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| "Myrna L'Oyster" (from"Poissons of Interest") Ulysses Poe colored chemical marker on copy paper digitally modified 5" by 5" |
sayin' somethin' dumb."
- Anon from Baltimore
Whilst lab'rin' in the Labyrinth,
I eyed a lad (his head...? A bull’s;
he bore a bull's behind to boot)
whom Ovid "labull'd" Minotaur.
I ask'd, "O Ove, d'yall know at all
some cousins of that Minotaur --
same
heads up top, same tails, same tush,
but one inch tall: the minitaurs…?”
I fail’d to grill that Roman sage
but one inch tall: the minitaurs…?”
I fail’d to grill that Roman sage
if he'd heard tales of other -taurs --
same
tops, same toes, but featherbrain’d
and foolish -- namely, ninnytaurs.
Or if he’d run across rude -taurs
who liv'd
to drop below their tails
their
bully drawers, exposin' butts
for
prudes to view: crude moonotaurs.
Of -taurs I've long read -- lore in logs
from
old sea dogs 'n' fisherfolk
of -taurs
who swim with five-fold fins.
These minimals...? The minnowtaurs.
(Some relatives of minnowtaurs
who navigate the labyrinthine
waters
of the FCC…?
the
well-known Newton Minowtaurs.)
Who sucks on candy-coated bulls
must needs spit out the bullish horns
nor let the tail hairs 'tween her teeth
get stuck: beware the Mentotaur!
Its horns are heavy hydrogen,
while oxygen pervades it hooves.
Its tail...? A carbon-nitrogen
amalgam: meet aminotaur!
Half-bull, half man, half autocrat,
impaling subjects on his horns
and flailin' 'em with tails...and worse:
the mean Idi Aminotaur.
There was a man-of-bull, one Moon,
who claim'd he was the son of God.
He bullocks wed to wide-eyed cows
and call'd his pairin's Moonietaurs.
Part bull, part Zola, part Juarez,
part M. Pasteur, part "Scarface," part
Wang Lung, this -taur took part in many
parts: the famed Paul Munitaur.
Imagine a part-man-part-bull-part-
passerine in Asia loose!
What mimic'd sounds, what mirror'd songs
re"-taur"ted from this mynataur...?
No manbulls fought at Hampton Roads.
None clad in hides; none sportin' horns.
The ships which fought there...? Ironclad.
(The Union's ship's the Monitor.)
Triform'd beasts -- part bull, part man, part
golden-pelted mustang. Centaurs...?
Tritaurs...? Broncotaurs...? Guytaurs...? Nope!
Hi-yo! Palominotaurs!
What you call partly manbull, part Vi-
etnamesian Commie stooge (one
also known as Uncle Ho)
I call the Ho Chi Minhotaur.
From Hellas far España sits,
where bides a beast who battles bulls.
He boasts no tails but those he's shaved
from victims' bums: the matador.
So: won't you be my protege...?
Become a -taurist -- that 'n' more...?
Yes, you shall be my protege.
And I...? I'll be your -taur mentor.
Who sucks on candy-coated bulls
must needs spit out the bullish horns
nor let the tail hairs 'tween her teeth
get stuck: beware the Mentotaur!
Its horns are heavy hydrogen,
while oxygen pervades it hooves.
Its tail...? A carbon-nitrogen
amalgam: meet aminotaur!
Half-bull, half man, half autocrat,
impaling subjects on his horns
and flailin' 'em with tails...and worse:
the mean Idi Aminotaur.
There was a man-of-bull, one Moon,
who claim'd he was the son of God.
He bullocks wed to wide-eyed cows
and call'd his pairin's Moonietaurs.
Part bull, part Zola, part Juarez,
part M. Pasteur, part "Scarface," part
Wang Lung, this -taur took part in many
parts: the famed Paul Munitaur.
Imagine a part-man-part-bull-part-
passerine in Asia loose!
What mimic'd sounds, what mirror'd songs
re"-taur"ted from this mynataur...?
No manbulls fought at Hampton Roads.
None clad in hides; none sportin' horns.
The ships which fought there...? Ironclad.
(The Union's ship's the Monitor.)
Triform'd beasts -- part bull, part man, part
golden-pelted mustang. Centaurs...?
Tritaurs...? Broncotaurs...? Guytaurs...? Nope!
Hi-yo! Palominotaurs!
What you call partly manbull, part Vi-
etnamesian Commie stooge (one
also known as Uncle Ho)
I call the Ho Chi Minhotaur.
From Hellas far España sits,
where bides a beast who battles bulls.
He boasts no tails but those he's shaved
from victims' bums: the matador.
So: won't you be my protege...?
Become a -taurist -- that 'n' more...?
Yes, you shall be my protege.
And I...? I'll be your -taur mentor.
Still taurmenting your offspring, I see. A fun exploration of manbulls and bullshit. One edit: "Vietnamese" (same number of syllables as North Korean) "Commie stooge . . . Ho Chi Minhotaur."
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