"Pronouns, Shmonouns!" Confessions of a Culture-war-weary LGBTQIAphobe

'Til recently, 
were one call'd John 
or Jack or Joe  
or Jim, 
the pronouns folk 
would call upon 
were, as a rule, 
he/him. 
And we're one's name 

Babette or Bea, 

or Biddy call'd 
one were, 
the pronouns used, 
believe you me, 
were, on the whole, 
she/her. 
Now's heard they/them,

ze/zir, qui/quem...
All bore me 'til 

I'm numb.

(You ask me what 
MY pronouns are...? 

MY pronouns are 
ho/hum.)

Protest Placard for Showing at "No Kings" Rally in Hampden 9/26/25

 

Unfinished "Birthday Boy" Illustration

 

Open Letter to Stephen Miller

Multi-millions moving east 

to occupy new spaces

mime millions more migrating north 
to settle in new places.
Where're you look -- in ev'ry nook -- 
smile sundry suntanned faces. 
Of greeting lines and welcome signs,
though, scarcely any traces. 

     (more to come; work in progress)

Chary Choice; or, A Dozen Cooties in the Lard: Approaches to Chekhov's "The Cherry or Chard?"

(N.B.: The verses below treat only the first play in Chekhov's so-called "Fruits & Veggies" trilogy. The second and third dramas in his series, "La Pear e MusTARD" and "The Berry/ColLARD," will be featured and discussed in later poems.)

    Note 

world-weary playwright Sir Noël Cow-

ARD, 
     who 

not only penn'd 'em: in sev'ral he 

STARR'D.

     Then

check out top dramatist Czech Tom Stop-

PARD. 
     Full 

five of Tom's plays earn'd a Tony A-

WARD.

     No 

playwright but poet, Pierre de Ron-

SARD 

     from 

lists of tragedians ought to be 

BARR'D.

     How-

ever, tragedian Albee, Ed-

WARD

     made 

hay in the Theatre mis-named Ab-

SARD. 

     An 

Irish librettist was Shaw, George Ber-

NARD. 

     His 

spellings -- eccentric -- caught readers off-

GUARD.

      

     An

actor IN, author OF plays...? Sam Shep-

PARD. 
     In

both fields his work's held in highest re-

GARD.

     Most 

famous by far, tho'...? Will Shakespeare -- the 

BARD. 

     His 

true name's uncertain; his plays live, un-

SCARR'D.  

     (I'll 

sing not of Gilbert the ur-Savo-

YARD 

     who with 

frenemy Sullivan skirmish'd 'n' 

SPARR'D.

    Nor De-

pardieu, Gerard -- no, nor Cyril Rich-

ARD.

     to 

pose that pair playwrights would prove a ca-

NARD.

     Did 

someone cite Shemp, Moe or Curly How- 

ARD...?  

     One 

might as well mention Pierre Abe- 

LARD...

     which 

leads me to Chekhov's "The Cherry or 

CHARD?" 

     where's 

proffer'd a choice -- tho' that choice isn't 

HARD.

     All 

chaps choosin' 'cherry' best be on their 

GUARD.

     If 

facin' such query, I'll choose to choose 

'CHARD.'

The MAGAniloquentt Seventeen; or, The Cabinuts of Dr Pantload: #1 Thru #7

Here's the FCC's Chair 

Brendan Carr. 

Of fun folk on TV 

he's the Czar. 

From THIS face...? "Yay, free speech!"

From THAT face...? Overreach. 

Are both faces two-faced...? 

Yes, they are. 

Brendan Carr 

This MAGA pundidiot 

Bannon, 

a short-temper'd, short-fused loose 

cannon, 

spouts racist remarks

which doubtless cause sparks. 

(One shudders to think what Steve's 

plannin.') 

Steve Bannon 

New FBI boss Kash 

Patel, 

a conspiracy the'rist 

from hell, 

like his prototype Hoover,* 

will plot and maneuver. 

(Does Clyde Tolson's name 

ring no bell...?) 

*J. Edgar and his Number 2, Clyde, were regularly -- conspiritorially or factually...?) -- rumored to be much more than co-workers.) 

Kash Patel 

   

When RFK Jr. talks 

"vacs," 

prepare too hear nonsense, not 

facts. 

And when lies multiply, 

no surprise: people die. 

Here's the thing: Jr.'s King of the Quacks. 

 

RFK Jr.

Pete Hegseth reeks! 

Odors galore: 

rotten-eggs-breath, leeks, road apples... More...?

Pete leaves shite in his shorts, 

while the White House reports 

how Pete's gas smells of basilisk spore. 

Pete Hegseth 

  

The Congress, one arm of Drumpf's Reich, 

now's led by a Johnson* call'd 

Mike. 

Mike's record is vile; 

a review of his file 

reveals zip, nada, nothing to 

like. 

   *Slang for male genitalia -- or maybe a used condom. 

Mike Johnson 

Drumpf's Chief of Naff Stephen 

Miller,

of Drumpf's '25 Project one 

pillar, 

is Drumpf's clone of Roy Cohn.

Vile behavior he's shown --

while best known as "Community Killer."

Stephen Miller