Distichs: An Imaginary Alphabet of Imaginary Couplets from Imaginary Poetry

M

Singin' the Blues: A Thirteen-bar Alphabet

Azure 'n' Alice Blue, 
Baby 'n' Bice; 
Cornflower, Cobalt...
(Cerulean's nice). 
   Delft Blue 'n' Dodger Blue, 
blues play'd by Duke, 
plus blue is the hue of the 
blue whale's blue fluke. 
   Eton, Electric Blue, 
French 'n' Fluorescent. 
Glaucous, which acts as my  
antidepressant. 

   Haint, Honolulu, 

Havana Blue, nu...? 

Iris 'n' Indigo;

Jordy (the hue).  

   Klein Blue 'n' Lavender...

Midnight Blue, too. 

Navy 'n' Neon 'n' 

Non-photo Blue. 

   Oxford Blue, Prussian Blue, 

Persian 'n' Penn. 

(Stop! Have you heard enough...?

Simply say "When.")

   Process Blue, Powder Blue, 

Phthalo,  the pigment. 

Quacksalver's... Wait! THAT blue 

may be a figment. 

   Royal Blue, Robin's Egg Blue, 

Resolution. 

(Chalcanthite turns blue 

when dissolved in solution.) 

   Spanish Blue, Space Cadet, 

Silver Lake, Smalt. 

Sky Blue, Savoy, Sapphire... 

(What color's salt...?) 

   Teal Blue 'n' Turquoise 'n' 

Turin 'n' True. 

Thenard's Blue's aka Cobalt. 

(Who knew...?) 

   USAF Blue, 

UNESCO, UN. 

Uranian Blue...Wait! 

Did someone say "When"...? 

   Vista Blue. (W 

signals no blue --

no, nor neither does X, 

although Y 'n' Z do: 

   Yale Blue 'n' YinMn 'n' 

Zaffre Blue. Whew! 

(I forgot Lapis Lazuli. 

That's it: I'm through.)

The MAGAniloquent Seven (Plus Several): #8, Brendan Carr

   Meet 

FCC Chair Brendan Carr.

   Carr's of 

TV comedians Czar. 

   From Face 

One, "Hail Free Speech!" 

   From Face 

Two...? Overreach.

   (And are 

both faces two-faced...? They are.) 

Brendan Carr 

It's Miller Time...But His Time Is Almost Up

 

Poster carried at recent
Wednesday Wave 
Protest in Hampden 

Wednesday Wave Protest Sign: 10.1.25

 

The MAGAniloquent Seventeen: #8, Brian Kilmeade

Fox's Brian Kilmeade

airs his creed, 
proving nowt like excess 
does exceed: 
"Folk who're mentally ill, 
ill and homeless...? Just kill!"
(What we need...? Will to heed 

"Kill Kilmeade!") 

 
Brian Kilmeade 

Shutdown Day 1; or, Mr POTUS Doesn't Regret

 

"Pronouns, Shmonouns!" Confessions of a Culture-war-weary LGBTQIAphobe

'Til recently, 
were one call'd John 
or Jack or Joe  
or Jim, 
the pronouns folk 
would call upon 
were, as a rule, 
he/him. 
And we're one's name 

Babette or Bea, 

or Biddy call'd 
one were, 
the pronouns used, 
believe you me, 
were, on the whole, 
she/her. 
Now's heard they/them,

ze/zir, qui/quem...
All bore me 'til 

I'm numb.

(You ask me what 
MY pronouns are...? 

MY pronouns are 
ho/hum.)

Protest Placard for Showing at "No Kings" Rally in Hampden 9/26/25

 

Unfinished "Birthday Boy" Illustration

 

Open Letter to Stephen Miller

Multi-millions moving east 

to occupy new spaces

mime millions more migrating north 
to settle in new places.
Where're you look -- in ev'ry nook -- 
smile sundry suntanned faces. 
Of greeting lines and welcome signs,
though, scarcely any traces. 

     (more to come; work in progress)

Chary Choice; or, A Dozen Cooties in the Lard: Approaches to Chekhov's "The Cherry or Chard?"

(N.B.: The verses below treat only the first play in Chekhov's so-called "Fruits & Veggies" trilogy. The second and third dramas in his series, "La Pear e MusTARD" and "The Berry/ColLARD," will be featured and discussed in later poems.)

    Note 

world-weary playwright Sir Noël Cow-

ARD, 
     who 

not only penn'd 'em: in sev'ral he 

STARR'D.

     Then

check out top dramatist Czech Tom Stop-

PARD. 
     Full 

five of Tom's plays earn'd a Tony A-

WARD.

     No 

playwright but poet, Pierre de Ron-

SARD 

     from 

lists of tragedians ought to be 

BARR'D.

     How-

ever, tragedian Albee, Ed-

WARD

     made 

hay in the Theatre mis-named Ab-

SARD. 

     An 

Irish librettist was Shaw, George Ber-

NARD. 

     His 

spellings -- eccentric -- caught readers off-

GUARD.

      

     An

actor IN, author OF plays...? Sam Shep-

PARD. 
     In

both fields his work's held in highest re-

GARD.

     Most 

famous by far, tho'...? Will Shakespeare -- the 

BARD. 

     His 

true name's uncertain; his plays live, un-

SCARR'D.  

     (I'll 

sing not of Gilbert the ur-Savo-

YARD 

     who with 

frenemy Sullivan skirmish'd 'n' 

SPARR'D.

    Nor De-

pardieu, Gerard -- no, nor Cyril Rich-

ARD.

     to 

pose that pair playwrights would prove a ca-

NARD.

     Did 

someone cite Shemp, Moe or Curly How- 

ARD...?  

     One 

might as well mention Pierre Abe- 

LARD...

     which 

leads me to Chekhov's "The Cherry or 

CHARD?" 

     where's 

proffer'd a choice -- tho' that choice isn't 

HARD.

     All 

chaps choosin' 'cherry' best be on their 

GUARD.

     If 

facin' such query, I'll choose to choose 

'CHARD.'

The MAGAniloquentt Seventeen; or, The Cabinuts of Dr Pantload: #1 Thru #7

Here's FCC Chair 

Brendan Carr. 

Of folks on TV 

he's the Czar. 

From Face One, "Yay, free speech!"

From Face Two...? Overreach. 

And are both faces two-faced...? 

They are. 

(new image to come)

MAGA pundidiot 

Bannon, 

a short-temper'd, short-fused loose 

cannon, 

spouts racist remarks

which doubtless cause sparks. 

(One shudders to think what Steve's 

plannin.') 

Steve Bannon 

New FBI boss Kash 

Patel, 

a conspiracy the'rist 

from hell, 

like his prototype Hoover,* 

will plot and maneuver. 

(Does Clyde Tolson's name 

ring no bell...?) 

*J. Edgar and his Number 2, Clyde, were regularly -- conspiritorially or factually...?) -- rumored to be much more than co-workers.) 

Kash Patel 

   

When RFK Jr. talks 

"vacs," 

prepare too hear nonsense, not 

facts. 

And when lies multiply, 

no surprise: people die. 

Here's the thing: Jr.'s King of the Quacks. 

 

RFK Jr.

Pete Hegseth reeks! 

Odors galore: 

rotten-eggs-breath, leeks, road apples... More...?

Pete leaves shite in his shorts, 

while the White House reports 

how Pete's gas smells of basilisk spore. 

Pete Hegseth 

  

The Congress, one arm of Drumpf's Reich, 

now's led by a Johnson* call'd 

Mike. 

Mike's record is vile; 

a review of his file 

reveals zip, nada, nothing to 

like. 

   *Slang for male genitalia -- or maybe a used condom. 

Mike Johnson 

Drumpf's Chief of Naff Stephen 

Miller,

of Drumpf's '25 Project one 

pillar, 

is Drumpf's clone of Roy Cohn.

Vile behavior he's shown --

while best known as "Community Killer."

Stephen Miller

"King Dump": "Ubu Roi" Reimagined Yet Again

MAGAlligators All Around

     Another Abecedarial Sendak Sendup

MAGAlligators All Around:
Abandoning Allies;
Accelerating Atrocities;
Advancing Anarchy. 

   MAGAlligators All Around:

Assaulting Academics;
Abusing Atheists;
Appropriating Archives. 

   MAGAlligators All Around:

Arming Adversaries;
Assassinating Abortion Advocates;
Applauding Assholes. 

   MAGAlligators All Around:

Arresting Arab-Americans

Assisting Autocrats;

Advocating Armageddon. 

   MAGAlligators All Around:

Altering Appearances;

Airbrushing Autobiographical Accounts;

Arousing Animosity. 

   MAGAlligators All Around:

Ambushing Alternate Arguments;

Appearing Awkward;

Approving Adultery. 

   MAGAlligators All Around:

Avoiding Alzheimer's Assessments;

Achieving Aberration;

Announcing Apocalypse. 

   MAGAlligators All Around:

Arranging Armed Attacks;

Accepting Autocrats' Airplanes;

Accusing Attorneys. 

   Alligators All Around:

Axing Apprentices;

Acting Atrociously;

Acquitting Anarchists. 

   MAGAlligators All Around:

Amplifying Assets; 

Auctioning Access; 

Awarding Ashli. 

   MAGAlligators All Around: 

Appointing Airheads; 

Annexing Antarctica; 

Autographing Anything. 

   MAGAlligators All Around: 

Abhoring Affection;

Always Archfiends

Annihilating America.

   MAGAlligators ALL Around...

And All Addressing A Alone. 

Basilisks Becoming Big:

Breathing Brimstone; 

Badmouthing Bidens; 

Bullying Bankers. 

   Basilisks Becoming Big: 

Befriending Billionaires; 

Broadcasting Balderdash; 

Boosting Brexit. 

   Basilisks Becoming Big: 

Banning Books; 

Banging Blondes; 

Brokering Bibles. 

   Basilisks Becoming Big: 

Broaching Bonespurs; 

Bingeing Burgers; 

Bursting Balloons. 

   Basilisks Becoming Big: 

Baking Books; 

Breeding Bimbos; 

Babbling Bunk. 

   Basilisks Becoming Big: 

Boasting Birdies; 

Building Barriers; 

Backing Bitcoins. 

   Basilisks Becoming Big: 

Bypassing Briefings; 

"Believing" Batshit; 

Bashing Blacks. 

   Basilisks Becoming Big: 

Booing Bruce; 

Bragging Baldly...

Crocodiles Creating Chaos...

Drumpft's Epitaphft

     More from guest blogger GFH. 

Drumpft has sailed 

unto his rest. 

Senile retribution 

there must be forgot, 

and loy'lty test 

and all that pussy-grabbin' 

where the loser's 

ceas'd to be a star -- 

now just some burnt shit 

in a jar. 

Wednesday Wave Protest Signs

Only The Best People

The Kennedy Center 

has crown'd a new boss --

a gain for Vulgarity.

(Quality's loss.)

Now, Donald shall sever 

the cream from the dross.

Attention, America! 

Cock an ear, please, 

as the Center's golf-shoe-licking
board of trustees 
introduces with pride 

this year's five honorees: 

"Applaud Florence Foster 

(Ms. Jenkins to you)!

It's Flo whose ascents 

lesser divas dar'n't do. 

(Her F above high C's

a tour de force, nu...?)"

"Awardee Ed Wood, 

film director first-class!

Edward's "Plan 9 from Outer Space": 

who'll e'er surpass...? 

(Mr. Wood can't be with us 

this ev'ning, alas.)" 

Amanda McKittrick Ros, novelist... 

William Topaz McGonagall, poet... 

Donald J. Drumpf, polycultural icon....

(a work in progress) 

Curse For Bully POTUS

Today's verses created by guest blogger GFH -- with a few small edits from Uly. 

Trump must get Atomic Wedgies
And be forced to eat his veggies.

Lots of Noogies and Pink Bellies;

No appearances on tellies.

Dutch Rubs and a Tittie Twister 

Need be meted to this blister.

Don't, as well, neglect the Swirly --

Very often...very early.

Dog Day Doggerel

The ruby-eyed cicadas call'd 
the locust's second cousin. 

They surface during summer months, 

when soil's no longer fruzzen. 

Then, eggs and nymphs no more,

adult cicadas be a-buzzin.' 

(If you think borer bees be loud, 

you really ain't heard nuzzin.' 

I thought I heard a wasp one day;

as things turned out, it wasn.')

And tho' all old cicadas die, 

strange new ones have arusin.' 
They're ev'rywhere. They're in my hair. 
(I've swallow'd sev'ral dozen.) 

The moral of this verse...? 

There's many call'd, far fewer chussen.

Forever Young (The War, You Know)

I, 

in 1942, 

am born 

(of all the luck!) a Jew. 
The odds predict 

I'll not survive. 

(Indeed, I'm dead

by '45.) 

In '43, 

in Tokyo, 

I'm born -- in wartime,

don't ya know. 

By '45, 

I, too, am toast --

at barely two years old, 

a ghost.

Korea,

Fall of '53. 
An Incheon infant...

Hey: that's me!

At last they're 

drawing down the War. 

(Alas! I'm dead 

by '54.) 

Viet Nam,

1964. 

I'm born amidst 

more Asian war. 

Remember, please, 

this place and date. 

I die at Hue 

in '68.

(A work in progress)

Casa Verde

Preppin' for the Protests: Stand With Ukraine Edition

Nuoem: 

Go Home! 

End Trump's 

ICEcapades! 

No More 

ICE Ages!

MAINTAIN UKRAINE! 

BEAT the RUSH: 

BEAT the RUSSIANS!

DON'T GIVE UP: 

STAND UP! 

DON'T SHUT UP: 

SPEAK UP! 

DON'T DROP OUT: 

SPEAK OUT! 

MAKE GOOD NOISE! 

GIVE A DAMN! 

WE'RE HERE. 

WHERE ARE YOU...? 

SUSTAIN UKRAINE! 

HOOT the POOT! 
MUTE the POOT!
NEUT' the POOT! 
BOOT the POOT! 
(SHOOT the POOT...?)