The 2019 original "What A's Not For," addressed to a boy and his sister, indicated one at a time to that anonymous pair not only a series of 26 items which A and the other 25 alphabet letters did not initialize but also a second series, every letter of which in each of the 26 multi-word items in the series began with the same key letter. This new revision of that illuminated ABC, widening the scope of its addressees, speaks to a series of individuals from history and legend whose names begin with their verses's key letter and each of whom has proven instrumental in the creation of one or another invention significant in the evolution of alphabets. Thus a reading of the poem and its footnotes can provide education as well as amusement. The original color images picturing what each letter did stand for are in this new edition accompanied by b/w spot illustrations portraying what the original title suggests -- that is, what each alphabet letter is not for...and, indeed, four of each of those items. And, of course, the total poem features as much additional wordplay as poetaster Poe can shamelessly manage to insert.
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Armadillo Chips
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No, Agrippa,* A's not for
four armadillo chips...although
allow'd as afterthought's an
Appaloosan acrobat.
*Heinrich Cornelius Agrippa von
Nettesheim, famed Renaissance polymath,
creates the Celestial Alphabet c1525.
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Bien Cuit Bacon Strips
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B...? No, Byrom,* B's not for
four bien cuit bacon strips:
Big Brother's brief...? Be babysitting's
badass bowler'd bureaucrat.
*British poet John Byrom invents
a system of shorthand c1715.
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Cornucopias
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C...? No, Cyril,* C's not for
four cornucopias...
...'cuz (candidly) crisp coatings choke
cute chocolate-cover'd crocodiles.
*With his brother, Methodius, St. Cyril is
credited with devising the Glagolithic alphabet
used to transcribe Old Church Slavic in 863.
D...? Oh, no, Dee,* D's not for
four Dunciads Drumpft does:
Duets D does distinguish...? Dartmouth's
dapper dancing discophiles.
*John Dee, court astronomer to Elizabeth I,
invents an Enochian alphabet c1582.
No, Emmerkar,* E's not for
four Easter Islanders:
Each earnest epileptic elf
exhibits elasticities.
*To this legendary Sumerian king is ascribed
the invention of cuneiform c2300 BC.
F...? No, Franklin,* F's not for
four four-foot faux fox furs:
Far from't! Fast friends foresee ferocious
feeding-frenzy fantasies.
*Benjamin proposed a phonetic alphabet based
on Latin ABCs while containing additional letters
created by him c768.
No, Gomango,* G's not for
four gaudy garden gnomes.
Gay gyro geeks grab gravity's gynormous
Gs: Go, galivanters!
* Indian language activist Mangel Gomango
invents Sorang Sompeng script in 1936.
(more to come, including old and new images; a work in progress)
