Alpha Betes: The Boffolo

       "The Boffolo" 

  An Image for the Letter B excerpted from 

  "Alpha Betes: Unsung Elites Among the Beasts -- 

  an Illustrated ABC with Rhyming Distichs"

  The Boffolo roam.

  (We so hoped they'd stay home.)

Granny Anna's Anagrampage Rampage Page: an ELASTic et als tour de farce

    "In the 

parish of Sleat, on the island of Skye

     stands a 

column of slate eight...no: nine meters high. 

     In Pi-

raeus, in Greece, stands an andresite stela

     that  

shadows the shrine of the martyr St. Ela.

     Just 

south of Malay lies the Gaspar Selat

     where swarm 

lates -- tho' freshwater pisces they're not,"

     lip syncs

lady o' lit'rature Madame De Staël 

     in a 

breath stale with onions, tobacco and bile.,,

     ...then pro-

ceeds: "Oxford waterwheels, nourish'd by leats,

     grind the 

grain so at least all the neighborhood eats.

     Likewise, 

malts for the Altes beer brewers obtain:

    'May thou 

laste and endure, brewers!' That's the refrain."

    Asks her

priest: "Who's been bit by the vampire Lesta-..."

     "Cease!! D'you 

think an astel overhead spares you...? Nah!"

     warns De 

Staël. "You need garlic to borrow or steal.

     ' Salte that

bloodsucker!'...? Nope! Garlic's still the ideal."

     "From a

tsela' of Adam God fashions an Eve.

     An es-

tal houses Christ -- if His book you believe,"

     drones De 

Staël as, invested in bean greens and teals,

     in her

Model X Tesla down East L she wheels.

     These -- her

quotes -- via lyrics from E'Last arrive.

     That Ko-

rean boy band et als help 'em survive.

     (If you

covet more nonsense, more poppycock tales,

     consult

<PlAysWEllWithLetTerS.com> for details.)

*   *   *   *   *

     Materials and minimal definitions; rhymes are

     consistent with pronunciation guides consulted online. 

ST. ELA: canonized Turkish woman   

STEAL: pilfer  

STALE: not fresh   

SLATE: metaphoric rock   

SLEAT: parish on island of Skye    

STAËL: Anne Louise Germaine French Revolution woman of letters     

STELA: upright stone column   

SALTE: imperative 'to salt'   

SELAT: Indonesian strait   

TEALS: several blue hues     

TALES: stories   

TESLA: electric auto     

TSELA': Hebrew for 'rib'   

ET ALS: several expressions of 'and others' 

E'LAST: Korean boy band   

ESTAL: Old French for stall or stable  

EAST L: east portion of alphabetized street   

ALTES: style of lager from Detroit       

ASTEL: arch of boards above miners' heads in shaft    

LEAST: smallest amount     

LATES: genus of freshwater perch    
LASTE: obsolete 'last' or imperative "Endure!"   

LEATS: several trenches leading to British waterwheels   

LESTA-...: reference to certain vampire (interrupted)   

Anagrampage: Rats 'n' Tsar, Arts 'n' Star

“Who’ll Russia rid of rampant rats,” cried Yaroslav the First. 
“The Moskva’s not the Weser,” sigh'd his barons to their Tsar. 

“The German town of Hamelin with vermin nearly burst -- 

until they hired a piper, an extermination star,

which Roy-G-Biv-garb'd flautist plied his liquidation arts. 

But though a scourge of pests he purged, he pinch'd his patrons' hearts."

Anagrampage: East 'n' Teas, Eats 'n' Seat

Cathay lies east of Camden Town.
Sweet teas they pour lack cream or milk.
The Huangdi there eats bird's nest soup
and governs from a seat of silk.

Birthday

On Ozzy Bartholomew's die natali,
in lieu of ice cream, Becca's serving ice lolly.
If rain threatens, Jason will issue a brolly.
But sunshine's foretold, so to miss would be folly.

Anagrampage: Dribs 'n' Drabs, Bards 'n' Birds

"In dribs and drabs do raindrops fall
to oceans far-flung swell." (Fine words.)
Ad-libs of bards in strains enthrall.
(They're swell when sung as well by birds.) 

Anagrampage: Ocean Canoe

Who'd cruise the ocean blue (would you...?)
could use a crew...and a BIG canoe.

  

More Locales Loca

Fifi LeFleur, known as "Vertigo Faye"
     (step-

daughter by marriage to Ferde Grofé),
     de-

spite the affliction that prompted her name,
     notes 

life atop pillars will garner her fame:

     "So: 

Sim'on Stylites, for thirty-odd years, 

     made a 

pedestal home -- to the cheers of his peers.
     More sty-

lites would follow; all welcom'd the test.
     Thus the 

'polesters' I'll meet...? 10s! (The best never rest!)" 

*   *   *   *   *

     "Just sup-

pose I were chosen Commander-in-chief

     of the 

shed at the head of this barrier reef,"

     fancies 

Perry de Paul, adding, "If so install'd,

     I'll be 

more than fired up; I'll be wholly enthrall'd..."

     "...yes, and 

soak'd to the foreskin, brined up to the eyes,"

     inter-

jects Perry's kin, "as all seven seas rise."

     "Fret ye 

not!" notes de Paul. "My appointment's no whim.

     Plus, each 

atoll inhabitant knows how to swim."

World Egg Tree

     Countless 

kalpas ago, before endless beginnings,

     be-

fore Zou Yan pioneer'd yangings 'n' yinings, 

     be-

fore antique Adams engaged early Eves,

     a great 

tree stood, festoon'd with gajillions of leaves.

     A tree-

mendous tree -- tall, tippee-top to taproot --

     ev'ry 

Fall Eggdrasil bore unusual fruit.

     Its 

trunk would sprout limbs while each limb would sprout branches.

     Each 

branch would sprout twigs in a burst of carte' blanches.

     Each 

twig would sprout leaves, whence was spott'd to drop,

     as each 

season roll'd 'round, a phenomenal crop:

     extra-

ordin'ry kernals encased in white shells.

     (What e-

merges when shells crack...? My doggerel tells.)

     What's this 

tree's hautest harvest...? Which fruitage had legs...?

     None more

primo than cream o' the crop Malcolm Eggs.

     Eggs would

teach; Eggs would preach; Eggs would boldly beseech.

     Eggs -- by

any means necess'ry -- freedom would reach.

     (a work in progress) 

Little Amal (For OCB)

Little Amal, Little Amal.

She's plainly a person; 

she's more than a doll,
and tho' her world and my world 

seem'd oceans apart,
I have since touch'd her hand 

and she's since touch'd my heart. 

Locale Loca; or, Different Spheres For Different Peers

Goody Goose spiels, "It proved balm for my soul

     once I 

took to my heels to keep house in a hole." 

     "Still," in-

sists her twin sister, "that's no place to dwell.

     Mineshafts, 

mostly, are mouldy...and hollows are hell."

     "Oh, the 

nonsense you natter!" states Goody to Sis.

     "Do I 

ever shun tunnels or give mines a miss...?

     This here  

well where I dwell is humidity free,

     plus, the  

people who live here are nice as can be." 

*   *   *   *   *

Nicholas Knopf has determin'd that he

     will be 

fa-a-a-a-ar better off now he lives in a tree.

     Nicky's 

playfellow Jules gives fair warning to him:

     "You shall 

ne'er replace moi when you're stuck on some limb."

     "Au con-

traire, mon young frère," Nick replies to his friend.

     "D'you sup-

pose I'll wax lonesome here...? Heaven forfend!

     This, my 

tree, don't you see, fills the span of the sky.

    With the 

legions herein I'll make friends by 'n' by."*

     *Here are a few of the friends, tree people all,

       who Nicholas anticipates making friends with:

St. David the Dendrite; 

eco-activist Julia Butterfly Hill; 

Kenya’s Njuguna Ng’ang’a;

purple-hair'd granny Shawnee Chasser;  

Collin Fenwick et al from Capote’s The Grass Harp;  

Cosimo di Rondo from Calvino’s The Baron in the Trees: 

Buile Shuibhne from Seamus Heaney’s take on the

medieval Irish tale he calls Sweeney Astray; 

the Galadrim people from Tolkein’s The Lord of the Rings

and Jose Arcadio in Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s

One Hundred Years of Solitude...not to mention

Jack of beanstalk fame.  

*   *   *   *   *

Fifi LeFleur, known as "Vertigo Faye"

     (who's a 

daughter by marriage to Ferde Grofé
     and de-

spite the affliction that prompted her name),
     feels a 

life atop pillars will garner her fame:
     "Did not 

Sim'on Stylites, for thirty-odd years, 
     made a 

pedestal home -- to the cheers of his peers...?
     More sty-

lites soon followed -- all welcomed the test.
     Thus the 

'polesters' I'll meet...? 10s! (The best never rest!)" 

*   *   *   *   *

     "Sup-

pose I were chosen Commander-in-chief

     of the 

shed at the head of this barrier reef,"

     fancies 

Perry de Paul, adding, "If so install'd,

     I'd be 

more than fired up; I'd be tot'lly enthrall'd..."

     "You'll be 

soak'd to the foreskin, brined up to the eyes,"

     inter-

jects's Perry's kin, "as all seven seas rise."

     "Fret ye 

not!" notes de Paul. "My appointment's no whim.

     Plus, each 

atoll inhabitant knows how to swim." 

*   *   *   *   *

     What re-

moval might prove a preeminent boon...?

     Well, the 

Finklemans think 'twould be life on the Moon.

     All their 

earthbound associates put 'em on guard:

     "A de 

lune relocation...? Humongously hard!"

     Oi! But 

Shmuel 'n' Sadie have made up their minds

     since a 

prominent Moon-housing researcher finds

     that "a 

minimal gravity helps one lose weight,

     plus the 

people who people the Moon are first-rate."