This famed reporter's ten most
recent responses to hot-mic questioning sound eerily similar
to that iconic outburst issued
during his historic coverage of
the 1937 Hindenburg disaster.
I.
Jimmy Kimmel:
"Which does the Herbster find
more disturbing: Drumpf's lies
or Drumpf's locks...?
Herbert Morrison:
"Both! They're insanity!"
II.
Rachel Maddow:
"What in your opinion, Mr.
Morrison, lies behind Drumpf's unyielding support from
America's religious leadership...?"
Herbert Morrison:
"Faux-christianity."
III.
Maya Angelou:
"So, brother M.: what's the title
of the verse to be recited at the ceremony marking the opening
of the new Drumpf ballroom...?
Herbert Morrison:
"Ode to Nit's Vanity."
IV.
Captain James T. Kirk:
"Kirk to Morrison: which alien
world in the Delta star system
should the Enterprise next visit...?"
Herbert Morrison:
"Go there! View Planet D."
V.
TCM's Robert Osborne:
"Would you say, Herbie, that it
was his unusual accent that
proved Cary Grant's most enduring characteristic...?"
Herbert Morrison:
"Mo' the urbanity."
VI.
Dr. James "Buddy" Powell:
"Hey, H.M.: did the sea cow eat
this algae...?"
Herbert Morrison:
"No, the du-...manatee."*
*Herb's initial "dugong" response gets inexplicably cut short.
VII.
Dr. Divina Balawan:
"How, Herb, shall science ever
replace the coconut...?
Herbert Morrison:
"Grow the banana tree."
VIII.
Sean Hannity:
Who, my friend, is the world's
most-respected news source...?
Herbert Morrison:
"Sho' ain't, you, Hannity!"
IX.
J. M. Barrie:
"Which male chauvinist, young Morrison, sexually assaulted our Tinkerbell...?"
Herbert Morrison:
"Doh! Peter Pan! It...! He...!"
X.
South Dakotan Kristi Noem:
Now that our big beautiful POTUS's
big beautiful face appears on Mt. Rushmore, isn't that monument greater than ever before...?"
Herbert Morrison:
"Noem, he's too granity!"
