Club 'MED' (Unpub)

"ArMED…? Nossir! Dangerous…? You betcha!"
     Jean-luc Martinez, Louvre Director, describes
prized objet d'art Venus de Milo.
 
"Blow ME Down ‘n’ pick me up!"
     Kirk Douglas reprises Ned Land sea shanty
from Disney's "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea."
 
"CriME Dog's the name; baseball's the game!"
     Former Major League first baseman McGriff 
contemplates name ‘McGruff.’ 
 
"Don't know much about MEDieval thought;
don't know grammar near as good as I ought..."
     Mystery vocal stylist parodies Sam Cooke's
"What a Wonderful World This Would Be."
 
"Each droMEDary…? One! Each Bactrian…? Two!"
     Daniel Potts of The Silk Road Foundation 
opines on camel hump quantitization.
 
"FraMED! I was fraMED, I tell ya!"
     Dr. Sam Sheppard recalls his real-life saga
fictionalized in film "The Fugitive."
 
"GaME Day balls…? They're inflated to a gauge
pressure of between 12.5 and 13.5 psi."
     NFL's Dean Blandino summarizes league rule
during Ballghazi investigation.
 
"Howdy, hoMEDogs!"
     Sgt. Smithe-Magee mixes language registers
in opening remarks to audience at D.C. open mic.
 
"In MEDia res, baby: in MEDia res!"
     Roman lyric poet Horace describes where 

ideal epic poet ought to begin tale. 
 
"...Joe, ME Donkey want water; hold 'em Joe..."
     Belafonte quotes MacBeth quotes Manning 

using iconic calypso lyric.
 
"King ME, Davey!"
     Philistine Goliath importunes Hebrew David 

during Mideast checkers tourney.
 
"'LaME Duck'…? I'll give you 'laME Duck'!"
     Barack Obama confonts Mitch McConnell in 

Senate Coat Room.
 
"...MEDicinal purposes only, and I've felt poorly 

now for some fifty years."
     W. C. Fields paraphrases earlier comment 

on his much ballyhoo'd thirst.
 
"None naMED names!"
     Dalton Trumbo refers to his fellow Hollywood 

Ten colleagues.
 
"Oh, ME Darlin,' oh, me darlin'..."
     Huckleberry Hound sings -- incorrectly and 

off-key – a favorite ditty.
 
"...PomME De terre, creme fraiche, Gruyere 

cheese..."
     Jacques Pepin lists ingredients in recipe for
Pommes De Terre Macaire.  
 
"Question: when "Mr Ed" airs in France, is it 

call'd "M. ED"…?
     Walter R. Brooks, author of The Talking 

Horse, inquires about residuals.
 
"ReMEDial Chaos Theory" nominated for an 

Emmy…? How cool is that!
     Chris McKenna, having penned that episode 

of "Community," enthuses.
 
"SoME Day my prince will come."
     Adriana Caselotti recreates Snow White voice 

first heard in famed Disney animated film.
 
"Try some MEDoc, Doc!" 
     Sarge riffs on Flanders and Swann's "Have 

Some Madeira, M'dear." 
 
"UnMEDicated...but I mean, of course, unmitigated..

gall."
     (Explanatory comment in preparation) 
 
"Vulcans observe first contact protocols without 

violating the Federation's PriME Directive."
      Gene Roddenberry discusses the superiority of 

certain alien races to humans.   
 
"Which way to MEDina…?"
     Muhammad solicits directions from passing 

camel driver.
 
"Xebecs…? Rarely sighted outside the MEDiterranean,
thanks to me and my brig-sloop Speedy." 
     Thomas Cochrane, 10th Earl of Dundonald, 

reminisces about naval history.
 
"Your MEDium is your message."
     Marshall McLuhan misquotes himself.
 
"Zeus...Danae...Perseus...Polydectes...MEDusa: 
fewer than six degrees of separation."  
     Frigyes Karinthy tests his theory.