I'm Quick to Quote an Anecdote: A Constrained Alphabet in Rhyme

I'm quick to quote an anecdote. 

With bromides, bro, I'm facile.

Fresh coining is my metier. 

A dictum? Hey! No hassle!

I've ghosted loads of episodes. 

I'm fecund with a fable.

At home with ev'ry gnome,

to hatch a hapax I'm quite able.

My latest insight's out today. 

I live to tell a joke.

And, if it please, my koans tease. 

For legends, I'm yer bloke.

I make up mottos, mold new myths. 

My narratives are peerless.

My omens are...well: ominous. 

With proverbs I am fearless. 

The quip's my game, my claim to fame. 

Romance? My stock in trade.

Which tongue’s my saga? Onondaga! 

Tales? A fusillade! 

I ain't no dunce with utterance.

With verbiage I'm rife. 

Most nits insist my witticisms

prick 'em like a knife.

My axioms? X-rated though they be,

yield "puro d'or." 

The yarns I field yield zingers: 

each one leaves 'em wanting more.

I've epithets and commonplaces,

sayings, apercus.  

I've apophthegms and adages.

(Some aphorisms, too.)  

I'm thick with theses. Mad for maxims.

Saws? Two pecks a day.

But if this gent stays President,

I won't know what to say.