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Saturday, May 11, 2019

Pantoum Schematics

These schematics are currently being used  to guide creation of a pantoum celebrating the peanut butter and jelly sandwich (PG&J) -- working title: "Peter Pantoum." (The proposed poesy is now  completed. Scroll up two posts to read it.) 

P
antoum is the name assigned to several poetic forms based on the Malay pantun. The schematic appearing at left indicates relationships existing between the lines of a poem composed in one of the several forms a pantoum may take.

Each square space containing a numeral and a letter represents a line of verse. There are four lines to each stanza. The line's number of words, syllables, its meter and the total number of stanzas may vary with each poem. (There are also some unique treatments of the lines of the final stanza regarding repetition that won't be discussed here in these comments.) 

Each horizontal row represents a stanza of four lines. The form can employ as many stanzas as is necessary to complete the poem. 

In the archetypical poem suggested by the schematic there are four lines in each  stanza, five stanzas in the poem, six different rhymes (indicated by letters a through f), eight different verbatim repeats (2b, 4b, 5c, 6c, 7d, 8d, 9e and 10e), twelve unique lines (indicated by numerals 1 through 12) and twenty total lines.             [4:5:6:8:12:20]

The thin arrows link lines which rhyme; the thicker arrows link lines which are identical. As the schematic indicates, the second line of each stanza is repeated verbatim as the first line of the stanza following, while the fourth line of each stanza is repeated verbatim as the third line of the stanza following. 

The schematic below and to the right shows the different lines of the schematic above shifted one space to the right. The lines which are verbatim repeats share a color. An N notation indicates that this is the first time within the poem that line is heard -- i.e., that it is new. As noted above, there are twelve such lines. An R notation indicates that the line is being heard a second time -- i.e., that it is being repeated. Again as noted above, there are eight such lines.


Thursday, May 9, 2019

Seven (Plus Sev'ral) Asea: Famous Ships (Some Fictional) Set Sail for Storied Ports of Call with an Array of Colorful Characters Aboard -- All Delineated In Verses Always Including a Minimum of Seven Letters Abecedarially Determined

On Attic Jason's Argo, Abner's off to Angkor Wat. 
"I'm so at sea, Ma," argues he. Ma answers, "No, you're not."*  (7)
     * Is Abner in fact Al Capp's Li'l Abner? Is Ma actually Capp's Mammy Yokum? You decide.

The Black Pearl’s bearing's nor' by east. What's Britney's bourn? Big Ben. 
There's been no doubting if she'll dock: the question's been but when.  (7+3)
     * The familiar Miss Spears or some wannabe? Difficult to determine.

Cole cruises 'board the Caine. His port o' call? Rome’s Colosseum. 
Cole credits Christian martyrs. ('Course he'd never choose to be ‘em.)  (7+3)
     * No one would ever consider Porter the martyr type.

Dawn Treader's Captain Drinian's
Dev's former mate -- and mine. 
Dev, sailing to the Duomo, dodges Davy Jones's brine.  (7) 
     * Patel reportedly has long harbored a desire to visit Florence.

Ehrlich's Eigenstrasse, on the eve o' World War II, 
bears Elsa to the Tour Eiffel with Eve 'n' me...et vous?  (7)  
     * In this version of "The Sea Chase," John Wayne's Ehrlich and Lana Turner's Elsa take a detour to Le Tour.

The Flying Dutchman ferries Fats to Lloyd Wright's Fallingwater. 
His wish? To ferry Frank as well. "F**k! Dad's dead," fumes Frank's daughter.  (7+2)
     * Domino or Waller? Either could provide wonderful shipboard entertainment. 

With Gene 'n' Garfield (not the Goose), the Ghost, with Edward G.
(not Gomer*) drops her gangplank at the Guggenheim: Goll-ee-ee!  (7+2)
     * Gene Lockhart, John Garfield and Edward G. Robinson (the latter well-known for his art collecting) all shipped aboard the Ghost in Hollywood's "The Sea Wolf." Garfield Goose and Gomer Pyle didn't.

Hergé's aboard the Henrietta, headin' for the Hague.
How many hogsheads holds her hold? Alas, the number's vague. (7+2)
     * The vessel which ferries Fogg and company across the Atlantic on the last leg of their storied journey around the world.

If I'd intend to stow away, th'Intrepid I'd ignore.
It's port's the inukshuk at Igloolik. I'll stay on shore. (7+3)

Jenny/Juliet's Balcony

Karaboudjan/Khor Virap 

Lollipop/Leaning Tower of Pisa

Mary Deare/Machu Pichu

Nautilus/Notre Dame de Paris

Orca/Old Post Office Pavilion...

Pequod/ Pantheon (Parthenon...

Q-boat/Quansuh al Guhra

Red October/Robie House

Sea Unicorn/Sidney Opera House

Titanic/Taj Mahal

Ulysses/Urquhart Castle

Venture/Versailles

We're Here/Windsor Castle

Xenophon/Xunantunich

Yellow Submarine/Yaxchilan

Zodiac/Ziggurat of Ur

Wednesday, May 8, 2019

Sunshine Boys & Girls Must Come to Dust

Willy* wax'd vehement: “‘Pickle.’ That's funny...
'n' ‘chicken’ 'n' ‘cockroach’ 'n' ‘cupcake.’ They're funny.
Woids wid a K,’ not wid M, not wid L...”
Makes you wonder what Willy would think about ‘knell.’
Or ‘Ivanka’? Thinks Willy ‘Ivanka’ so funny?
Steve Bannon thinks 'Vanka’s “as dumb as a brick.”
Nowadays, ‘brick''s a funny word. (So, Steve, is ‘prick.’)

Makes you wonder if Willy’d think ‘Kushner’ so funny.
Chris Christie thinks Jared's both bitter 'n' sick.
Nowadays, ‘sick’'s a funny word. (So, Chris, is ‘kill’ --
as is 'kin,' 'lock'd up,' 'Newark' 'n’ 'Mockingbird Hill.'
You 'n' Jared are, both of you, critic'lly ill.
Makes you wonder what verdict might bring Uncle Will.)

Take 'Kellyanne Conway': that starts with a K.
How Ms. K rambles on how Hill's emails got hack'd
(now'days, 'hack'd' is a funny word) till she redacts
with black markers 'n' guile -- and alternative facts.
Makes you wonder: might Willy think truth has been jack'd?

What of ‘Huckabee Sanders’? Remarkably funny.
‘Remark’ is a funny word; Sarah’s sure are:
most remarkable, awful…and awf'lly bizarre.
I perceive Sister Sarah as chip off a block.
‘Block’ is funny now’days. Poppa Mike? He's a crock.
'Block,' Mike,' ‘crock’? Funny all. (As is, nowadays, ‘mock.')

     * Uncle Willy Clark, Walter Mathau's cantankerous retired 
vaudevillian in the filmed version of Neil Simon's 
Broadway comedy "The Sunshine Boys."

Tuesday, May 7, 2019

Profiles in Textiles & Textures: Mr. Teabags

"Mr. Teabags"
Chemical marker drawing over array of green teabags 
taped to 16" x 20" canvas

Profiles in Textiles & Textures: Robert Coaster

"Robert Coaster"
Charcoal drawing over gesso'd array of beer mats 
attached to 16" x 20" canvas

Profiles in Textiles & Textures: Material Girls: Sarah Huckabee Sandpaper

"Sarah Huckabee Sandpaper" 
Charcoal pencil and chemical marker on extra-course 
30-grit sandpaper glued to 16" x 20" canvas
Holding this portrait 
of a con artist 
is the artist 
(yes...an old man).


Monday, May 6, 2019

Disambiguation II: Sonny and Cher

See Bono relax on a Macy’s bergere?
That’s Sonny and chair -- not Sonny and Cher.
See Bono perturbing his pom poms with flair?
That’s Sonny and cheer -- not Sonny and Cher.

Marinating is Bono his barbecue fare?
That’s Sonny and char -- not Sonny and Cher.
Who’s Bono’s new partner? (What some people wear!)
That’s Sonny and Charo -- not Sonny and Cher.

Does Bono with infamous Communists pair?
That’s Sonny and Cho -- not Sonny and Cher.
Does Bono do dishes (“Jus’ doin’ my share”)?
That’s Sonny and chore -- not Sonny and Cher.

See Bono breathe Switzerland’s chill Alpine air?
That’s Sonny and Chur -- not Sonny and Cher.
See Bono kiss Charilyn? No love loss there.
That’s Sonny and Cher. Yep, that’s Sonny and Cher.

Drumpfstruck: an ABC for the 2020 Election Cycle

     Intro 
Stille Nacht? Don't breathe a word?
Don't give the game away?
Say nada? Don't tell Uncle?
Keep it under your beret?

Don't let the cat out of the bag?
That stuff is for the birds.
I'm here to say (with no cliché):
I've got a way with words.

     Verses 
I’m quick to quote an anecdote.
With bromides I’m most facile.
"To coin a phrai"? My métier.
A dictum? Hey! No hassle!

I’ve ghosted loads of episodes.
I’m feeble sans a fable.
At home with ev’ry gnome. 
To hatch a hapax? Not unable.

Fresh insights? Yea! Just out today.
I live to tell a joke.
My koans tease. And, if it please,
for legends, I’m your bloke.

I’ll match my mots with any's myth.
My narratives stand peerless.
My omens are…well, 'omen'ous.
With proverbs I’m felt fearless.

To quip’s my game, my claim to fame.
Romance? My stock in trade.
(Which tongue’s my saga? Onondaga.) 
Tales? A fusillade.

I’m no one’s dunce with utterance.
With verbiage I’m rife.
Most nits insist my witticisms
prick ‘em like a knife.

My axioms, x-rated though they be,
yield “puro d’or.”
The yarns I field yield zingers,
leaving rivals on the floor.

     Outro 
I’ve epithets and commonplaces,
sayings, apercus.
I’ve apophthegms and adages.
(Some aphorisms, too.)

I’m thick with theses. Mad for maxims.
Saws? I’ll not say ‘Nay!”
But if this gent stays President,
I’ll not know what to say.

Sunday, May 5, 2019

Just Good or Bad?

Is there just up or down?
Just Haifa or Riyadh?
Just Zionist or Islamist?
Is there just good or bad?

Is there just A or Z?
Just whole shebang or tad?
Just epic verse or doggerel?
Is there just good or bad?

Pacifica or Fox?
Is there just Gwent or Galahad?
Just fake news or the truth well told?
Is there just good or bad?

Is there just First or Second Worlds?
(Have Third World folks been had?)
Is there just wealth or poverty?
Is there just good or bad?

Is there just male or female?
Just Mataji or Dad?
Twixt Yin or Yang there’s no such thang?
Is there just good or bad?

Is there just black or white?
Just moderate or rad?
Just Communist or Neo-con?
Is there just good or bad?

Is there just left or right?
Just fresh-faced frosh or grad?
Just senior cit or teen-age twit?
Is there just good or bad?

Is there just Choice or Right to Life?
Just credos ironclad?
Just shanty or McMansion?
Is there only good or bad?

Is there just atheist or deist,
avant-garde or trad?
Just Catholic or Calvinist?
Is there just good or bad?

Is there just red or blue?
Just eggshell white or plaid?
Just fire, water, earth or air?
Is there just good or bad.

Is there just I or thou?
Is there just sane or mad?
The missing link’s the one who thinks
there’s only good or bad.

Saturday, May 4, 2019

Two Bumbershots

I.

     Sometimes 
brolly names open with 
As, Bs, Cs, Ds.
     Sometimes 
brolly names start off with 
Es, Fs or Gs.
     H gamps…? 
I gamps…? Js, Ks, Ls…? Ms, 
Ns, Os or Ps…?
     Sure…plus 
Qs, Rs, or Ss. (Don’t 
skip Us or Vs.)
     Sometimes 
brolly initials be 
Ys. Sometimes Zs.
     (Why do 
none start with Ws, 
Xs or Ts?)*

2.

     Why do 
parapleurotics ob-
sess about gamps?
     Why are 
gamphopaths haunted by 
dark dews ‘n’ damps?
     Why do 
paraGones groan: "Golly! 
Where be me brolly...?" 
     (Then 
dance their parAgons – when 
zephyrs turn squally...?)


* Here is a list of alternate names for umbrella coupled with the geographical locales and languages in which they may be heard.

Agboorun Yoruba
Ambulera Nyanja
Amburera Shona
Aterkia Basque

Brolly UK
Bumbershoot US

Cador Macedonian
Catr Tajik
Cadur Bulgarian
Chata Bangla, Nepali
Chatari Punjabi
Chatra Gujarati
Chatri Kanada, Marathi
Chhataree Hindi
Chht Khmer

Dackel Luxembourgish
Dallad Somali
Dazdnik Slovak
Deever Mongolian
Destnik Czech
Deznik Slovenian

Elo Malagasy
Esernyo Hungarian

Faamalu Samoan

Gamp UK
Godugu Telugu
Guarda-chuva Portuguese

Hovanavor Armenian
Htee Burmese

Isambulela Xhosa, Zulu

Jumta Latvian

Kasa Japanese
Kaus Hmong
Kisobran Bosnian, Croatian, Serbian
Kol Catir Kyrgyz
Kolga Georgian
Kudayak Sinhala
Kuta Malayalam
Kutai Tamil

Laima Hausa

Malu Hawaiian
Mizala Arabic
Mwavuli Swahili

Nche Anwu Igbo

O Vietnamese
Ombrelle Albanian
Ombrello Italian
Omprela Greek

Paraigua Catalan
Parapli Haitian Creole
Paraplu Dutch, Western Frisian
Parapluie French
Paraply Danish, Norwegian, Swedish  
Parasol Polish
Parasol’ka Ukrainian
Parason Belarusian
Paraguas Galician, Spanish
Payong Cebuano, Filipino, Malay
Payung Indonesian, Javanese, Sudanese
Pluvombrelo Esperanto

Qolsatir Kazakh

Regenshirm German
Regnhlif Icelandic
Rm Thai

Sambreel Afrikaans
Sateenvrjo Finnish
Scath Irish
Sekhele Southern Sotho
Semsiye Azerbaijani, Turkish
Sgailean Scottish Gaelic
Shirem YiddishSidank Kurdish
Sketis Lituanian
Soyabon Uzbek 

T...? 

Umanga Maori
Usan Korean
Umbrela Romanian

Vihmavari Estonian

W...? 

X...? 

Ymbarel Welsh
Yusan Chinese (Simplified)

Zhanit’ila Amharic
Zontik Russian

Wednesday, May 1, 2019

From the Posthumous Papers of Ernst "Thirsty Fritz" Sauckel

99 Jews air their views at the Wall. 99 Jews airing views.
If one with El Youssef gets into a brawl, there'll be 98 Jews airing views at the Wall.

98 Jews left to schmooze at the Wall. 98 Jews dishing schmooze.
If one is unable to borrow a shawl, there'll be 90 plus 7 a-schmooze at the Wall.

90 plus 7 Jews choose at the Wall. 90 plus 7 Jews choose.
If one ceases praying ("This kippah's too small") there'll be 96 Jews left to choose at the Wall. 

96 Jews beltin’ blues at the Wall. 96 Jews beltin’ blues.
If one belts "Baruch!" in a West-Texas drawl, there'll be 95 Jews beltin’ blues at the wall.

95 Jews queue in twos at the Wall. 95 Jews queue in twos.
If one performs stunts with his medicine ball, there’ll be 94 queueing in twos at the Wall.

94 Jews drinking booze at the Wall. 94 Jews drinking booze.
If one departs early for nosh at the mall, there’ll be 93 Jews drinking booze at the Wall.

93 Jews pay their dues at the Wall. 93 Jews paying dues.
If one supports “Two-State” – (“‘twere three parts in Gaul…”) there’ll be 92 Jews paying dues at the Wall.

92 Jews light a fuse at the Wall. 92 Jews light a fuse.
If one sets his bomb off, thus giving his all, there’ll be 91 Jews with a fuse at the Wall.

91 Jews losing shoes at the Wall. 91 Jews losing shoes.
If one, thinking twice, keeps his on after all, there’ll be 90-some Jews doffing shoes at the Wall.

90-some Jews look for loos near the Wall. 90-some Jews search for loos.
If one leaves the quarter to “answer the call,” there’ll be 89 Jews without loos at the Wall.

89 Jews search for clues at the Wall. 89 Jews search for clues.
If one finds a shekel, one minted by Saul, there’ll be 88 Jews with no clues at the Wall.

88 Jews take their cues at the Wall. 88 Jews taking cues.
If one cries, “I am big: the pictures got small,” there’ll be 7-plus-80-odd Jews at the Wall.

Jews – 87! -- wipe ooze from the Wall. Jews – 87! -- wipe ooze.
If one eschews soap, using grain alcohol, there’ll be 86 Jews wiping ooze from the Wall.

86 Jews fasten screws to the Wall. 86 Jews fasten screws.
If one, name of Ringo, hangs portraits of Paul, there’ll be 85 Jews setting screws in the Wall.

85 Jews slaughter gnus at the Wall. 85 Jews slaughter gnus.
Of one, to keep kosher, should shutter his stall, there’ll be 84 Jews killing gnus at the Wall.

84 Jews bare tattoos at the Wall. 84 Jews bare tattoos.
If one wears “Love, Mom” in a heart – and that’s all, there’ll be 83 stark-naked Jews at the Wall.

83 Jews shear their ewes at the Wall. 83 Jews shear their ewes.
If one shaves his sheep a bit close (hear it bawl?), there’ll be 82 Jews shearing ewes at the Wall.

82 Jews hop their brews at the Wall. 82 Jews hopping brews.
If one brews a Ghorka, as brew’d in Nepal, there’ll be 81 Jews hopping brews at the Wall.

81 Jews plot their coups at the Wall. 81 Jews plotting coups.
If one says to Yasser, “You’re takin’ the fall,” there’ll be 80-some Jews plotting coups at the Wall.

80-some Jews recruit crews at the Wall. 80-some Jews recruit crews.
If one cries, “I’m hiring no blokes from Bhopal,” there’ll be 79 Jewish scouts at the Wall.

79 Hebrews cruising the Wall. 79 Hebrews cruise.
If one, though named Abd, finds a date after all, there’ll be 78 Hebrews cruising the Wall.

78 Jews down Dews at the Wall. 78 downing Dews.
If one to club soda’s discovered in thrall, there’ll be 77 Dew’d Jews at the Wall.

77 Jews lose at the Wall. 77 Jews lose.
If one, against all odds, wins big after all, there’ll be 76 Jews who lose at the Wall.

76 Jews plant yews at the Wall. 76 Jews plant yews.
If one plants a pin oak instead – one too tall -- there’ll be 75 sapling yews at the Wall.

75 Jews bring Siouxs to the Wall. 75 Jews bring Siouxs.
If one says, “Chief Smoke won’t, though maybe his squaw’ll,” there’ll be 74 Jews with Siouxs at the Wall.

74 Jews tame shrews at the Wall. 74 Jews tame shrews.
If Shakespeare’s King John one would then overhaul, there’ll be 73 Jew-tamed shrews at the Wall.

73 Jews a-snooze at the Wall. 73 Jews a-snooze.
If one, waken’d rudely, commences to bawl, there’ll be 72 Jews a-snooze at the Wall.

72 Jews cook stews at the Wall. 72 Jews cook stews.
If one adds, not wine, but propylene glycol, there’ll be 71 stew’d Jews strewn ‘round the Wall.

71 Jews hear “Nu…?”s at the Wall. 71 Jews hear “Nu…?”s
If one fears that Yiddish expressions appall, there’ll be 70 Jews hearing “Nu…?”s at the Wall.

70 Jews defame Druze at the Wall. 70 Jews defame Druze.
If one Jew acknowledges, “That’s a foul ball,” there’ll be 69 Jews dissing Druze at the Wall.

69 Jews spit their chews on the Wall. 69 Jews spitting chews.
If one says, “My Beechnut to spew I refuse,” there’ll be 68 Jews spewing chews at the Wall.

68 Jews faking news at the Wall 68 Jews faking news.
If one of them says, “You can’t fight city hall,” 67 fake news Jews there’ll be at the Wall.

60 plus 7 Jews sue near the Wall. 60 plus 7 Jews sue.
If one of them settles (“I hate a long haul”), there’ll be 66 Jews with disputes near the Wall.

66 Jews treading sloughs near the Wall. 66 Jews treading sloughs.
If one of ‘em falls but continues to crawl, there’ll be 65 Jews treading sloughs near the Wall.

65 Jews comb their dos at the Wall. 65 Jews comb their dos.
If one of them opts for a synthetic fall, there’ll be 64 Jews combing dos at the Wall.

64 Jews catch bird flus at the Wall. 64 Jews catching flus.
If one uses vaccine with corn ethanol, there’ll be 63 Jews still with flus at the Wall.

63 Jews sniffing glues at the Wall. 63 Jews sniffing glues.
If one mixes Elmer’s with parasite gall, there’ll be 62 Jews sniffing glues at the Wall.

62 Jews spray-paint hues on the Wall. 62 Jews spraying hues.
If one covers all with a Gainsboro pall, there’ll be 61 Jews spraying hues on the Wall.

61 Jews hail their muse at the Wall. 61 Jews hail their muse.
If one of those muses dismisses the call, there’ll be 60-some muse-hailing Jews at the Wall.

60-some Jews construct pews at the Wall 60-some Jews construct pews.
If one of those Jews hollers, “Prie-dieux for all!”...there’ll be 59 Jews building pews at the Wall.

59 Juif cordon-bleus at the Wall. 59 Juif cordon-bleus.
If one opts to saute cuisine from Nepal, there’ll be 58 Juif cordon-bleus at the Wall.

58 Jews mouthing ‘mu’s at the Wall. 58 Jews mouthing ‘mu’s.
If one mouths a ‘nu’ instead (dreadful miscall!), there’ll be 7-plus-50 Jews  ‘mu’ing the Wall.

50 plus 7 Jews coo towards the Wall. 50 pus 7 Jews coo.
If one of those Jews grabs a last curtain-call, there’ll be 56 Jews cooing “ooh!”s at the Wall.

56 Jews courting Sues at the Wall. 56 Jews courting Sues.
If one of those Jews cries, “Suzette: you’re too tall!” there’ll be 55 Jews courting Sues at the Wall.

55 Jews speaking Wu at the Wall. 55 Jews speaking Wu.
If one of them says, “This is not Montreal!” there’ll be 54 Jews speaking Wu at the Wall.

54 Hebrews call’d Saul scale the Wall. 54 Hebrews call’d Saul.
If one of ‘em changes his name to RuPaul, there’ll be 53 Hebrews call’d Saul on the Wall.

53 Jews roses strew near the Wall. 53 Jews roses strew.
If one of those Jews feels that daisies enthrall, there’ll be 52 Jews left to strew near the Wall.

52 Jews cry, “J’accuse!” at the Wall. 52 Jews cry, “J’accuse!”
If one gets the picture: “This ain’t Montreal,” there’ll be 51 cries of “J’accuse!” at the Wall.

51 Jews sweeping flues near the Wall. 51 Jews sweeping flues.
If one plans a new Franklin stove to install, there’ll be 50 in all Jewish sweeps near the Wall.

Jews – half a hundred! – a-sprawl at the Wall. Jews – half a hundred! – a-sprawl,
which Jews, having fought, in one huge free-for-all, to decide which would win the required wherewithal
to repair wear 'n' tear on their prized Western Wall, put an end to each other. Shalom to 'em all.

Litany Chanted Over Schrödinger's Box

Is he dead yet...? 'Yes' or 'No'...?  All'd 'God Bless!' if 'Yes,' you know.  Is he dead yet...? Don...