Telling Beads (Past)

The IntRO:

Life is what…? A dream…? 

A scream…? A stream…? 

A bream…? A meme…? Oh, no!
     No, life is but a -RO, ROW, ROE,
-REAU, -RAOH, RHO, -ROHE, ROT,
ROWE, HRO, ROP…
 
     "Oremus!"…? Let us pray!
"OROmus!"…? Let us ROW!
("AROmas!”…? Let not loose 
offensive stink: inapROp(R)Os!)
 
     “And not," il Papa pleads,
"while yet I tell my beads..."
 
The CaROl: 
 
     Young 
ROgues in bROgues
all dROve Pierce-ArROWs
ages 'fore "A" Fords aROSe,
ere ChevROlets (as spelt with their 'RO's,
or, as oft, misspelt with rare 'RHO's)
belch’d abROad such foul aROmas
men (and maids!) nosed…all in ROWs.
 
     Sans
spats, Jack KeROuac and BurROUGHs,,
Beats, beat bounds beyond Art's burROWs:
"ThROugh our burg, babes wheel wheelbarROWs,"
William wrote. "Behold their furROWs!"
(Babes, though retRO, ain't no 'ho's.)
"Doh! Them's no ladies: them's muh bROs!"
 
     Whence 
come the newest pinko'd CastROs --
fresh Fidels* to fROnt for past '-stROs-...?**
Think you'd catch -- not spelt with RHOs --
chic Sheryls, Johnnys (tos or fROS),
black Jims, CORvidae, AbsaROkas --
each and every one a cROW...?
 
     * An anagram for 'fields’ and thus
anagrammatically fresh.  
     ** Short for 'monstrosities' -- e.g., 
Juan Battista et al.
 
     Do 
Bryans dive for Clarence DarROWs..?
"O'er de top" be too de tROP,
though bets on Cal draw more dinéROs.
(FROm primeRO de EneRO,
bets are better bet in EuROs --
ROy can't bet: ROy's funds are fROze.)
 
     CROw
"Fi-ga-RO, Fi-ga-RO, Fi-ga-
RO, Fi-ga-RO, Fi-ga-RO, Fi-
ga-RO, Fi-ga-RO, Fi-gar-...(are
you who cROws those "FigaRO!"s
fROm -glyphs, i.e., fROm hieROs...?)
...ga-RO, Fi-ga-RO, Fi-ga-RO...)
 
     S'ppose 
fools sow oats at Mia FarROW's,
fine-tooth comb her nappy 'fRO
(and fan her flush an' fever’d bROW)
whilst dealing frequent hands of FaROs
flipping bicycles, not taROTs
gROwling, "How's your garden gROW...?"...?
 
     Quick,
Grab that crucifix: It's GeRO's.
Jesus...? He's the "He" who harROWs,
harROWs He some saints an' heROEs
(this although He squirts a seR' HOse), 
harROWs like there's no "tomairROWs,"
harROWs Hell. (That Hunk's a pRO!)
 
     (It's
vile, is Isle of Doc MoREAU...
and ikura is salmon ROE.)
 
      The
jury's out: did Jim* phone negROEs --
Joes from BROoklyn, where a tree gROWs--
fROm extension 404O,
just to jawbone Al Jar-REAU...?
 
     * Sgt. N. ("Jim") Smithe-Magee
(the N stands for 'NeRO')
 
     King got kill’d far, far fROm CaiRO
'cuz his eye was on the sparROW.
Martin, mi amigo caRO,
keep us out of war -- like WoodROW!

      Lord
Lou, aboard Achille LauRO,
loved -- but failed -- to turn his taROT.
Had he so, he'd seen such sorROW
launched when pirates take contROl.
(Losing lunch of leeks an' taRO
topp’d with carROts an' cilantRO,
later Lou, too, lost sang-fROid
an' -- LOL -- was left to ROW.)
 
     James et Mar'lyn: both MonROES,
mais, merely une bROke bread chez CiRO's --
none at Cafe TROcadeRO.
(Also missing: Tokyo ROse.)
 
     Gourmandette Ms. Laura NyRO:
"Try the veal an' nix the gyRO.
I'm not old, yet I'm no tyRO,"
quoting Eco's Name O' ROSE.
 
     Mose' plays poker with the phaRAOH:
"PaiR O' queens…? Pshaw: Treys...a paiR O'..."
Which pal cheats...? Phone Hercule PoiROT.
(Stump in po'ms, pols rule in pROse:
is this why PhaRAOH's so moROse...?)
 
     "QueRO-te, oi papai...QueRO,"
whispers Matt fROm MatamoROS.
Quiet Matt means "Te adoRO,
Dad: your nose...? A dead, red ROSe."
 
     ROtten ROw...? 'Tis far fROm King's ROw.
Axl ROSe ain't Marcus VarRO.
Abie's Irish ROSe...? No ChaRO,
nor is Pete ROse Hank ThoREAU.
 
     Splittin'...? Shit! 'Tis such sweet SorROW.
Shall I sit, till it be morROW...?
Think I'll drink some steins of StROH's,
then search for clothes down Saville ROW.
 
     The
aeROdROme northeast of TruRO's
now appROached by taking MetRO.
There is wheR' JOsé "Quinn" TeRO
(so the song by JethRO Tull goes)
taught the art of el ToreRO:
"Tora, Tora, Señor ToRO!"
taunts José...as bull he ThROWs.
 
     Quiz UngaRO, E. Rice BurROUGHs,
CiceRO, Great-Uncle SpiRO.
Bug Abe BurROWs, pRObe ShapiRO,
and, until time's up, De NiRO.
None -- not StavROs, not MiRÓ --
can understand those picaROs.
    VelcRO...? 
Vince Van Gogh votes "schmelcRO!"
 
     My 
widdl' puppy -- where, oh, wheR', OH...
Was his eye, too, on said sparROW...?
Wolf'd he too much dext- or sucROse...?
Will dogs wag in Catfish ROW...?
 
     Xavier squats atop the PhaROs,
setting Xenophon's HieRO
as a polonaise-boleRO-
Xibelani dance for dobRO,
xylophone an' xalam -- oRO 
Deo...oRO por milagRO!
 
     Mary, Paul 'n' Peter YarROW:
if youse yells, "Ravel's BoléRO!"
while you're dancin' Day's "DanseRO..."?
Yes! That would yield SRO!
 
     Zounds! The latest game fROm HasbRO
uses zlotys, held in escROW:
Zoë's fours trounce ZorRO'S  zeROS --
after “zixty-zeven” thROWs.