(RS) "Arnstein? Nicky. Aggstein? Ruin..." -Stein Song; or, Much More Than Mugs

Arnstein…? Nicky. Aggstein...? Ruin. 
Bernstein's beer stein...? (Len! What's brewin'...?)
Ben Stein...? Wordsmith. Blitzstein...? Marc. Clan-
destine...? Undercover narc.

Corrieanne Stein...? Monday's dark: she 
shan't sing "Sundays in the Park..." (She 
could sing "Subways..." -- as a lark. Her 
bite's, though, better than her bark.)

Durnstein...? Where'd we disembark...? The 
Deutschland/Danube Pay-'N'-Park.
Ep-...? Yep! Ein-...? Fine! Eckstein...? Billy. 
Eisenstein...? Films far from frilly.

Fein- and Finkle-. Fierstein…? Harv. 
Gertrude Stein. (That gal shan't starve.)
Holstein...? Hole where Schleswigs go. The 
Isaacston & Stein Fish Co.

Songs sung Styne...? A jew'l, he (Jule), 
lionized -- nor not unduly.
SS Koenigstein...? Shipp'd Jews to 
South America. (Old news.) 

Alpine...? Liechten-. Pop Art...? Lichten-. 
Barbra Streisand hadn't click'd when,
post Miss Marmelstein, fame kick'd in.

Mark Steyn...? He's a neocon. 
Nstein...? "Git yer content on!"
Ostein...? Collagen of bone. 
Oystein...? Plays a Sousaphone.

Philistine...? That's Dave's Goliath. 
Q-stein's choppers Matthews flieth.
Ruben-...? Arthur. Silver-...? Shel. 
E Street's Spring-...? (He'd '-steen' it spell.)

Economics...? Veblen, Thor-. 
Utstein...? Heart attacks it's for.
"...Lol V. Stein"...? A Duras novel. 
Wittgen-...? He of "haut to hovel"!

Ludwig's Wald- und Schiller's Wallen-...? 
Can't get up because they've fallen.
X Stein...? Pencils tres deluxe. 
Mel's "Young Franken-...? Bravo, Brooks!

Zwei-...? A freebie from the web. 
(Your "-stein" esteem: so: does it ebb...?)

Beyond the Burgess Bovine (W)

You know the noted Burgess purple cow.
You know the cow of whom one asks, 'How now...?"
You've heard of cows who leapfrog o'er the moon.
But have you ever chow'd down in Cowloon...?

You've heard of fam'lies sheltering black sheep.
You've heard of sheep one counts to fall asleep.
You've read The Lost Sheep Parable full stop.
But have you sail'd the Good Sheep Lollipop...?

Of snakes that part the grass you've heard. You've read
of snakes which Eden's Eve and Adam fled. 
"The snake has all the lines," Jean Kerr's kid said.
But what of Mailer's "...Snakéd and the Dead"...?

That straws can break a camel's back you know.
That camels through a needle's eye can't go.
That camel's, once inside your tent, won't shoo.
But do you know what work a cam'll do...?

You know that fish and visitors will smell.
You know fish out of water feel like hell.
Of fish you've heard: "There's plenty in the sea."
But can you rightly spell 'e-fish-ent-ly'...?

You speak of rats deserting sinking ships.
The phrase 'drown'd rat' has often cross'd your lips.
"You dirty rat," barks Cagney, fist a-clench.
But do you know that 'ratatouille''s French...?

You've heard of pigs who build their house of twigs.
Of bricks as well, when pigs with plans build digs.
A greas'd pig, once, you chased about its sty.
But know you why act pigmies (sic) so shy...?

You've heard of dragon's teeth and dragon's blood.
In China dragons thrived before The Flood.
You know that Puff the Dragon fairy tale.
Still, there you sit, a-dragon on that nail.*

     * A 'coffin nail' (sometimes termed a 'coughin' nail') 
refers to a cigarette (sometimes termed a 'cancer stick') 
which, because it can cause cancer, is thought of as 
a nail for one's coffin. 

Three billy goats dubb'd Gruff -- you know the three.
To get folks' goats proves easy as can be.
And scapegoats -- for your sins! -- go to the mat.
Yet, zygoats (sic) aren't goats: do you know that...?

Who Says Tomatoes? (W)

Yer pimpernel's a flower; yer Tigris is a flower.
Yer April rain's a shower; yer horse what's third's a shower.
Yer minaret's a tower and yer Little Toot's a tower.
I rest me case: this world's a place of pother.
     Yer dirty look's a glower; yer lightning bug's a glower.
Yer quarreler's a rower; yer oarsman is a rower.
Yer leafy nook's a bower and yer Robin Hood's a bower.
I'll not deny I wonder why I bother.

Si Sights Spirits Signing (R)

'Twould seem as though Si Lewen's sighted a ghost.
Si's ghost's signing "...ooh poop...they call me the most..."
as it lathers grape jam onto dampfnudel toast.

'Twould seem as though Si's seen assortments of bogies.
Si's bogiemen sign "Git along little dogies..."
while swallowing (whole!) handfuls (two!) of hot hoagies.

'Twould seem as though Si's also seen him a shade.
Si's shade signs "The Charge Off the Lightning Bug Aide"
while torpedoing Bali Hai's balance of trade.

'Twould seem as though Si's now seen spotting a demon.
Si's demon's seen signing "Zee mann who luff'd weemen"
while toting a boatload of over-sex'd seamen.

'Twould seem as though Si's eyes have spied him a wraith.
Si's wraith soon, while signing "O come all ye faith-..."
slickly segues, mid-phrase, to "A-ma-a-zing graith..."

'Twould seem as though Si's seen surveying a phantom.
Si's phantom's seen signing our National Antom.
(Still, lighter than welter- but ampler than bantam-.) 

'Twould seem as though Si's overseen a chimera,
which sprite Si's eyes sight, signing "Guantanamera,"
seems less Luciano-like, more like Carrera.

'Twould seem like Si's spotted a will-o'-the-wisp,
Si's will-o'-the-wisp, signing "Ol' Mississisp-...,"
signs it strictly in Klingon, avoiding the lisp.

'Twould seem like Si's sighted some St. Elmo's Fire.
Si's St. Elmo's Fire signs "...the widening gyre..."
(Shall such signing anticipate Drumpf? Don't inquire.)

'Twould seem like Si's survey'd some fatui, ignes.
Each fatuus, ignis signs "...Unto death, sig-ness..."
which frightens His Highness (Si terms him "His Hig-ness").

'Twould seem like Si's scanned six or so aarnivalkea,
sev'ral seen signing "The Ride of the Valkyea."
Weird sisters -- and one's a bit of an alchy, huh?

Seemingly, Si's, since, surprised by a spectre.
Si's spectre's seen signing "Who pines for fine nectar?"
(Alert, please, some Braille-reading social director.)

'Twould seem like Si's seeing assemblies of spooks
signing, "Get 'em: yer greens, 'lopes, muskmelons 'n' cukes."
(Those who don't like Si's phantasms? Put up your dukes!)

'Twould seem -- si! -- like Senor Si's seeing a bruja.
Si's bruja's seen signing "...doo-wah doo-wah doo-wah..."
(You've no clue what Si or Duke's on about, do ya...?)

(NW) Word Ladders: All to One, Ship to Port, Former to Latter

ALL>ALE>OLE>ONE

SHIP>CHIP>CHIN>COIN>CORN>PORN>PORT

FORMER>FARMER>FARTER>FASTER>MASTER>MATTER>LATTER

(RS) "Of all the luck! Here's Peter F**k..." The Twelve F**ks

Of all the luck! 
Here's Peter F**k.
I'd ask him, "Wha-a-a-a-zup...?" 
but Pete ain't one to talk.

Men dare not duck 
the Law of F**k.

Alas, it's the gas: 
it's not fast; it's not thick.

Half Jim, half Huck: 
that's Barton F**k.

His film's gone unfathom'd, 
some cineastes think.

To utter, "Things suck 
at U. of F**k!"

may put all your 
scholarship money at risk.

It ain't no duck, 
Umberto's F**ke,

just the darlingest doggie. 
So: what's not to like!

They strum and pluck 
those tunes called 'f**k.'

They inflame. They enrage. 
They perturb. They provoke.

Above the ruck-
us, Brother F**k.

He's a wizkint in Physics. 
(We don't mean the jock.)

Tuck into your tuck, 
but use your f**k.

(If it's pigeon breast, 
best requisition a spork.)

Don't pass da buck! 
Bring in da f**k,

be you R2 da rapper 
or P.U. da skunk.

No jive! No shuck! 
Just Eminem's F**K.

It's useless...unless your skin's 
beige, brown or black.

It's run amok, 
the dotcom F**K.

Its bite: is it better 
or worse than its bark...?

More f**ks...? I'm stuck. 
I ain't no f***k.

Besides, I've arrived 
at a cul de sac.

     Just FYI, the 12 f**ks are 

Fauk, Fick, Fink, Fisk, Flike, folk, 

Fock, fork, funk, FACK, FARK and flack.