Just Say 'Nose' -- the Eyes No Longer Have It

The 23 Prompts

Babar, Banjo, Barrymore, Our Leader, Cyrano, The Dong,

Hope, Kovalyov, The Maid, Mehmet, Pinocchio, Rudolph,

The Tengu, Tony, Tycho, Barbra, Karl, Adrien, The Babe,

Al-Shabazz, Honest Abe, Auda Abu Tayi & Marsh

The 23 Stanzas

Kangas 'n' joeys, kangas 'n' joes;

so, who in the world has the world's biggest nose...?

Ngaio Marsh -- one Queen of Crime: a very big nose.

Heart...? Full kiwi.* Artful...? Oui, oui! Fav'rite of Poe's --

that's Uly, not E. Allan, he of "Quoth...'Nevermo's.'"

* Born in New Zealand

Obscure 'n' expose, obscure 'n' expose;

so, who in the world has the world's biggest nose...?

Honest Abe ("Th' Nose")*...? He has a very big nose --

one of 'n' by 'n' for the people, whites or negroes --

like folks from Upper Grosnez: something sim'lar to those.

* Note that "Th' Nose" is an anagram for "Honest."

Kabukis 'n' Nohs, Kabukis 'n' Nohs:

so, who in the world has the world's biggest nose...?

Barbra Streisand stars as Brice -- and Fanny's big nose

(snout, bill, muzzle, snoot, horn, honker...any of those).

Barb strikes a pose in lots of those old Follies of Flo's.*

*Impressario Ziegfeld

Dextrose 'n' maltose 'n' some other '-ose':

so, who in the world has the world's biggest nose...?

"Babe" (George Herman Ruth)...? He has a very big nose --

homage 'tis to Dimaggio's -- not Vince's but Joe's.

(Whose beak's more burly...? That I surely cannot disclose.)

Ciaos 'n' alohas, goodbyes 'n' hellos:

so, who in the world has the world's biggest nose...?

Al-Shabazz, my grosbeak, has a very big nose.

Immense...? You bet -- as grosbeak etymology shows.

And though it fits, I doubt if it's a label he chose.

Angela Merkle's 'n' Justin Trudeau's:

so, who in the world has the world's biggest nose...?

The Brody known as Adrien...? A very big nose,

which beak he busted. (Rats!) But trust me: that's how it goes,

it's breaks like those that make for psychological lows.

Sunthin' fer nothin,' much less quid pro quos:

so, who in the world has the world's biggest nose...?:

Malden has an extraordinar'ly big nose.

Karl's cast as Streetcar's last (but one) of Blanche DuBois' beaus.

(Some say Karl's nose resembles fledermaus embryos.)

Ringlets 'n' thinglets 'n' buttons 'n' bows:

so, who in the world has the world's biggest nose...?

Whiteside sidekick Banjo has a very big nose.

As limn'd by Jim Durante, Banjo stays. (And he goes.) 

Once Sheldon's mute (or "mummified"...?), Banj -- hat-in-hand -- blows.

Thaw'd 'n' refroze, thaw'd 'n' refroze:

so, who in the world has the world's biggest nose...?

Nikolai's Kovalyov* has a very big nose.

He lost it late one ev'ning in eleventh-hour doze,

but recover'd it days later, back in place, as he rose.

* Gogol's protagonist in his story The Nose.

Aboves 'n' belows, aboves 'n' belows:

so, who in the world has the world's biggest nose...?

The Dong's long Learic song depicts * a very big nose

deploy'd to heal a void plus its concomitant throes.

(She gave the shove to Dong, her love -- so Lear's lyric goes.

* Putting the lie to an idea that a person can't depict another person's nose.

Rescinds 'n' bestows, rescinds 'n' bestows:

so, who in the world has the world's biggest nose...?

Jean de Bunhoff’s Babar has a very big nose. 

It’s long; it's wrinkly...and distinctly mirrors a hose. 

(These nares King Babar shares with sundry sisters and bros.) 

Catches 'n' throws, catches 'n' throws:

so, who in the world has the world's bigget nose...?

Collodi’s faux*, Pinocchio...? A very big nose. 

And when that youngster tells a lie, my, my, how it grows. 

(Although he tries to hide it, it inev’tably shows.) 

* A puppet, a false boy, and ersatz child.

Forwards 'n' fros, forwards 'n' fros:

so, who in the world has the world's biggest nose...?

Cyrano de Bergerac...? Another big nose. 

Rostand’s verse play about him may be render'd in prose.

Cyr celebrates panache, sine qua non of his clothes. 

Incendies 'n' eaus, incendies 'n' eaus:

so, who in the world has the world's biggest nose...?

Nabob reindeer Rudolph...? Also: very big nose.

It functions like a headlamp, proving key when it snows. 

(I’d say it glows, but that's the meme which Autry bestows.) 

Hustlers 'n' 'ho's, hustlers 'n' 'ho's:

so, who in the world has the world's biggest nose...?

Crooner Tony Bennett has a very big nose. 

When someone chose "BananaNose" to slur him, he froze. 

(Still, such a vis might trigger his success, I suppose.) 

Aces 'n' Lowe's, Aces 'n' Lowe's:

so, who in the world has the world's biggest nose...?

“Mehmet Özyürek has a very big nose,”

insists my Guinness Record Book; now everyone knows.

(Plus, Google has a pic which this affliction well shows.)

Poems 'n' prose, poems 'n' prose:

so, who in the world has the world's biggest nose...?

The Maid who sparks that Sixpence Song...? She had a big nose

then gets it snatch'd, detach'd by one of sev'ral black crows

which clip it, snip it off while she stands hanging out clothes.

Columns 'n' rows, columns 'n' rows:

so, who in the world has the world's biggest nose...?

Barrymore's one actor with a very big nose.

As from a fons the spiels of John's flow: John's most verbose.

(What's also true's John's thing for booze turns JB's nose rose.

Unfastens 'n' sews, unfastens 'n' sews:

so, who in the world has the world's biggest nose...?

Tengu bear (who's unaware...?), each one, a big nose,

a long 'n' red bequest ('tis said) of ravens 'n' crows --

most apropos (though 'apropos' ain't voiced 'apropoze').

Fingers 'n' toes, fingers 'n' toes:

so, who in the world has the world's biggest nose...?

Denmark's Tycho Brahe has a very big nose.

One night his view espies a supernova which glows

so brightly it electrifies him down to his toes.

Porc'lets 'n' veaus, porc'lets 'n' veaus:

so, who in the world has the world's biggest nose...?

In Woody's Sleeper film, Our Leader has a big nose.

When nowt survives (thought nose still thrives), some medical pros

are task'd to knit a clone from it. (We know how that goes.)

Deese, dem 'n doze; deese, dem 'n' doze:

so, who in da woild has da woild's biggest nose...?

Auda Abu Tayi has a very big nose.

To Howeitati people "like a river he flows."

(Portray'd by Tony Quinn, he'd doubtless note how it grows.

Alphas 'n' rhos, alphas 'n' rhos:

so, who in the world has the world's biggest nose...?

Crosby cohort Hope...? Bob has a very big nose.

It isn't bobb'd, though...more a blue-square ski slope sans snows.

(D'ya s'pose, perhaps, I should collapse these lines as I close...?)

Th' Gr't W'rks o' Fict'n; or, Long Stories Short

     Introducing Classics for Dummies 

for dummies -- 100 four-beat cheat sheets 

for the spare-time-challenged.

     Lee's To Kill a Mockingbird:

Hey, Boo. How do!

     Heller's Catch-22:

     Kerouac's On the Road:

     Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings:

     Nabokov's Lolita:

     Salinger's The Catcher in the Rye:

     Rushdie's Midnight's Children:

     Golding's Lord of the Flies:

     Steinbeck's the Grapes of Wrath:

     Orwell's 1984:

     Bronte's Jane Eyre: 

     Woolf's Mrs. Dalloway:

     Forster's A Passage to India:

     Huxley's Brave New World:

     Spark's the Prime of Miss Jean Brodie:

     Bunyon's The Pilgrim's Progress:

A race for grace.

     Lindsay's A Voyage to Arcturus:

Life's bane...? Just pain.

     Anon's A Thousand Nights and One Night

Ending pending.

     Bradbury's The Martian Chronicles:

Don't fuss: they're us.

     Virgil's The Aeneid:

New home...? Try Rome!

     Plato's The Republic: 

We're slaves in caves.

     Mankiewicz's Citizen Kane: 

The thread's his sled.

     Jones's From here to Eternity: 

Prewitt blew it.

     Eco's The Name of the Rose:

Who took that book...?

     Christie's And Then There Were None:

Niggers...? Figgers!

     Herge's Adventures of Tintin:

Her(r Proté)gé (Or, Short reporter)

  

     Anon's Gilgamesh: 

I'll die...? Oh, my!

     Milne's Winnie the Pooh:

No hon', no fun.

     Grahame's The Wind in the Willows:

Toad's cars leave scars.

 

     Aesop's Fables:

Me...? You...? A zoo!

     Milton's Paradise Lost:

The Fall 'n' all.

     Siddhartha's Tripitaka:

You da Buddha.

     The Torah: 
He chooses Jews.

     The Gospels: 
A Jew, though new.

     Homer's Iliad: 
The horse...? Of course.

 

     Tolstoy's War and Peace: 
One's hell...? Do tell!

     Homer's Odyssey: 
Don't roam! Head home!

     Augustine's Confessions:

Saved get...? Not yet.

     Anon's Beowulf:

Men fear fen's mere.

     Dante's The Inferno: 

Satan's waitin.'

 

     Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice: 
One pound ground round.

     Columbus's Diario:

We'd best head west.

     Shakespeare's Hamlet: 
To be...? Let's see...

     Machiavelli's The Prince: 

Id works, you jerks.

     Melville's Moby Dick: 
Big fish spares Ish.

     Twain's Huckleberry Finn: 
A raft...? They laugh'd.

     Thoreau's Walden:

This wood be good.

     Flaubert's Madame Bovary:

Ms. B...? She's me.

 

     Carroll's Alice in Wonderland: 

Rabbit...? Grab it!

     Freud's The Interpretation of Dreams:

Squish, squish...? I wish.

     Proust's In Search of Lost Time: 
Could be her tea.

 

     Joyce's Ulysses: 
Molly's follies.

     Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby: 
More's less, I guess.

     Frank's The Diary of a Young Girl 

Fascist...? Trash ist.

     Achebe's Things Fall Apart:

The fun part's done. 

The Anti-hero of a Thousand Facelifts: a Ritmus in Rime

Anti-hero as Verso-Gilgamesh

Anti-hero as Non-Noah

Anti-hero as Opp-Odysseus

Anti-hero as Countra-Arthur

Anti-hero as Anti-Dante

Anti-hero as Con-Don Quixote

Hear Verso-Gilgamesh's cry...?

(This cuss...? No customary guy):

"What deeds to duly dare today...? 

Best beasts to best; first fiends to flay...? 

Perhaps one from 'Da Netherwoild'...

tho' chaps 'n' battle leather’s soil'd.” * 

(Is there one chance in hell he'd say, 

“Tomorrow is another day”...?) 

* Cf Gilgamesh, Part 6.

The forecast calls for major rain:
"...an atmospheric coup-de-main... 

a plu-sunami...” (end of quote). 
“D'ya think we'll need a bigger boat...?” * 
Non-Noah floats his brand-new plan. 
But deluge news o’erwhelms the man. 
He sighs, as skies turn grey from blue, 
“Might not my big umbrella do...?”  

* Anticipating Chief Brody in Jaws.

A hulk who sports a solo eye 

now irks this Herculean Guy. 

The giant scarfs Opp-Ody's friends. 

“it can't be well this saga ends. 

I’ll need a caber with a taper 

to finesse this crazy caper. 

Or, before the dude’s next chew, 

I’ll swipe his specs. That, too, could do.” 

This kin o' kings would be one, too,

so mulls what anti-heroes do 
to get their hands upon a crown: 
“Who'd buckle up best buckles down.” 
Then Counter-Arthur spots a stone 
from which a sword appears to’ve grown. 
“I might extract that from its bed...
or simply get a gat instead.”

An Anti-Dante Alighieri,

disembark'd off Charon's ferry,

tours some eight-plus rings of Hell:

"It's much like Russia's Kola Well." *

He claims he's searching for a girl,

one name o' Beatrice (or Pearl),

but in the end forsakes his spree:

"There's lots more fishes in the sea."

* The bottom of the Kola Superdeep Borehole

is still the deepest artificial point on Earth.

Some read of heroes’ deeds in books,  

of evils no true hero brooks.  

Contra-Don Quixote’s one.  

Romances...? Man, he’s read a ton.  

But Contra-Don takes things too far --  

until, that is, it’s time to spar:  

“Duress...? I guess I best say ‘Whoa!’  

Them giants might be windmills, no...?”