Covidiots' Delight In Seven Fits

Cory caught the COVID.

(He would not wash his hands.)

He cried. (He ached!) His dry skin flaked.

By five he understands:

to last (survive) past five past five,

he'll need to cede his glands.
     Chinese catch the COVID.
The Spanish catch it, too.
Around the globe, folks jaw like Job:
"This frickin' ain't no flu."

     II. 
Cassandra caught the COVID.
(To distance she chose not.)
She gasp'd for air. She lost her hair.
Her plasma would not clot.
We buried her with care -- with myrrh --
within the fam'ly plot.
     Koreans catch the COVID,
as does the New York Jew.
Around the globe, folks jaw like Job:
"The docs ain't got no clue."
     
     III.
Conrad caught the COVID.

(He would not isolate.)

“Funk, that,” he spat. “I’ll don this hat

and make the country great.”

The surgeons said he’ll soon be dead

unless they amputate.
     Caucasians catch the COVID:
can't cats from Katmandu...? 
Around the globe, folks jaw like Job:
"Who spawn'd this...? You know who!"

     IV. 
Candice caught the COVID.

(She would not wear a mask.)

“No way,” shriek'd she, "shall they make me

perform so twee a task.”

Today we’ll tin her ashes in 
this crematory cask.
     Creationists catch COVID.
Darwinians do, too.
Around the globe, folks jaw like Job:
"Just bid your bod adieu."

     V. 
Cosmo caught the COVID.
He heard on Murdoch News:
"You've nowt to fear. Toss out that gear!
Excrete elitists's views!"
Once Cosmo pass'd, schmuck Tucker gass'd
re nitwits' right to choose.
     Chileans catch the COVID;
ditto persons from Peru.
Around the globe, folks jaw like Job:
"Who prays that we pull through...?"

     VI. 
To coves who've caught the COVID:

note caref’lly what’s been done.

Who was it said the guff which led

to ends fa-a-a-a-ar short of fun...?

What's next in line post COVID-19…?

-20…? -21…?
     There's none don't catch the COVID.
(Has COVID devil'd you...?)
Around the globe, folks jaw like Job:

"This frickin' ain't no flu." 

     Coda:

(Once a vaccine is available, a final verse -- 
a coda -- will be composed featuring the 1/3 
of Americans who will boycott vaccination
citing as justification one myth or another.)

Early Portrait of Author at Work

A is for 'A'! Letter I

"I is for 'I'!"

As egos vie,
each gal 'n' guy
feels (s)he's the fly-
est person.
"'The Most'...?"
Well...my 
reposte goes "I!
If not, why ply
this versin'...?"

< A rarity: a pic of me,
le bel esprit N. Smithe-Magee.

A is for 'A'! Letter H

"H is for 'H'!"

     No 
taste, no smell...
nor none can tell
its hue. (Is't yel-
low stuff...?)
As H it's known.
(This table's shown:
the world can't own 
enough.)

A is for 'A'! Letter C

"C is for 'C'!"

  When-

ever youse 
would croon a blues, 
be sure to choose 
a Duke's;
     plus, 
guarantee 
its key's in C -- 
lest earn you stern 
rebukes.

World Heritage Fruit, Vegetable & Cereal Grain Architectural Sites in Verse: The Wheat House

I.
   Comes 
word you've ne'er heard of the house built of 
wheat.
     Pols and 
pundits who have even call it The 
Wheat House.
     Its 
tenant's a liar, a psycho, a 
cheat,
     a mo-
lester of women -- in short, a com-
plete louse.

II.
     He 
herds his "good words" into long-winded 
tweet-
     storms he 
Twitters most morns from the bowels of The 
Wheat House.
     Thrice 
wedded, he's pull'd an espousal "three-
peat,"
     though each 
bride "Blondel" beds proves but one more ef-
fete spouse.

III.
     Yet 
sleepers awake! Patr'ots take to the 
street
     to pro-
test this tycoon -- nay: tyrant -- of The 
Wheat House.
     Him 
(guilty as sin) they'll soon rightly un-
seat --
     less a 
man [plus his kin!] than a now-obso-
lete mouse.

IV. 
     Let's
do it! (A Weatherman's victory
sweet.)
     Ah-h-h-h...but
how...? Must we now this wimp's fam'ly with 
sleet dowse...?
     Or
hang his whole gang -- cronies, kids -- by their
feet...
     ...and dis-
play 'em across the South Lawn of the 
Wheat House...?

(More of "The Wheat House" -- 
including an image -- to come: 
a work in progress.)

A is for 'A'! Letter A

"A is for 'A'!"

   If 
I'd ID, ge-
neric'lly, __(blank)__ 
man, __(blank)__ plan, __(blank)__ can-...,*
     I'd 
jot an 'a.' (Jot 
'the'...? No wa-a-ay!) Don't 
say I can't, young 
man!

     * Possibly referenced is the 
famed palindrome "A man, a plan, 
a canal: Panama!"

A Is For 'A'! Letter D

"D is for 'D'!"

  I 
took the test (I 
tried my best) Ms. 
Teach return'd to-
day.
     What 
did I see...? I'd 
earn'd a 'D'...? I'd 
disagree: an 
'A'!

A Is For 'A'! Letters F & G

"F Is For 'F'!"

     When 
temp's portray'd in 
Centigrade at 
31 de-
grees,
     if 
'F' I write (for 
'Farenheit'), who'd 
not expect to 
freeze...?!

"G Is For 'G'!"

  Though
gravity reads
'1' at sea, in-
side my centri-
fuge
     I 
crank up 'G's (a 
prank!) by threes and 
simulate a 
luge.

Rhombicubocta-...etc.

"Rhombicuboctahedron ABC"

26 faces, 26 letters:

what aren't they good for?!

Tanish dye, Spanish fly: 

in the sky but hardly pie. 

The color of racial

justice...? 

Black Lives madder,

perhaps...?

What's America if not a barrel of bad apples. 

And we know what those do to the good ones.

"Boy, mash me a niblick!"

"Aung San Suu Kyi Sips Lapsang Souchong": 

say that five times, fast!

WHS: The Eiffel Taro

"Eiffel Taro"

   I got 
son'thin' ta 
say, mio 
caro,
     tho' me-
thinks this verse 
stinks -- like stale 
gar roe,
     and this 
rhyme can't vamp 
time 'til to-
morrow.
     List' a-
way, lest your
day end in 
sorrow!
     Who knows 
nil climbs a 
Kiliman-
jaro.

     Don't tempt 
fate! Best to 
wait in the 
far row.
     Why'd shy 
guys have you 
rise up so 
far...? Oh,
     cry not
"Why not...?"! Sigh 
"Bye, Eiffel 
Taro." 

WHS: Magnolia Plantaintion

"Magnolia Plantaintion" 

Here's a destination friend-of-blog KMJ 
and sister-to-friend-of-blog EWK should 
enjoy, having recently emigrated north 
from there to the Land of the Frite.

I confess 
to cessation 
of holidays 
Haitian,
of furloughs 
Croatian, 
sabbaticals 
Thracian.
Ba-na-na-na-
nation...? 
Nah! Now no 
vacationin'
exceptin' in 
Charleston's 
Magnolia 
Plantaintion.

World Heritage Sites revisited: Glast-on-Berry -- a Duallade in Forty Two Septi-syllabl'd Strophes

"Glast-on-Berry Ruins"

   In 
days of 
Good King 
Harry*
     (sing,
"Derry, 
down, down
derry...")
     *That's 
Harry
One: no
hare, he --
     no 
Lily-
Liver'd 
Larry -- ...
     when 
Norman 
yeomen, 
merrie,
     made 
Saxon 
maidens
wary,     
     there 
ran a 
rill rouged
cherry
     which 
wash'd well- 
wooded 
prairie
     whose
trees did
berries 
carry -- 
     one 
lesser 
tribu-
tary
     to
ruby'd
River 
Quarey.
     'Twas
baptized
Beck o'
Berry...
     but
(derry
down, down, 
derry) 
     let 
not my 
telling 
tarry.

     Be-
hind its 
estu-
ary
     lay, 
once, a 
monas-
tery.
     'Twas 
founded
out of 
Kerry --
     from
Kerry's
local
dairy
     (run
strictly
cash 'n' 
carry 
     to 
service
Tipper-
ary) --
     this 
house of 
Glast the 
Hairy --
     the 
former
mercen-
ary
     turn'd
wand'ring
mission-
ary --
     where 
mendi-
cants aged 
sherry
     and,
tho' of
Vikings
chary, 
     thought 
life to
rarely
vary.

     A-
lack! One 
Febru-
ary,
     fate 
lapp'd the
ordi-
nary:
     a 
bout of 
beri-
beri,
     de-
liv'rin' 
punch 'n' 
parry
    ('mongst
symptoms:
dysen-
tery, 
     a 
corro-
lary
scary),
     o'er-
fill'd Glast's 
ceme-
tery,
     jam-
pack'd the 
mortu-
ary
     and 
turn'd life
(derr, down, 
derry)
     ex-
ceeding
dreary...
very!

     But 
whoa! Tall 
tales grow
airy.
     She 
becks -- the
Bedtime
Faerie.
     Still, 
whilst I 
use the 
jerry,
     which,
nights, be
custom-
ary,
    pray
pray a 
hale "Hail, 
Mary..."
     for 
blasted
Glast-on-
Berry!

World Heritage cont'd: Kiwi West

"Kiwi West"

      Readers unfamiliar with the southernmost point buoy resting at the corner of Whitehead and South Streets in Florida's Key West may or may not be interested to learn that this point is not the southernmost in the US.)

Be still, 
my breast!
Here's quell'd 
my quest.
Cool scene -- 
the best! --
lies man-
ifest:
"Formo-
sus est."
(By now 
you've guess'd.)
What...?! Not 
impress'd
with Ki-
wi West...?

World Heritage etc., etc. -- Grapesland

"Grapesland"

Sung (it must be sung) to the tune 
of Chuck Berry's "Memphis, Tennessee" 
(and, ideally, accompanied by Johnny 
Rivers's '57 Stratocaster.)

Help me, Infor-
Maven, to en-
roll each Pinot 
gris...each Shi-
raz, Merlot, each 
noir Pinot -- plus 
each Verdot (Pe-
tit)...! 'Cuz, 
when I'm through, we'll -- 
me 'n' you -- en-
joy a vintage 
spree...inside 
El "Vin" Aros' 
Grapesland, down in 
Memphis, Tennes-
see.

World Heritage and so forth: Pearamids at Giza (Egypt)

"Pearamids at Giza"
by Ulysses Poe
chemical marker and colored pencils
on copy paper, digitally modified
1" by 7/9"

Scorchees 

searchin' 

sere Sa-

haras 

for des-

serts de-

sign'd to 

please a-
ficio-
nados 
of the 
phara'hs
plump for 
Peara-
mids at 
Giza.

Lettuce Not Ptomain You! A Supplication to Establish a National Minimum Wage for the True but Unheralded Salad Bar Workers or The Different Green New Deal

"Colonel Cyclops"
by Big Pig at Hogmalion
silkscreen print
digitally framed
5" by 10"

Rocket (or Arugula), Batavia (or Summer Crisp),

Belgian Endive, Boston, Bibb...plus Dandelions (just a whisp),

Batavia and Butter Lettuce, Curly Endive, Mesclun, Leaf,

Frisée and Iceberg, Little Gems, Radicchio…let me be brief:
too long have salad fixin's slaved behind the scenes. But now we see 'em,
wilted, left bereft of dressing... (Tell me! How'd you like to be 'em...?)
Why can't lettuces today earn living wages – plus per diem! –

when, each leaf in her own way, now plays the Romaine Kaleosseum...?

A Is For A! An Illustrated Alphabet in Verse: Letters J, K & L

Giraffes of sport
break -- fast! -- down court,
the net to get the ball in.
Their standard play...?
The jump shot (J) --
as long as Js keep fallin.'

"I've built a vit-
amin!" "That right...?
So: whatcha gonna call it...?"
"Kalloo, kallay! 
I'll call it 'K.'
With "Koins" 'twill fill my wallet."

Chicago's got
(as Nome has not)
an elevated metro.
It's written 'L.'
(I know it well:
it's Loop looms loud...and retro!)

World Heritage blah, blah, blah...The Taj Mahalmond (Acra)

"Taj Mahalmond"
by Ulysses Poe
chemical marker and colored pencils
on copy paper, digitally modified
1/4" by 1/4"

  Which 
cele-
brated 
sepul-
cher
     might 
please the 
legume 
connois-
seur
     your 
mum's be- 
come...? Just 
muster 
Mom and
     tote 'er 
to the 
Taj Ma-
halmond!

A Is For A! An Illustrated Alphabet in Verse: Letter T

Ask'd "True or false:
'The Skater's Waltz'
was done by one Waldteufel...?",
I'd answer 'T.'* 
('F,' 'N' and 'B'...? 
Those three leave me less joyful.**)

     * Testees are instructed to enter, 
in the box provided, 'T' for 'true,' 'F' for 
'false,' 'B' for 'both' or 'N' for 'neither,' 
'nowt' or 'nertz.' ** Older mss show 
"annoyful" for "less joyful." 

A Is For A! An Illustrated Alphabet in Verse: Letter S

If Hitler's faves
('bout whom Herr raves)
I deign to designate,
I 'S' redact --
'SS,' in fact --
for lugs we love to hate.

A Is For A! An Illustrated Alphabet in Verse: Letter R

Readin,' 'ritin,'
'rithmetic: aren't
'R's the star(t)s of these...?
Not true! Not true!
Those final two
show, first, apostrophes!

A Is For A! An Illustrated Alphabet in Verse: Letter N

If numbers I
would specify --
tho' nothin' too specific --
an 'n' you'd see,
like "...nth degree..."
tho' Ns can be horrific.

A Is For A! An Illustrated Alphabet in Verse: Letter Q

Intelligence -- 
i.e., good sense --
one rates with 'I' plus 'Q.'
Here's all ya do: 
t'your age add 2, 
then... (I've no clue: have you...?)