Th' Gr't W'rks o' Fict'n; or, Long Stories Short

     Introducing Classics for Dummies 

for dummies -- 100 four-beat cheat sheets 

for the spare-time-challenged.

     Lee's To Kill a Mockingbird:

Hey, Boo. How do!

     Heller's Catch-22:

     Kerouac's On the Road:

     Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings:

     Nabokov's Lolita:

     Salinger's The Catcher in the Rye:

     Rushdie's Midnight's Children:

     Golding's Lord of the Flies:

     Steinbeck's the Grapes of Wrath:

     Orwell's 1984:

     Bronte's Jane Eyre: 

     Woolf's Mrs. Dalloway:

     Forster's A Passage to India:

     Huxley's Brave New World:

     Spark's the Prime of Miss Jean Brodie:

     Bunyon's The Pilgrim's Progress:

A race for grace.

     Lindsay's A Voyage to Arcturus:

Life's bane...? Just pain.

     Anon's A Thousand Nights and One Night

Ending pending.

     Bradbury's The Martian Chronicles:

Don't fuss: they're us.

     Virgil's The Aeneid:

New home...? Try Rome!

     Plato's The Republic: 

We're slaves in caves.

     Mankiewicz's Citizen Kane: 

The thread's his sled.

     Jones's From here to Eternity: 

Prewitt blew it.

     Eco's The Name of the Rose:

Who took that book...?

     Christie's And Then There Were None:

Niggers...? Figgers!

     Herge's Adventures of Tintin:

Her(r Proté)gé (Or, Short reporter)

  

     Anon's Gilgamesh: 

I'll die...? Oh, my!

     Milne's Winnie the Pooh:

No hon', no fun.

     Grahame's The Wind in the Willows:

Toad's cars leave scars.

 

     Aesop's Fables:

Me...? You...? A zoo!

     Milton's Paradise Lost:

The Fall 'n' all.

     Siddhartha's Tripitaka:

You da Buddha.

     The Torah: 
He chooses Jews.

     The Gospels: 
A Jew, though new.

     Homer's Iliad: 
The horse...? Of course.

 

     Tolstoy's War and Peace: 
One's hell...? Do tell!

     Homer's Odyssey: 
Don't roam! Head home!

     Augustine's Confessions:

Saved get...? Not yet.

     Anon's Beowulf:

Men fear fen's mere.

     Dante's The Inferno: 

Satan's waitin.'

 

     Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice: 
One pound ground round.

     Columbus's Diario:

We'd best head west.

     Shakespeare's Hamlet: 
To be...? Let's see...

     Machiavelli's The Prince: 

Id works, you jerks.

     Melville's Moby Dick: 
Big fish spares Ish.

     Twain's Huckleberry Finn: 
A raft...? They laugh'd.

     Thoreau's Walden:

This wood be good.

     Flaubert's Madame Bovary:

Ms. B...? She's me.

 

     Carroll's Alice in Wonderland: 

Rabbit...? Grab it!

     Freud's The Interpretation of Dreams:

Squish, squish...? I wish.

     Proust's In Search of Lost Time: 
Could be her tea.

 

     Joyce's Ulysses: 
Molly's follies.

     Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby: 
More's less, I guess.

     Frank's The Diary of a Young Girl 

Fascist...? Trash ist.

     Achebe's Things Fall Apart:

The fun part's done.