ABC Rhyme Songs (Some in 99)

1 The ABCs of Somebody Else

     1.1 Old rhyme, new bottle
 
H, A, K, J...B, C, D...
F, L, M, N...P, O, R, E, G...
Y, I, U...S, X, Q...
T, V, Z and W.
Sure it's new -- but, what the hey!
At least you know your H, A, K!
 
     1.2 New rhyme, scroll'd bottle:
 
B, C, D…? Like 'ea' in 'freak.'
H and A…? Like 'ai' in 'Spain.'
E, G, P…? Like 'ee' in 'geek.'
J and K …? Like 'ei' in 'reign.'
    T, V, Z…? Like 'ea' in 'speaks.'
L, F, N…? Like 'e' in 'hex.'
I and Y…? Like 'i' in 'yikes!'
M, X, S…? Like 'e' in 'sex.' 
     O…? Like 'o' in 'overblown.
U and Q…? Like 'ue' in 'blue.
R…? Not unlike 'ar' in 'fart.'
W…? Like 'trouble, nu…?' --
though, why three syllables…? Mon dieu!
I simply have no clue. Do you…?
 

2 Take It from Me

     2.1 Take It in Reverse!

Z, Y, X and W...
V, U, T and S, R, Q...
P, O, N plus M and L...
K, J, I, H (as in 'Hell')...
G, F, E, D, C, B, A.  
ABC, but backwards, eh…?  
(Demonstrate some flair, some flexes
when you sing your ZYXes!)

     2.2 Take It from Center to Edge!
 
M, N, L and O, K, P...
J, Q, I, R, H, S, G...
T, F, U and E, V, D...
W and C, X, B...
Y, A, Z: not Linear B
but just a spiral’d ABC.

    
     2.3 Take It from Here!
 
C, B, A and E, D, J…
P, G, H and T, V, K…
M, N, I and S, X, Q…
F, K, Y and R, O, U…
Z and (lastly) W:
___________________.
(What's ^  ^  ^  ^ here…? A word or two from you.)

     2.4 Take It Straight! Then Take It Snak’d!

Straight stroked: A, E, F, H, T...
straight, as well: K, L, V, Z...
straight, too: M, N, X, and I...
W’s straight, too, like Y. 
The rest -- B, C, D, G and U... 
plus J, O, P and R, S, Q -- 
contain one curvy stroke (at least). 
(With that, this ABC's song's ceased.)

 
     2.5 Take My Order!

A, E, I, O, U and sometimes Y. 
Each a vowel; on that you can rely. 
All the rest -- B, C, D, F and G
and H, J, K, L, M…plus N and P
and Q, R, S, T, V…plus X and Z 
(and W, the one anomaly) -- 
are consonants. At last: your ABC.
(Next time, recall: there's more than twenty three!)