The Minotaur and Other -taurs: a metrical mini-tour

"Myrna L'Oyster"
(from"Poissons 
of Interest")
Ulysses Poe
colored chemical 
marker on copy paper
digitally modified
5" by 5"

     "Oh, boy: here goes PapaJim again, 
sayin' somethin' dumb."
                        - Anon from Baltimore
Whilst lab'rin' in the Labyrinth, 
I eyed a lad (his head...? A bull’s; 
he bore a bull's behind to boot) 
whom Ovid "labull'd" Minotaur. 
     
I ask'd, "O Ove, d'yall know at all

some cousins of that Minotaur --

same heads up top, same tails, same tush, 
but one inch tall: the minitaurs…?”

I fail’d to grill that Roman sage

if he'd heard tales of other -taurs --

same tops, same toes, but featherbrain’d

and foolish -- namely, ninnytaurs.

Or if he’d run across rude -taurs

who liv'd to drop below their tails

their bully drawers, exposin' butts

for prudes to view: crude moonotaurs.

Of -taurs I've long read -- lore in logs

from old sea dogs 'n' fisherfolk

of -taurs who swim with five-fold fins.

These minimals...? The minnowtaurs.

(Some relatives of minnowtaurs

who navigate the labyrinthine

waters of the FCC…?

the well-known Newton Minowtaurs.)

Who sucks on candy-coated bulls
must needs spit out the bullish horns
nor let the tail hairs 'tween her teeth
get stuck: beware the Mentotaur!

Its horns are heavy hydrogen,
while oxygen pervades it hooves. 
Its tail...? A carbon-nitrogen
amalgam: meet aminotaur!

Half-bull, half man, half autocrat,
impaling subjects on his horns
and flailin' 'em with tails...and worse:      
the mean Idi Aminotaur.

There was a man-of-bull, one Moon,
who claim'd he was the son of God. 
He bullocks wed to wide-eyed cows
and call'd his pairin's Moonietaurs.

Part bull, part Zola, part Juarez, 
part M. Pasteur, part "Scarface," part 
Wang Lung, this -taur took part in many
parts: the famed Paul Munitaur.

Imagine a part-man-part-bull-part-
passerine in Asia loose!
What mimic'd sounds, what mirror'd songs
re"-taur"ted from this mynataur...?  

No manbulls fought at Hampton Roads.
None clad in hides; none sportin' horns.
The ships which fought there...? Ironclad.
(The Union's ship's the Monitor.)

Triform'd beasts -- part bull, part man, part
golden-pelted mustang. Centaurs...? 
Tritaurs...? Broncotaurs...? Guytaurs...? Nope!
Hi-yo! Palominotaurs!

What you call partly manbull, part Vi-
etnamesian Commie stooge (one
also known as Uncle Ho)
I call the Ho Chi Minhotaur.

From Hellas far España sits,
where bides a beast who battles bulls.
He boasts no tails but those he's shaved
from victims' bums: the matador.

So: won't you be my protege...?
Become a -taurist -- that 'n' more...?
Yes, you shall be my protege.
And I...? I'll be your -taur mentor.