KEB USPs GOP RSVP to JRB's SOTU

     "Do 

look at me, America...at 

me, me, me, me, ME-E-E-E-E!

     You'll 

see I'm not a housewife -- tho' I

fey one on TV.

     My 

teardrops...? Mock! They're of the croc-

odile variety. 

     No 

'me' be in 'America'...? Sez

who...? Look, nu...? You'll see..." 

Drumpf Channels Gore...

      ...(Leslie, that is) vis a vis his G.O.P.

"It's my party and I'll
spy if I want to...
defy if I want to...
deny if I want to.

     It's my party and I'll

lie if I want to...

let fly if I want to...

stand by if I want to.

     It's my party and I'll

buy what I want to...

dye if I want to...

grab thigh when I want to.

     You would, too...

if this happen'd to

you...

Uly's Psychopedia: Today's Word: trompe-l'oeils

     Meaning: 

deceiver of the eye

     Pronunciation: 

/trawhmp loyz/

     Used in a sentence: 
As POTUS, Trompe told 30,573 l'oeils.

Rhymin' Winnies...

     ...with a nod to SH (she knows who she is) 

He's a Cambrian stromatolite 
enwrapped in an amoebocyte 
inside a flaming pile o' shite.

His candor's tongue-in-cheeky

in a twice-used condom (leaky)

wrapp'd in Tim Scott's old dashiki.

Ballderdash

     Wiffle Ballmer 

     It is 

dimpl'd. It is yellow. It is 

roundish, doncha know it.
     It will 

curve...'n' then will swerve...'n' then will 

sink each time you throw it.

     It is 

hollow; in its hold it hoards some 

snow-dissolving salt.
     (Do you 

fail to find this charming...? Such is 

surely not my fault.)

Some Colors Are Dolors

     If it's Huesday, this must be Washington. 

     I. Full Spectrum 

Loy'lty to the Constitution
each House member -- Blue, Red -- pledges.
Keeping fit to do so means
they eat their Green 'n' Yellow veges.

     II. Limited Palette 

'Twas true in 2020.

So 'tis true in '22:

There'll ne'er be room for Orange

in the Red, White and Blue.

     III. "New Glory"...?

Every fascist needs a flag.

The Ghosts of Gammer Grosnez; or, The Mad Non-Binary Olfactor's Song: Tercet the Third

"We thought we smelt some madeleines 

ala Les Temps Perdu.
We whiff'd once more and...Zut! Alors! 

'Twere more oDOR de loo.

(The loo near Speakers' Corner leaks;

still, patrons stand in queue.)" 

SwitchAroos

     

     

King Aroo...? Strip penn'd by Kent. (Of royal blood...? I wonder...) 

Kangaroo...? Marsupial -- and traffic threat Down Under. 

Kong a Roux...? With butter sauce, will eat whomever's handy. 

Küng (er...who?) Theology's his modus operandi.

OuLiPo Countdown

     OuLiPo's founders plumped 

for the use of mathematical 

constraints in the creation of 

a new literature. Perhaps they 

should have looked to this 

august eleven for inspiration.

Alfred 10yson
Ernest Borg9
Phoebe C8s
Ali 7s
Beatr 6
Ral 5s
George 4man
Tyrone Gu3
Henri de 2louse-Lautrec
Stevie 1der
0 Mostel

     Key: Alfred Tennyson, Ernest Borgnine,

Phoeve Cates, Alice Evans, Beatrice Hicks,

Ralph Ives, George Foreman, Tyrone Guthrie,

Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec, Stevie Wonder

and Zero Mostel

One Fine Day In The Life And Death Of A Couch Potato

          He died as he'd lived.

Runcibl'd Spooners: Hot & Not

Sphynx's riddle...? 

Snare for fools: 
Pyramids at Giza.
     Pepperoni 

plopp'd near tools: 
gear -- amid sat pizza.
     Moral:
Three ways men walk...? 

Two, cheese; one, chalk.

Oz is nice, 

tho' not this season: 

No place like home.

     Bloody Christ! 

This joint is freezin'!

Whole place...? Like Nome.

     Moral:

Don't twisters ride; 

it's cold outside.