The Death of Pun at the Hands of Cliche (from What A's Not For)

Enjoy'd did pun a lengthy run. Alas, pun's dead. (Aloha, pun!)
At last, pun's lost. Cliché? You've won. Below's disclos'd the smoking gun.

AccuPUNcture's fail'd, untried! Its needles in a haystack hide.
Aunt Jemima’s PUNcakes? Through! (One can’t pun cakes 'n' eat ’em, too.)

Ballpoint PUNs have long been out: they’re nothin' to write home about.
Baba's "OPUN, sesame!"? No! Evil! (Speak no...? Hear no...? See no...!) 

ChoPUN's Polannaise? It's null! All work sans play makes Fred'rik dull.
Re: Cap PUN Trade, my plasma boils. Still: to the victors go the spoils.

Doughboy PopPUN Fresh? Nay! Nay! His, twists of fate? Nope: fat! (Ole!)
Deep PUN the Heart of Texas? Toast! (Of what pun's got, pun makes the most.) 

EmPUNada? Nada! Waste! One can't account, Señor, for taste!
What? More 'PUNadas? Issue's moot: "De gustibus est non...dispute!"

Fyodor ChaliaPUN? Dung! He's finished, friends: That fat gal sung!
Those bells 'n' whistles? Blown 'n' rung! (But did he leave with whom he'd brung?) 

The Gall'PUN’ Ghost got up and went. His horse's color? Different.
The Glass PUNagerie got bent. (It vow'd to give up puns for Lent.)

Hot cross PUNs consider spurned. Atrocious browned; godawful burned --
they're hell as far as I'm concerned. (Plus: punnies graved are punnies urned.)

It came: A PUN o' midnight! (Clear? Thank god it puns but once a year.)
Injun ElePUNts? Forgotten! Gain'd be nought if ventured's "nott'en"!

JaPUNese (the beetles)? Losers! Buggers (sic) cannot be choosers.
Judy dumps upon her PUNch. She explicates: "He's out to lunch!"

"Kawa PUNga, Masked Man!"? Fold! All goop that gleams, it seems, ain't gold!
Lily PUNs (the diva)? Mold! New tricks? Ne'er taught to dogs who're old!

Who'll PUNishment let fit the crime with PUNdits stopping on a dime?
Their PUNchbowl's day -- no longer full. Those PUNdits now are full o' bull.

MarziPUN (the sweet)? Too old! Too short! Tout suite! Too oversold!
PUNs 'n' Needles? Possibl-...HOLD! That lot's best left out in the cold!

"Once uPUN a time..."? O'erdone! (Don't times fly when one's having pun?)
OPUN Door (the policy)? No! Cards played right -- but whose casino?

Pots 'n' PUNs? Disadvantageous! Tickled fancies prove outrageous.
50¢-Off Q-PUNs? Bummer! Swallow -- one! -- don't make no summer!*

     * A summer is a mathematician who adds up (say) the savings realized by using
50¢-off Q-puns to purchase budgies or other pet birds...but I digress.

RaPUNzel won't let down her hair...nor air her down. Raps Rap, "'Tain't fair!
That pair's too great a cross to bear...nor am I down with 'Truth or Dare.'"

Saddam's weaPUNs of destruction? "There somewhere..." was Dick's deduction.
Cheney's shocking! Such seduction! Stuck with strategies that suck? Shun!!

Tin PUN Alley? Cheap 'n' cheesy! Note that bridge? That's TapPUNzee, see?
"Up, up, PUN...away!" cries Kent. (All time with Clark proves time well spent.)

Voltaire's PUNgloss: Foolish fella. (Hell's where smiles be your umbrella.)
Wars Of IndePUNdance? Lost. (Who'd burn his bridge before he'd cross'd?)

Sure...eXPUNential growth occurs...if oPUN be one's eyes. (Are yours?)
When "ZooPUN/sandwich" tops a menu, first you slurp the soup, but then, you...