Drumpf Speaks To His Base Introducing His Latest Drumpf-Branded Product, DrumpfEar©, Following 7.13.24; Or, "For...More...Ears!!"

"Achtung, you MAGAmugs! I fear 
I've gain'd a vote but lost an ear.
Friends, countrymen: do lend me yours!
Mine's bloody...plus, I've shat my draw'rs.

     But buy my DrumpfEar©, made of plastic.

Tack it to your own with mastic.

Pink 'n' tone-deaf -- just  like mine -- 

it's yours...for $90.99."

"I'm now crown'd King of Kinky Ears:

Van Gogh, Colbert... that pair are peers,

though I alone raise up my fist.

(Of fisting folk, I top the list.)

     But buy my DrumpfEar©. But you must.

'Twill tell your world 'In Drumpf We Trust.'

It comes in sizes S, M, B(igly).

Big-eared be, like Uncle Wiggley."

"Right-wing ties...? Too red, too long.

Melania says the look's all wrong.

I say true MAGAns wear red ties.

(All do do, who believe my lies.)

     But, meanwhile, buy my DrumpfEar©, do!

(Who's truely true to  Drumpf buys two.)

I want your loot. Plus, chew on this: 

my next assassin might not miss.