Repost: Livin' In The U Ass A

 U! ASS! A! U! ASS! A!
The land where fundaments hold sway. 
Take Kansass. Just you "ass" around:
gluteus maximi abound. 

In Texass...? Duffs 'n' fannies...? Very
commonplace -- cf Rick Perry. 
Arkansass's keister count
has "reared" its head: there, backsides mount.

Alasska's buttocks...? Wall-to-wall.
(Those "cheeky" Palins, you recall.) 
Massachusass derrieres...? 
Excessive. (Please: avert your stare.)

Wassconsin's "ass"ets...? More than few.
They've tails. They've tushes. Rear ends, too.
And Tennassee's not far "behind."
There, beaucoup butts 'n' breeches find. 

Nebrasska's bums 'n' bottoms...? Ample.
Haunches, heinies...just a sample. 
Wasshington, Our Nation's Cap:
of prats a veritable frappe. 

To list’ners who “ha-r-r-r-RUMPh!” I’d say:
“Take stock of your petooties, eh...?”
Yes, every day is "Prat"terday
when livin’ in the U Ass A!