Pivot II: Another Vanishingly Improbable Pronouncement from Tom Thrumbpf, Citizen

Person And So On: a Moronic Mnemonic

Admitted: as maladies worsen,

one forgets ev’ry thing, place 'n' person.

We're inform'd stable geniuses can

reap their recall. I’m not such a man.

Not one soldier (I’d guess) in a tuman*

wields such memory -- much less one woman.

Half a mo! My old ex-, name of Tamara,

took a cognitive test once, in camera.

It reveal’d she’d contracted VD!

(You'll not view this on cable TV.)

     * 10,000-person Mongol military unit

"My old ex-,
name of Tamara"
pencil on copy paper,
digitally modified, 
by Ulysses Poe

Asstounding!

     Butt, Montana; The Yucatan's Cheeksen Itza;Crackow, Popoland; 

Biggerta, Cobumbia (not to mention the Pampass of Arsengentina and 

the Outback of Asstralia) are also nominees to asstounding spothood. 

"World's Most Asstounding Spots: Malibooty Breach, Callipygia;
Bethleham, Bunsylfannya; Dallass, Texass & Keister Island"
chemical marker on copy paper, digitally modified,
by Ulysses Poe

Show A Little!

Who pens such patent prattle airs a droll imagination.

Who covets Kim in “Picnic” bares a soulful Madge-ination.

Who chuckles “What, me worry...?” vaunts a gleeful Mad-ination.

Who votes for Drumpf in spite of Drumpf flaunts lethal MAGA-nation.

              Who howls at Hawkeye’s hijinks shows his silly M.A.S.H.-ination.

Who dines on sushi roll’d in seaweed poses maki-nation.

Who welcomes wizards bearing myrrh disports Three-Magi-nation.

Who pre-dawn prayer prefers exhorts a vig'lant Matin'-ation.

              Aristotelia chilensis knows a maqui-nation.

Who ne'er sails west without stout charts sows careful map-ination.

Who Sammy Davis Jr stalks displays Will Mastination.

Who’s nuts for Dallas basketball sprays avid Mav-ination.

             Who screens films 53 feet tall supplies IMAX-ination. 

Who's heard retelling tales -- in Welsh, yet! -- plies the Mabinogion. 

Who dips into “The Prince” wails Machiavellian machination.

D'you not agree: whoe’er he be, he nails 'imagination'…?

"I Must Dress / Mister Suds"
A shenanagram
in colored pencils on illustration board
by Ulysses Poe

Runcibl'd Spooner: Strictly Ballroom

     Aristotle famously observes: "Words are equivocal." 

Ps-Aristotle, reading the runciblosity below, agrees: 

“'Keen Jelly'...? Just a dram one takes 

to lubricate wild Irish wakes."

 

Gene Kelly:

God o' Dance, he sings in the rain.

Keen Jelly:

Gotta dance...? It stings...? Use for pain.

     Moral:

Some feet don't have it;

others have.

All feet, though, now and then,

need salve.

"Feet Possibly Requiring Salve II"
(detail)
colored pencil on illustration board,
digitally modified,
by Ulysses Poe

The Song of an Asylum Seeker

     Nota bene: asylum seekers sing more than one song, e.g.,

"I dreamt I dwelt in marble halls, but woke up in detention.

My new plan is to fly these walls into the Fourth Dimension."

 

I’ll never dwell in Cozumel,
in Lagos or Lahore.
I’ll ne'er call ‘home’ Mumbai or Rome,
nor Seoul or Singapore.
     I’ll rent no flat in Gujarat,
in Lima or Taiwan.
I’ll say, “No way!” to San Jose,
to Delhi and Milan.
     No pied-a-terre in Buenos Air-
es, Bangor or Shanghai.
Shall I break groun' in London town
or Istanbul…? Not I!
     I’ll share no pad in Hyd’rabad.
or Guatemala City.
Sans domicile -- ancestral pile --
I'm homeless...more’s the pity.

"Genuine / Ingenue"
A shenanagram based on Little Buttercup from Gilbert & Sullivan's
"H.M.S. Pinafore," in colored pencils on illustration board,
digitally modified, by Ulysses Poe

Twospoons

Round heels

Pre-Code slang applied to sluts.

Hound reels

Class of films highlighting mutts.

     Moral:

Cavé die kinder canésque les cunts!*

(“Work not with hookers or beasties 

or runts!”  -- ps-W.C. Fields)

     * In Latin with some German and 

a soupçon of French.

"Rhonda Roundheels"
colored pencil on
copy paper
by Ulysses Poe

   

Buster Keaton

A comic (deadpan). Talking…? None!

Custer Beaten

Anomic dead man walking, done!

    

     Moral:

While shy man shoots “The General,”

wild Cheyenne shoots the general.

Pivot: Vanishingly Improbable Pronouncements from Tom Thrumbpf, Citizen

     

N.B.: Several late versions of this episode in the strip, none 

authoritative, replace 'pussy' in panel #2 with 'pinky.'  -- U.P.

Matres Tribus (Three Mothers): Imaginary Biopics in Meter & Rhyme by Ulysses Poe with Images by the Author

Below's deploy'd a trio of socio activists -- all actual or

potential moms -- whom you ought to know a lot more

about. But you will need to research them yourself. In

the meantime, here are three thumbnail portraits -- 

and this reminder: there are many more than three BL

maters. (And plenty of paters, too: cf last line of poem.)

 

Sing out, "How-DEE!" 

to Opal T.,

the well-known Black Lives mater.

Tometi fights

for human rights

as writer, educator,

as agitator, 

organizer...

(More 'bout Opal later.)

Now meet Ali-

cia Garza. She...?

Another Black Lives mater,

who strives to teach

the soul of each

'n' ev'ry woman-hater

to "apogee"

their enmity:

one BLM creator.

One more: Patrisse

Kahn-Cullors, peace-

ful envoy, Black Lives mater --

fine artisan. 

(Me...? I'm a fan.

My cousin wants to date 'er.)

Three Black Lives Matter 

matriarchs.

There protest no "moms" greater.

But ask your housemaid or your waiter:

Harriet...?* A Black Lives mater.

      Ask calypso's Lord Invader:

Fannie Lou...?** A Black Lives mater.

     Ask James Banning, aviator:

Rosa Parks...? A Black Lives mater.

     Ask the Pequod's navigator:

Daisy Bates...? A Black Lives mater.

     Ask your fire pit's excavator:

Dorothy Height...? A Black Lives mater.

     Ask that quiz show moderator:

Diane Nash...? A Black Lives mater.

     Ask each Tot you're sure's a Tater:

S. P. Clark...? A Black Lives mater.

     John R. Lewis...? Advocator,

freedom fighter, Black Lives pater!

     * Harriet Tubman   

     ** Fannie Lou Hamer

     Notes on Opal, Alicia and Patrisse 

When but a second grader, young Opal hops a freighter,

one bound for the equator -- nor do her bros dissuade her.

     Garza's radish grater's deploy'd for Shabbat seder --

all so she need not cater that meal...nor none upbraid her.

     A Marxist incubator, a former Oakland Raider

and honorary 'Gator, Patrisse once plump'd for Nader.

You Bet! And Yet...: a Specious Surrender in 700 Shrugs or How's Such Dreck Still Chief Exec...?

     Whether McSweeney's "Horrors" list of 796 (and counting) so-called "corruptions" is used, or WaPo's lie tally (20,000+ and counting) is employed (and that's not to mention any reliance on Mary Trump's new book), the author will run no risk of running short of material for his new "You Bet/And Yet" iambic pentameter stanzas. 

Does Drumpf ignore his PDBs...? You bet! 
(Can't see the forests or the trees.) And yet...
this factophobe is still the presidet.*

Does Drumpf display unbridled id...? You bet!

He acts out -- like a monster kid. And yet...

this sociopath is still the presidet. 

Claims Drumpf, "Obama's Kenyan-born!"...? You bet!
(Such heresy now's grown forlorn.) And yet...
this heretic is still the presidet.

Does Drumpf fan further birther myth...? You bet!
(If press'd, I guess he'd plead the fi'th.) And yet...
this pantload POTUS still's the presidet.

Employs Drumpf fronts to take his tests...? You bet! 
Nor none those rigg'd results contests. And yet...
this charlatan is still the presidet.

Does Drumpf cry, "Mexicans...? All thugs!"...? You bet! 
Drones Don, "They're bringing sex 'n' drugs." And yet...
this slanderer is still the presidet.

Does Drumpf vow, "I will build a wall!"...? You bet! 
"Plus, Mexico'll stake wherewithall." And yet...
this fake-believer's still the presidet.

Does Drumpf deceive to dodge the draft...? You bet!
(I read that, afterwards, Drumpf laughed.) And yet...
this spurious bone spur's still presidet. 

Does Donald diss his own top docs...? You bet!
He Fauci through indictments mocks. And yet...
this saboteur is still the presidet.

Drones Drumpf, "I am The Chosen One"...? You bet!
(Though Donald's not Jehovah's son.) And yet...
this sophomaniac's still presidet.

Does Drumpf employ the sucker punch...? You bet!
(Still, wimp at heart -- so's Nancy's hunch.) And yet...
this swagger stick is still the presidet.

Are pussies grabb’d by Don de D*…? You bet!

Boasts Drumpf, “The sluts enable me.” And yet…

this s.o.D. remains the presidet.

Does Donald’s White House wax a mess…? You bet!

(Ple-e-ease: pace, Mies*-- seems less is less.) And yet…

this empty vessel's still the presidet.

Are Donald’s tweetstorms for the birds…? You bet!

Asks Drumpf, “What dude has better words.” And yet…

this narcissist persists as presidet.

Dares Drumpf religious values smirch...? You bet!
The GOP's D's megachurch. And yet...
this hypocritter's still the presidet.

Does Putin price each G.I.'s head...? You bet!
Still, nyet is all Shef Drumpf has said. And yet...
this Arnold (Benedict) still's presidet.**

Does Drumpf at golf his partners cheat...? You bet!
Much publicized is his deceit. And yet...
this bogiemeister thrives as presidet.

Does Drumpf admire the Stars 'n' Bars...? You bet!
He just ignores all Jim Crow's scars. And yet...
this South'ner's Comfort's still the presidet.

Does Drumpf dishonor John McCain...? You bet!
(I can't imagine what's Drumpf's gain.) And yet...
this base disgrace is still the presidet.

Does Drumpf draw Megyn Kelly's blood...? You bet!

He wars with women...in the mud. And yet...

this chauvinist is still the presidet.

Does Donald ridicule the Khans...? You bet!

That anti-Muslim bent...? 'Tis Don's. And yet...

this xenophobe is still the presidet.

Does POTUS pose with taco bowls...? You bet!
A ploy to woo Hispanic souls...? And yet...

this foul fanatico still's presidet.

Does Drumpf attack Judge Curiel...? You bet!

Thus Don secures his place in hell. And yet...

this white supremacist still's presidet.

(More horror to come: a work in progress.)

Opticalloozza #1/2: Pickin' the Prolixer POTUS

Which Chicster-in-Chief at 

left is sporting the lengthier 

cravat...? Surprise, surprise!

Both ties (though not both
guys) are exactly the same
length. (Think of this whole
illusion as a kind of Trump
l'oiell. In fact, you might well 
consider the last four years 
in much the same way.)