Wiffle; or, The Prayer of David N. Mullany

O Deity Who Shapes Our Ends:
reshape this orb so, pitch'd, it bends.

'Twould make our land's, Divine Creator, 

greatest pastime even greater.

     Pair with balls You've thus begat

a lightweight hollow plastic bat.

This double play I pray of You

so dwell I might 'mongst well-to-do. 

From the Archive: Vanity Fair...

Vanity Fair On Yet Another Drumpf Conspiracy Theory 

Conspiracy theories...? No new thing from Drumpf.
They're ever away but a hop, skip 'n' jumpf.
Drumpf's latest...? To do with a world-wide cabal
run by Wall Street 'n' Washington, D.C. -- et al.
Drumpf's 'et al's are Communists Joe 'n' "Hussein":
"Joe nods while "Hussein" calls the shots; it's so-o-o plain."
And (according to Drumpf) this cabal can but widen:
"It's one whose Barack's even worse than its Biden."

OuLiPo Anagram Search

 To French soldat in First World War: 
     "O, Poilu!"
 Lord Zeus gives former love 'what for':
     "Up ol' Io!"

 With senator create rapport:

     "Oui, pol."

 You'll Chef Lou's taro dish adore:

      Poi Lou.

 There may be some beyond these four,

 though I've not thought of any more.

      OuLiPo

A is for A: An Illuminated Alphabet in Verse: Letters K & R

         K is for K:

     

     "I've built a Vitamin!" "That right...?
      So: whatcha gonna call it...?" 

     "Kalloo, kallay! I'll call it 'K.'
      With koin 'twill fill my wallet."

      R is for R:

       Readin.' 'Rightin.' 'Rithmetic: Aren't

      'R's the starts of these...?

       Not true; not true: the final two

       show, first, apostrophes!

A is for A: An Illuminated Alphabet in Verse: Letters L & Q

         L is for L

         

         Chicago's got (as Nome has not)
         an elevated Metro,
         one written 'L.' (I know it well:
         it's 'Loop'y, loud...and retro!)

         Q is for Q

         Intelligence -- i.e., good sense -- 

         one measures using 'Q.'

         Here's all you do: to age times 2 

         add... (I've no clue! Have you...?)

The Punday Funnies: Lt. Joe

Lieutenant Joe: remember him...?*
"You've got to be taught."
I pray for muscles firm 'n' trim:
"O, Gott! To be taut!"

     *Joseph Cable is the character 

       in Rodgers and Hammerstein's 

     "South Pacific" who sings the 

      lyric mentioned above.

Runcibl'd Spooner: Hunter

Drumpf wants Joe's kid 

gagg'd 'n' bound:
"Vermin...? Hunter Biden!"
     Wimsey's valet's 

gone to ground: 
Mervyn Bunter,* hidin.' 

     Moral:

"The prey's afoot."

(Most aptly put.)

     *Bunter is Lord Peter Wimsey's valet 

in a series of novels by Dorothy Sayers.

A is for A: An Illuminated Alphabet in Verse: Letters X, Y & Z

            X is for X:

           

           "If you'd commit some unknown bit 
            to paper doing math,
            just write an 'X,'" advise most techs.
           "Elect no other path."

            Y is for Y:

           When needing space to park thy face,

           but not some place prestigious,

           'tis best to hie thee to the Y,

           tho' y'all be irreligious.

           Z is for Z:

          A doze, a rest, three winks, siest-

         -a, nap, a nod, a trance

          be what's required. In short: I'm tired!

        (At least one Z, perchance...?)

A is for A: An Illuminated Alphabet in Verse: Letters U & T

        T is for T:

     

     Ask'd "True or false: The Skaters' Waltz
     was done by one Waldteufel...?" 
     I'd answer 'T.' ('F,' 'N,' you see,

     or 'B' leave me annoyful.)

     U is for U:

 

     Burmese PM (une homme, non femme),

     their very first: U Nu.

     U Thant...? Not so; nor Goryeo.*

    (A playwright, too: who knew...?)**

          *A Korean dynasty from 918 to 1392 with

           no significant relation to Burma now known 

           as Myanmar.

           **U Nu wrote several plays, among them 

           The Sound of the People Victorious.

A is for A: An Illuminated Alphabet in Verse: Letters V & P

        V is for V:

     There's Wade v. Roe. There's Brown v. Bo-.
     There's Griswold v. Connecticut.
     What's pending...? Me v. Tweedledee
     in re a bouncing check he cut.

               P is for P:

                           

               PE's lead...? 'P'! PC's need...? 'P'!

              'P' kickstarts P&G!

             (Plus, scored in threes, 'P's prompt flutes: "Ple-e-e-ease...

              toot su-per-qui-et-ly!")

Two Imagist Poems

     I'm an Imagist 

I'm wash'd up on the beach. I'm left out in the rain.
I'm placed, enwrapp'd 'n' ribbon'd, 'neath the tree.
I'm, oarless, up the creek. I'm dribbl'd down the drain.
I'm baked, en croute, with figs, into the brie.

     I've terraform'd the Moon. I've reinvented fire.

I've never met a debt I didn't hike. 

I've misspelt 'pantaloon.' I've drain'd the Grimpen Mire.

I'm introducing yet another Reich.

     I've grown a second head. I've join'd the D.A.R.

I've licensed new translations from the Greek.

I've learn'd to print a gun. I'm soon to cross the bar.

I'm something to behold. Here: take a peek!

     Rhymagism 

          (Pace William Carlos Williams)

So: so much

depends

on my rosy red

gamp

to defend against 

damp 

so no white chickens  

end 

as mad as wet 

hens.