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Monday, October 7, 2019

Rhymes with "Tom O'Nimble, Homonymbol"

     ...Abe
Lincoln...
'A,' blinkin'...
ape-link kin...
hey, Blynkin...?
     (Now, 
what must a linguist like Chomsky be thinkin'...? 
    * Partner in Wynkin/Nod & Associates

     ...be-
lievers...
'B' levers...
Bea'll leave hers...
Beale! Heave furs! 
     More 
issues unbroach'd by Ricardos* or Cleavers...?** 
    * Ricky & Lucy  ** Ward & June

     ...sees the
Sargasso Sea...
seize cigar gas, hose 'C'! 
     (Both would 
go unremark'd, were things left up to me.)

     ...comedy...
comma'd 'D,'...
calm Midi...
Colm...? Meet Dhee!
Each you've examin'd, though few do you see.

     ...a
treaty...
a treed 'E'...
Hut Tree Tea...
Hud, 3-D! 
     In-
telligent...? Nope. Apropos...? Yes, indeedy...!

     ...the
stone-deaf...
the stoned 'F'...
the stone Nef*...
thus toned, eff-______...  
     No 
messages, Hugh...? Why has nobody phoned, Hef...?)
     * The famous Nefertiti limestone bust

     ...the
genome...
the 'G' gnome...
the Jean Home...
thug Gene Holme…
     Four 
exiles! For decades they've not even seen home...

     ...old
age...
holed 'H'...
hold, Daitche! 
Whole day...? Je-_____...
     Each 
savant a jester; each joker a sage...

     ...the
ice axe...
the 'I' sax...
the eye's sacks...
thee, I, zacs... 
     My 
software she -- not once, not twice, but three times -- hacks...!

     ...a
jailhouse...
a 'J' louse...
hutch/alehouse...
Hudge, eh...? (Louse!) 
     Live 
embers one must with one's firefighter's pail douse...

     ...Auntie
Kay...
antique 'K'...
an' teak...? Hey! 
And: decay...
     As do 
Marlowe and Huxley, we note antic hay...

     ...a mo-
tel...
a moat...? Hell! 
'la mode 'L'...
amo d'El _____...
     So...which 
tale will to Curly and Larry Mo tell...?

...diadem...
dyad 'M'...
Dye-A-Dem...
"Die, Haddem!"
Each brings one luck. (Have no truck with no triad 'M'...)

     ...be-
hold: 'N'! 
Bea, holdin'...
bee hole/den...
be whole, Den! 
     Four 
homonym'd phrases (that third one is golden)...

     ...billed: the 
Sky Pilot 'O'...
build the Skype pile o' dough...
     Jammin' 
cats in pajamas scat, "Voh-dee-oh-doh...!"

     ...four
canapes...
for can o' 'P's...
fork Kanna peas...
for Kahn: hope, peace...
     Who'd 
can a man from Pakistan you cannot stand -- but can appease...?

     ...the
"I'll hike 'Q'"...
the jai alai queue...
the aisle I cue...
thee "Heil," Ike...You!! 
     For 
I, like you, don't like haiku, although -- no lie! -- I'd (sigh) like to...

     ...the
hard Hardy 'R'...
the heart-hearty "Arrr-r-r-r-r-r-rrr...!" 
     The 
heart ER's hard at work...? Har-dee-har-har...

     ...shares 
morning recess 
as Cher's mourning Reese Hess! 
     (De ré-
sistance…? She's futile -- 
oui, even pièces…) 

      ...duty
calls....
dude...? 'T' galls...
due: Tea (Gauls'...?)...
dew'd teak halls... 
     These be 
homonyms rude -- but not too rude...Ee-ee-ee-eek! (Balls!) 

      ...Isle of 
'U'...
I'll off Hugh...
Eyloff Ewe...
"Heil!" (a few)... 
     I love 
you...? Best to use these three: 'aisle,' 'huff' 'n' 'hue...'

      ...hel-
lo, VIPS...
(No...?) 
Hell: 'O'/'V' eyepiece... 
     Ring the 
Royal Canadian Mounted Police...!

      ...double 
you...
dub Bull "Hugh"...
double-U..
double hue... 
     Fooled us 
twice, Dubya, did. (Was it much trouble to...?)

      ...the
Second Sex...
the second's 'X'...
thus Hec conn'd Dex...
the secant's hex... 
     The 
dueler's Burr: my cousin dates his second ex. (His second's Tex...) 

      ...though,
why not...?...
thou whine, Ott...
the 'Y' knot...
the Wynotte. 
     Which 
homonym...? You choose. (Just don't serve the wine hot...)

      ...a
zebra...
a Z bra...
ass/zebra...
I seep -- rah! 
     A-
bove, so below. (Just don't go with no libra!)

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