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Saturday, March 28, 2020

Eggcentricity III

The Ballad of Drump O'Love the Bully,
Asshole/Antagonist of the 21st Century
(a fragment)

     Canto 1 
When, years from now,
wonks work out how
this plague “inveig’d” our nation,
one only hopes
they peg all dopes
who buoy’d it – peg ‘em fully.
Among that lot
(some known, some not),
one vile administration
left millions dead.
Who howl'd, "I'm Head!"…?
‘Twas Drump O’Love the Bully.

     (to be continued, if we live)

Eggcentric Prisons:
Gulegg 'n' Stalegg -- or is it the 

'oeuf'er way a'roe'und...?

Friday, March 27, 2020

Eggcentricity II

Eggcentric NASA: 
"The Eggle Has Landed!"

























Two Superheroes (fragments)

VaginaGirl
It's a plane! It's a bird!
(Tho' no passerine mynah.) 
It's super-heroic
Regina Vagina! 
She's here...then she's sighted
in South Carolina. 
The drafts as she passes
engender angina. 

     


     
EgoBoy

It's a bird! It’s a plane!
It's a nerd named Rodrigo,
whose id is diminutive. 
Not so his ego.
His man cave's in Spain
near Galicia's Vigo,
tho' lately he's dating
some bird from Oswego

Thursday, March 26, 2020

Eggcentricity I

Eggcentric Interrogation:
Third Deggree
Hey, fellas and gals! 
Starting today, on each 
and every morning 'til Easter
(and who knows...? Possibly 
beyond!), an Eggcentricity 
image will appear right here.* 

Collect 'em all! Trade 'em 

with your pals! Don't forget: 
tell all your friends!
    (And be sure to drink 
your "Ova"tine!) 

* Adjacent to it will be a 
verse fragment unrelated 
to the Eggcentricity.




     
     Shiva (a fragment)
She is nothing if not something,
if not everything goy.
Yes, she's Shiva the Yeshiva boy’s gal.
She’s a fun thing. (She’s no nun thing.)
An home run thing…? Oh, boy!
Yes, she's Shiva the Yeshiva boy’s pal.
She’s a plaything, right-away thing.
Bird o' prey thing...? Vey! Oy!
Yes, she's Shiva the Yeshiva boy’s mal.
She’s a Hun thing, hit-‘n’-run thing.
Should one shun…? Or enjoy
Shiva, shiksa from the Suez Canal...?

Wednesday, March 25, 2020

Upper Handustan

Time was, t'was dubb'd U S of A.
Its polies…? All-American!
But that, my friend, was yesterday.
Today it’s Upper Handustan.
The despot there’s a billionaire,
an autocratic Uberman
who swears allegiance to the ban-
derole of Upper Handustan.

What once was het'rogeneous
is, sadly, now homogenous
because Sir Stable Genius
who rules there is mysogynous,
psychotic, narcissistic, racist --
and who sports a tan 
of hues he brews from powder'd traffic cones.
That's Upper Handustan.

What once was call'd America
would welcome Old World tired and poor,
would greet Third World diaspora 
with outstretch'd hand, with open'd door.
DPs now...? Stopp'd. "Halt, Sis! Whoa, Br'er!
You can't come here." (Where's "Yes We Can"...?)
You don't, you'll die...? We couldn't care..."
Yup, yup! That's Upper Handustan.

(More "Upper H" to come: a work in progress)

Folderol From a Few Friends

Said our president in recent days,
In his typical, obdurate haze:
“If you really must know,
Far as viruses go,
I liked AIDS, ‘cause it just killed the gays."
                        -- Big Pig, CEO of Hogmalion

There once was a virus corona,
That forced us to stay home alone-a,
As Trump kept on lyin'
More people kept dyin'
Till finally they took his cell phone-a.
                         -- Anonymous from Oregon

Tuesday, March 24, 2020

Whose Stuff Is This?

Veronica queries:
"Which rivers are Lake's...?"
Hawkins, who's hungry, asks:
"Which rice is Bean's...?"
Minh's Q&A kicks in:
"Which pimps are Ho's...?"
Autry needs answers: 
"Which T-shirts are Gene's...?"

Rex (or Rhodes) would "requestigate": 
"Which rhymes are Reason's...?
McDaniel's most curious: 
"Which fins are Hattie's...?"
The guy stocking Cheese Whiz asks:
"Which art is Kraft's...?"
Kay the journalist queries:
"Which doggies are Katty's...?"

Here's Lucy, who needles us:
"Which bats are Ball's...?"
Arthur's exam question...?
"Which birds are Bea's...?"
Is it Axl who's "axing" us: 
"Which guns are Rose's...?"...?
Diddy demands to know:
"Which beans are P's...?"

Why'd Wendy's pal Peter pry:
"Which pots are Pan's...?"...?
Is tell-tale Talese quizzing:
"Which straits are Gay's...?"...?
'Tis Latifa who "-terrogates": 
"Which kinks are Queen's...?"
Later, Leno's lips look for:
"Which PBs are Jay's...?"

Ms Bono...? She don' know:
"Which tables are Cher's...?"
Alexander asks everyone:
"Which hams are Haig's...?"
Mrs. Wood lets her lawyer ask: 
"Which lyin's Tiger's...?"
 Andy, footballer, bawls,
"Which arms are Legg's...?"

Billy enjoins us:
"Which sodas are Sunday's...?"
Kung Fu staple Luke asks us:
"Which lox are Keye's...?"
Former Remington lead asks:
"Which irons are "Steele's...?"
Hoopster Rollins's question...?
"Which flowers are Tree's...?"

As Sean of the films asks:
"Which pencils are Penn's...?"
Actor Stephen, a Brit, begs:
"Which burgers are Fry's...?"
Jazzman Adams, on bari, pumps:
"Which salt is Pepper's...?"
While Madison's wondering:
"Which gals are Guy's...?"

Homeboy Harv cross-examines:
"Which cookies are Milk's...?"
Tomboy Doris investigates:
"Which knights are Day's...?"
Could Cornell put the screws to us:
"Which yeast be West's...?"...?
'Course! And Joel could lob follow-ups:
"Which blues are Grey's...?"

Mr. Ziegfeld's exam question...?
"Which ebbs are Flo's...?"
So: O'Neill has one, too; it's:
"Which wages are Tip's...?"
Here's a gabby Greek sage grilling:
"Which shoes are Soc's...?"
Henry Gates picks our brains with his:
"Which fish are Chip's...?"

Actor Charles wants to ask about:
"Which songs are Dance's...?"
Ms. Derek still puzzles: 
"Which arrows are Bo's...?"
Meanwhile, Peter's arch foe asks:
"Which ladders are Hook's...?"
U.K.'s C.P.'s Q/A'ing with:
"Which reigns are Snow's...?"
    
Poet Robert's petition's put:
"Which goods are Service's...?"
Alan of Shane's suit...?
"Which lasses are Ladd's...?"
Judy Garland and Sisters seek: 
"Which teeth are Gumm's...?"
Mr. Pitt (not Elaine's) plea...?
"Which staples be Brad's...?"

(More "Stuff" to come? Possibly...possibly.)

Monday, March 23, 2020

Wolalypalooza

     A wolaly is a lyric poem incorporating all the elements of a particular word ladder. This new form was originally devised by Ulysses Poe, author of "What A's Not For" and "The Bralphabet." 


     World’s Shortest Wolaly

Sean > Bean


     Two Family Wolalies

Mom > mod > mad > Dad

Sis > sib > bib > bio > Bro 


     An Open > Shut Wolaly

When pies, like cases, open,
that’s when birds begin to sing.
Once pies go in the oven,
those birds can, and do, take wing.
When pies are mere ideas,
even then I pooh-pooh cakes.
Not every lad and lass can boast
an Uncle Sven who bakes.
If Sven won’t don his apron,
then your Sten you’ll need to arm.
No doubt you’ll need to stun Sven only –
not do lethal harm.
When piemen choose to shun their duties,
you’ve no option but
to force the guy to make a pie.
(With that, this case is shut.)


     Wolaly From Top > Toe

How short’s your trip from top > toe...?
’Tis but a single step you go.


     Words > Rules (A Wolalial Hommage a Steven Pinker)

From wormholes wet wake wool-webb’d words
which wend their way from well-walk’d wards.
Wing’d wizards wave their wicked wands.
Their wish, while wintry weather wanes…?
They wish that waters wind up wines,
with which, as well with witches’ wiles,
weird wanderlust within us riles.
(We can't wait, Pinker, for your rules.)


     Wolalia Musica

It’s very old,
my antique oud.
You’d throw it out…?
Some nut be you’d.
(The net’s where
new ouds are pursued.)

Xmas in March

     Here are 26 winter-holiday-themed adonics drawn from text fragments associated with the season and paired to form a stanza, the lines of which deliver (via these randomly generated juxtapositions and with the occasional aid of added punctuation) a series of somewhat eccentric images not usually associated with Little Lord Jesus's natal celebration -- witness the fairly  straightforward "Eight maids a-milkin' Frosty the Snowman" and "Moon on the breast of Nine ladies dancing." Or "Car'ls bein' sung by Donder 'n' Blitzen" -- a favorite of the author. The remaining lines offer more murky visions (or more poetic ones, depending on your enthusiasm for modern poetry) but all seem provocative. What do you think?


All thro’ the house…? Not Balthazar, Gaspar.
Car’ls bein’ sung by Donder ‘n’ Blit-zen.
Eight maids a-milkin’ Frosty the Snowman.
Gift of the Maji Hopes that Saint Nichol’.
In dulce jubi Jingle bells, jingle.
Kerchief and I in Let it snow, let it!
Moon on the breast of Nine ladies dancing.
O Tannenbaum, O Peace, sleep in heaven.
Quelle est cette odeur Rudolph the red-nos’d.
Stille nacht, heilig Tots with their eyes all.
Up on the housetop Visions of sugar.
-Way in a manger ‘X’ back in ‘Xmas’.
Yule log cake (buche deZnarodzenI’pa!

Thursday, March 19, 2020

The Decarone: Ten Activities & Thought Experiments to Occupy Our Minds as We Sit Self-quarantined Trying NOT to Think of the Coronavirus

Fund new research on Epirus --
though pluPyrrhic vict'ries tire us. 
     Muse upon the child of Jairus...?
Nope! Faith-healing shan't inspire us.

     Are these shards, in fact, Palmyra's...?
They're from Crete...? Our prof will fire us.
     Limn an image of Osiris
using red ink on papyrus.
     Tweet a tweet to Miley Cyrus
begging her some cash to wire us.
     Phone the mayor of Bucyrus.
Quiz him, “Can't Ohio hire us…?”
     Should Auntie Mame as Lady Iris
to an afterparty squire us…?
     Stephen King’s Dreamcatcher’s byrus:
what to think does such require us…?
     Brains – most brains --- display the gyrus.
No...? So: who're you callin' liar...? Us...?
     Putin -- or some other sly Rus --
shall with fake news soon enmire us.

Wednesday, March 18, 2020

One + Two (Bible Edition)

Pere, Fils, l’Esprit…?
Three bigshots in God.
Pere, Fils, l’Esprit:
two rockers, one mod.
     Pere, Fils, l’Esprit…?
The second’s a word.
The first plays his dad.
(The third bloke's a bird.)

     Next, Caspar, Melchior --
Balthazar, too.
Melchior, Caspar
and Balthazar...nu...?
     Balthazar, Caspar
(with Melchior): two
out of three Mr. Magus.
(One's Mr. Magoo.)

     Shem, Ham and Japheth.
You've known ‘em for years.
Shem, Ham and Japheth:
a shot and two beers.
     Shem, Ham and Japheth.
Like Hines, Hines and Dad,
the one lacking talents
the younger two had.

     Kez,' Keren-, Jemima.
Three daughters of Job.
Kez,' Keren-, Jemima:
pair'd cubes frame a globe.
     Kez,' Keren-, Jemima.
Two sharps and a flat.
(The third served as nanny...
and granny...and cat.*)

     * Old Aunt Jemima the 
minstrel-show character, 
(newer) Aunt Jemima the
food brand logo persona 
and Jemima the dancing 
feline in the Broadway
musical "Cats."

     Shadrach, Meshach
and Abednego -- chums
of the fiery furnace guy*:
one pipe, two drums.
     Meshach, Abednego...
Shadrach as well.
Notes Nebuchadnezzar,
''You're Jewish...? Do tell!"

     * The Biblical Daniel

Sunday, March 15, 2020

'REAL' > 'FAKE': a New Wolaly as Winter Itinerary

     The wolaly or word ladder lyric is a poem 
whose form features units of a word ladder series 
set out in order and fleshed out in meter and rhyme.

You'd wend, from 'real' to 'fake,' your way...?
You'll snowmobile through 'reel.' You may
then hang a hairpin left at 'reek,'
concluding which 'tis 'peek' you'll seek.
    You'd, further, sneak a peek at 'perk'...?
You'll turn, Saint-Nick-like, "with a jerk,"
toboggan 'bout a mile, then 'park' --
no wiser way to leave your 'mark.'
    On one-horse sleigh you'll stray from there
(avoid the mustang, pick the 'mare'
if you'd be spared that extra 'fare')...
to brake at 'fake' -- no worse for wear.

The Cabinet of Dr Pantload

Congress, an  arm of Drumpf's  Reich,     now is  led by some  Johnson* call'd  Mike.     Mike's  record is  vile;     a re- vie...