No Eggceptions

I love fried eggs, but only with sausages.
I love scrambled eggs only with bacon.
If I spot substitutions or patchwork solutions
come breakfast, you'll witness me shaken.

I love poached eggs, but only with scrapple.

I love boiled eggs, but only with ham.

I shall ne'er brook replacements nor, worse yet, defacements --

and eat no eggs plated with Spam.