes…?
China-ese food – 
and don't they who partake
g’won to make quite a brood…?
Here sit I dress’d in jodhpurs;
my bride’s donn’d a snood.
As for kids near the koi pond…? 
They're totally nude.
 
          …(elude...pseud-...ensued)...
 
     …has been heard, smelt and view’d
to have pitif'ly "moo"'d...
 
What's the "grub de millenium"…? 
China-ese food. 
It’s one scene de cuisine 
all have hotly pursued.
To enjoy four-whisk rest'rants,
my party's canoed.
(One's accessible 
via canal boats I've crew’d.)
 
          …(exclude...sued...extrude)...
 
     …she'll be rapidly "shoo!"'d
lest she "cop her a -tude"...
 
Sav'ries herein construed….? All call’d
'China-ese food': 
every dish is delicious – 
beaucoup ballyhoo'd. 
When we sang for our supper,
near nobody boo'd, 
though six shixsas (sic) murmur'd. 
(We rubes rank’d 'em 'rude.')
 
          …(preclude...spewed...protrude)...
 
          III.
 
     …i.e., mimic my mood,
while he, cummerbund trued...
 
Must the thrust of my etude stay 
China-ese food…?
To the key to its 'sprit 
am I secretly clued…? 
Yes, by Cantonese coolies
who're duly tattoo’d. 
(Note those pics on their pecs: 
aren't some skin artists crude…?)
 
          …(screw’d...shrew'd...skew’d)...
 
     …after tuning his oud
the dude play’d as he wooed...
 
What are you to conclude in re
China-ese food…?
Just that some of it's beef'd; more's pork'd;  
none of it's gnu'd;
that its misuse of goose
now's been loosely review’d.
The consensus…? My sense is: 
geese best be eschew’d.
 
          …(spewed...who'd...?...you'd...?)...
 
     …Himiltrude, al-Aboud:
this day both have since rued.