An Optimistic Outlook

BAD, BAD, BAD, BAD, BAD, BAD, GOOD; 

BAD, GOOD, BAD, BAD, BAD, BAD, GOOD;
BAD, BAD, GOOD, BAD, GOOD, BAD, GOOD;
BAD, GOOD, BAD, GOOD, GOOD, BAD, GOOD;
GOOD, GOOD, BAD, BAD, GOOD, GOOD, GOOD;
GOOD, BAD, GOOD, GOOD, GOOD, GOOD, GOOD;
GOOD, GOOD, GOOD, GOOD, GOOD, GOOD, GOOD:
SEE...? THINGS ARE GETTING BETTER ALL THE TIME.

De Diebus Natale

     Today is day one of his 83rd year.

They cry, "Happy Birthday," but Gramps doesn't hear.

     They hand him a card all his relatives sign'd.

Its greetings fall flat, though; he's legally blind.

     No birthday cake's offer'd; he's watching his weight.

Some candle-topp'd broccoli's serv'd on a plate.

     When ask'd for his key to life, what does he say...?

"I'll somehow contrive to survive through today."

     Tomorrow's day two of his 83rd year...

 

     (to be continued; a work in progress)

How Those Who's Whos Hold Their Hooch

The Pol Pot 

The Manute Bowl 

The Carafe Vaughn Williams

The Canteenflas 

The Ed Decanter

 

The Johnny Cask

The Yogi Barrel 

The Gertrude Stein

The Maurice Jar

The Kurt Vial

The Samuel Liter

The Elena Keg

The Flask Gordon

The J. Fred Muggs

The Sydney Carton

...and, with apologies,

The Gary Couper and 

The Georgie Vessel

     (More images to come: 

a work in progress)

The Fractured Quincunx: Five From Guest Blogger JB Reassembled Into Short Stack

 

Solitaire-y Judith

 

A Prehistory Of Standup Shtick: The Founding Fathers

I. Button Gwinnett & "Button's Fly"

II. Caesar Rodney & "Caesar's Salad"

III. Thomas Jefferson & "Tommy's Tuppence"

IV. Carter Braxton & "Carter's Spills"

V. Philip Livingston & "Philip's Screwdriver"

VI. Oliver Wolcott & "Oliver's Twist"

A Prehistory Of Standup Shtick: The Founding Fathers & "Caesar's Salad"

Continental Congressman from Delaware Caesar Rodney was once described by his brother Thomas as possessing "...a great fund of wit and humor...so that his conversation was always bright and strong."
     No surprise, then, when the popular bachelor drew on this gift of gab to entertain fellow revolutionaries by mocking their hated monarch back  in England, George III. 
     The king, already considered by many subjects to be more than several strawberry leaves short of a coronet, was further mocked by Rodney in a brutal monologue parodying the king's speeches to Parliament and his royal communications to the colonies regarding their grievances. The inane ramblings of the regent were only rendered more grotesque by Rodney's delivery of a tsunami of non sequiturs and verbal scraps -- a medley of minced nouns, diced verbs, chopped adjectives and julienned prepositional phrases.    
     Rodney's mimicry of George's ravings soon became known as "Caesar's Salad," and his recitation of this comic routine was often requested during recesses from talks of treason during the hot summer of '76. 
     Rumors that, in fact, the term "Caesar's Salad" was actually a reference to Rodney's disfigured countenance and to the green scarf he habitually wore to disguise this embarrassing feature suffered as a result of a severe facial cancer remain unverified.  

The Managram In The Moon: Mini-Meter #15 Georges Remi

GEORGESREMI
EGGRISEMORE

While Moonrise 

Tintin does explore,

Georges loves the lyric

'Eggrise' more.

"Destination Moon"

1950-1952

Georges Remi, cartooning 

as Herge, has alter "eggo" 

Tintin, in the comic strip 

"Destination Moon," visit 

earth's satellite via rocket 

ship in fiction years before 

folks did so in fact.

A Prehistory Of Standup Shtick: The Founding Fathers & "Button's Fly"

Most American Revolution buffs are familiar with Benjamin Franklin's memorable warning to his fellow signers of the Declaration of

Independence: "We must all hang together or we shall surely hang separately." 
     In fact, Franklin's frequent repetition of the iconic line, accompanied by his grabbing hold of his neck scarf, hangman's noose fashion, and 
sticking out his tongue in a parody of political execution became a gag (pun intended) referred to as "Ben's Tie" and proved a comedic relief
much-requested by his fellow Founding Fathers during those tendentious days leading to the Declaration's signing.

     "C'mon, Franklin! Do "Ben's Tie" again," the pair of Adamses from Massachusetts would cry. 

     Less well known is the history surrounding one Button Gwinnett, a co-signer of the Declaration from Georgia. Not to be outdone by his fellow revolutionary Franklin, Gwinnett attempted to best his rival's joshing with a piece of schtick of his own devising, one consisting of the sticking of his hand down the front of his trousers, the thrusting of it 
through the so-called French bearer and the wiggling of his thumb. This performance became known as "Button's Fly" but failed to achieve the comedic success of Franklin's achievement. 

     Some folks can tell 'em and some can't.

     Materials for future postings

     Presidents 

Warren G. Harding       "Warren's Piece"

Franklin Pierce             "Franklin's Stove" 

Grover Cleveland         "Grover's Corners"

Theodore Roosevelt      "Teddy's Bear" 

 

Anagramania

Text fragments due to be incorporated 

into an improbable narrative concerning 

the well-known deceased psychiatrist 

Eugene David Glynn: 

...seek'd a cranium... 

...rum, saké and ice...

...i.e., a sane Mr Duck... 

...I'm a cured sneak... 

...(variant) I'm a snake, cured...

...makes Curia end...

 

...run Akademe (sic)...

...(variant) Akademe (sic) urn...

...i.e., cakes and rum...

...ruin Dean's cake... 

..."A Mean Kid's Cure"...

...use red ink, Mac...

...Rice-Sneak Maud...

...I...? Me...? Under a sack...?

...(variant) Under a cask...? Me...? I...

...I cue mandrakes...

...rake mud (in case)...

...Ric and (eek!!) Maus...

...ramekin-caused...

...a mad cruise, Ken...

...Sendak, Maurice...

From The Archives: "S'awright!"

The ghost of Fred Trump channels 

Señor Wences, substituting his son 

Donald for the well-known Spanish 

ventriloquist's usual prop, Johnny.