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Sunday, June 29, 2025

William Faulkner's The Sound and the Fury Anagramaniacal Opening Lines

Through the fence, between the curling flower spaces... 

...three Harpwig FC wheels (NG) 'n' three-foot Cucu beetles (NG)... 

...two strikers and a goalie from the recently relegated Yorkshire football club and several exceedingly tall insects imported from Amazonia -- and nary a one of 'em any good...

William Shakespeare's Richard III Anagramaniacal Opening Lines

Now is the winter of our discontent...

...wet feet, no oro sun, thin cows in dirt... 

...and my damn back is killin' me.

Saturday, June 28, 2025

Gabriel Garcia Marquez's One Hudred Years of Solitude Anagramaniacal Opening Lines

Many years later, as he faced the firing squad... 

...he -- Mr. Sage, Sr. as Chief Yananda -- quietly farted... 

It was in this role -- that of the charismatic though flatulent tribal leader of the local Yanomamo natives -- which the elderly actor had performed on the West End stage to some critical applause only three months before being convicted and sentenced to death for the kidnapping and murder of El Presidente's only daughter.

Miguel de Cervantes's Don Quixote Anagramaniacal Opening Lines

In a village of La Mancha... 

...Che, an ailing vole, a lama... 

...with only months to live, preached to his fellow lemmings a religion fusing Cuban Marxism with Tibetan spiritual practices...



Robert Louis Stevenson's Treasure Island Anagramaniacal Opening Lines

If sailor tales to sailor tunes...

...fail to start one's isle-air soul... 

...then wtf...?

Richard Llewellyn's How Green Was My Valley Anagramaniacal Opening Lines

I am packing my belongings...

...Ma -- locking penis in gym bag... 

Look the other way, won't you, please, Mother, 'til I'm finished...?

George Orwell's 1984 Anagramaniacal Opening Lines

It was a bright cold day in April...

...what AI call'd "a boy's tiring drip"... 

...just how tiring the drip could become young Winston would  discover all too soon...

Friday, June 27, 2025

Edward Lear's Anagramaniacal Opening Lines

The Scroobious Pip went out one day...

...an' busted (oy! phoo!) its out-worn piece... 

How now will it ever replace that toupee and engender of humiliation surcease...?

Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures Underground Anagramaniacal Opening Lines

Alice was beginning to get...

...to a nice big wan tinsel egg.

"That girl is REALLY starting to bug me," the largest of a nestful of pale (and, until but a moment before, pleasant) foil-festooned oval spheres was heard to remark.

Thursday, June 26, 2025

Leo Tolstoy's Anna Karenina Anagraramaniacal Opening Lines

Happy families are all alike.

If a Kay, a Miller, a Phils, a Peel... 

...though probably not if a Rumplestiltskin von Phuquephace...

Samuel Beckett's Waiting for Godot Anagramaniacal Opening Lines

Nothing to be done

No...? Get into bed, Hon!

Introducing one Baltimoron who's sick and tired of waiting.

Litany Chanted Over Schrödinger's Box

Is he dead yet...? 'Yes' or 'No'...?  All'd 'God Bless!' if 'Yes,' you know.  Is he dead yet...? Don...