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Thursday, October 22, 2020

Six Poems on Raymond Queneau's "Exercises in Style": Items in the Abecedarially Ordered Series of Verses in a Variety of Poetic Forms: "Rimes pour Raymond" (from "Exercises in Style: The Poetic Supplement," Numbers 266 -268)

     In one of his classic texts, Queneau displays a hundred prose 
versions of a single tale -- its mundane specifics spelled out in the 
book's opening "Notation" chapter -- versions which might issue 
from any creative author's imagination constrained by the categories 
indicated by the book's chapter titles. In "Rhymes," poetaster Uly Poe 
demonstrates how oodles of poetic expressions can riff on some of 
those same specifics.


     A is for acrostic (here a double acrostic).  

Rush hour! "Yours t." 'board some stuff'd S-line buS
At the back, on the balcony (platform), pack'd tighT.
"You me pousse,'" I hear thin-neck'd Sir Sillyhat saY.
"Moins, moins jostlin'!" (Our bus, truth be told. is quite fulL.)
On the head of this jostlee's a tile of the typE
Now unchic, for, instead of its hatband, I seE,
Dangling over its brim, a string (late off a boX...?).
Quite grotesque, if you really must know. Oui: bizarrE! 
Until now I've not noticed the neck of this passengeR,
Eas'ly as long as a brontazore's (siC).
Now the sardine can empties. All leave, as do I...
Except Jostlee: giraffe one now-vacant seat grabS. 
A short hour or two on, I observe him once morE.
"Ugly job," notes his friend. "Your lapel's such a mesS!"


     H is for haiku.  

Spring! Bus-board buttin';
porkpie'd loon grabs vacant seat:
snip! Button's tailor'd.


     L is for limerick.

     One 
There was a young buck 'board a bus
who, when  bruis'd 'bout his shanks, broach'd a fuss.
Later on, dans Le Cour,
his valet observ'd, "Your
coat's lapel button fixing needs...thus!"

     Two 
Odd Commuter, his personal space
interfered with (his hat...? A disgrace!),
newly vacant seat grabs.
Later on, his friend gabs:
"Let's your overcoat's button replace."


     P is for pantoum.

'Tis mid-day rush. I board an S-line bus.
I'm standing on the platform at the back.
A long-neck'd cove of twenty-some complains:
"Commuters! Must you deal my shins a thwack...?"

I'm standing on the platform at the back.
Monsieur Le Plaindre sports a silly hat.
"Commuters! Must you deal my shins a thwack...?"
Some string sits where his hat band should be at.

Monsieur Le Plaindre sports a silly hat.
His neck's too long; his tone's a sniv'lling drone.
Some string sits where his hat band should be at.
I spot him later; he is not alone.

His neck's too long; his tone's a sniv'lling drone.
A vacant seat...? He makes himself at home.
I spot him later; he is not alone.
He's in discussion, near the Cour de Rome.

A vacant seat...? He makes himself at home.
Then he's away. ('Cross town he must have raced.)
He's in discussion near the Cour de Rome:
"That button on your coat's s-o-o-o poorly placed."


     Q is for quatrain. 

Quatrain For Queneau: An Anagram Poem on "Raymond Queneau"

Raymond Queneau, ye neon aqua drum.
Damn! You 'n' a queer need a -- any! -- quorum.
O Ray! Manque (nude) ran queue Monday.
Mary, Queen o' Duna: mud...? Ne'er on a quay!

Wednesday, October 21, 2020

Moment of Veritasiness Number 718

"I'm gonna count to ten, by which
time if I've heard nothing from You,
I'll take that as a 'yes.'"




The Placozoa Chronicles, Episode 45: The Song of the Gnome

  Protestor
with Wand
 
    Ep. 45: A Z A P O L O C: As a Poloc

Though a gnome not from Warsaw but Nome,
I speak Polish wherever I roam,
nor one damn do I give: 
in my garden I live
az a Poloc, and call garden home.

Nine Noxious Novels -- Including Their Anagrammatic Opening Lines Which Victorian Author Edward Bulwer-Lytton MIGHT Have Written Instead Of The Opening Line He Actually Wrote To Begin His Novel "Paul Clifford": "It Was A Dark And Stormy Night..." -- or What Was It Really Like That Evening...?

     The 24 Letters

A A A A D D G H I I K M N N O R R S S T T T W Y

     The Opening Lines 

Damn! A kittydog saw rats in H.R.
Do it, Ma! Hang Kid WarttyAss, R.N.!
My dart, nigh to a tan'd-raw kiss
Dirty Dr. Gaat...? Santa knows him.
Martians throw Sky Gin at Dad.
No drawing, St. Mark, at thy dais.
Say, "And swig that drink, Mr. Tao!"
Stand making radar toast...? Why...?
My waist sang "'Ard Rd." -- I think.
It was a dark and stormy night.

     The Titles and Synopses

     1 
Big Ol' Ben and Li'l Rin-Tin-Tigger 
by Edward Bulwer-Lytton. The CEO of a firm in The City employs a pest-fighting
duo consisting of one ex-Scotland Yard sniffer dog and one animal of an entirely
new species -- the laboratory created so-called "caninecat," one part feral feline,
one part British bulldog -- to track down and eradicate an infestation of multiple 
nuisances in his Human Resources Dept. As readers will remember, the London
Times best seller began thus: 

     "'Damn! A kittydog saw rats in H.R...'"


     2 
Outlaw Nurse Practitioners of the Old West: a Memoir
by Judge Dory Beane as told to Edward Bulwer-Lytton: Rough frontier justice as meted out to those guilty of healthcare malpractice was often as swift as it ultimately proved capricious -- especially when delivered by those notorious female judges who wielded their gavels for several hot summers in the territories west-north-west of the Pecos. Who can forget the account's shrill opening lines 
voiced by the Hanging Judgess's empathy-challenged son and acting assistant deputy Donald: 
 
     "'Do it, Ma! Hang Kid WarttyAss, R.N.!...'" 


     3 
The Bowler & the Burnoose or Raidin' 'n' Robbin' With Robin of Arabia 
by Edward Bulwer-Lytton: a reimagining of the history of British adventuring in 
the Mideast by relocating it and its Victorian practitioners to a particularly arid neighborhood within Sherwood Forest. Don't all remember how the novel famously opens...?

     "My dart, nigh to a tan'd-raw kiss..."


     4 
Abortion at the North Pole: A Merry Christmas Mystery 
by Edward Bulwer-Lytton, in which an elderly Mr. Kringle abandons his annual toy distribution philanthropy to open "Back-Alley Babies," an entirely new and (for now) perfectly legal clinical enterprise. The work's well-known opening...? 
     
     "Dirty Dr. Gaat...? Santa knows him...."


     5
Red Planet, Green Men & Pink Elephants 
by Edward Bulwer-Lytton, in which fiendish space invaders, employing their deadly Intoxi-Ray, attack Earth women in general and the narrator's alcoholic father in particular. Few can forget the novel's first words:
     
     "Martians throw Sky Gin at Dad..."


     6
The Godspell Strip: A 'Toon of the Christ 
by Edward Bulwer Lytton, in which the Winged Lion of Alexandria, against all the cautionary urgings of his fellow evangelists, elects to spread not The Word but The Doodle. Chapter one begins thus: 

     "'No drawing, St. Mark, at thy dais...'"


     7
Cheers! Legends from a Limehouse Speakeasy 
by Edward Bulwer-Lytton, in which the female narrator, a former madam and gangster's moll, regales her readers with stories of the drinks and the drunks which to this day support her and her aged mother. Reviewers often quote the 
novel's infamous beginning: 

     "'Say, "And swig that drink, Mr. Tao!"'..."


     8
Bunker Buzz: Hitler's Secret Weapon: The Fact & The Fable
by Edward Bulwer-Lytton...    (a work in progress)

     "Stand making radar toast...? Why...?"


     9
Confessions of a Relapsed Lipo-Suction Junkie
by Edward Bulwer-Lytton...   (a work in progress)

     "'My waist sang "'Ard Rd." -- I think...'"

Tuesday, October 20, 2020

Runcibl'd Spooner: Lunique in Munique


Protestor
with
Stick
Im München, post 1911,*
knots of artists -- no fewer than seven** --
to Express'onism furnish leaven:
Der Blaue Reiter
     In New Jersey, a Friedman call'd Milton
plumps for markets, though markets be wiltin.'
(Declares Krugman, "Milt's thinking needs tiltin.'")
The Rahwa' Blighter
      Moral:
An aesthetic braved leads to many spurn'd.

     * To let loose a full range of connotation, 
best read as "post one nine eleven..."
     ** I.e., no fewer that Kandinsky, Jawlensky, von Werefkin,
Marc, Klee, Macke and Münter.

Monday, October 19, 2020

Runcibl'd Spooner: Generations Plus Dueling Self Portraits (Oz & PJ)


 
I'm grandad to 
one mottl'd crew, 
and, though my name's been James,
my real John Q's
the weal I do.
(Hark not to hollow claims!)
PapaJim
     Who'd stillness seek 
down Chesapeake
notes programs on her phone
which make less bleak 
her day, her week. 
(This rube's disorder prone.)
Joppa PIM 
     Moral:
Each Old Line creek's 
got hold o' geeks.

  "Ozzy"
by Ozzy

  "PapaJim"
by PapaJim

ConeyGirl Redux: Still More Supreme Courting Nonsense ala "My Pony Boy" (1909)


 Protestor
with Pata
ConeyGirl. 
ConeyGirl's
lingo's pure Sho-
shone skirl.
Few can make 
wave nor wake
of the suds she spouts.
Why's she shy...? 
Why's she lie...?
It's so-o-o-o hard to tell.
Poppycock...run the clock...(justice-mock...? Faux!)
O ConeyGirl!



ConeyGirl.
ConeyGirl.
Stoppen Sie ba-
loney, girl!

(More "Coney-" coming: a work in progress)

Saturday, October 17, 2020

ConeyGirl Again: More Supreme Courting Nonsense ala "My Pony Boy"

Protestor
with 
Slingshot
ConeyGirl.
ConeyGirl.
Channeling Saint Joan, HeGirl...?
You must hope,
like some Pope, 
to all heathens doom --
with each rule
thinking you’ll 
let thy kingdom come.
Jesus saves. Free the slaves. (Open graves…? Wo-o-oe!)
No, ConeyGirl!

Friday, October 16, 2020

Oh, ConeyGirl: A Supreme Courting Song

 
 Protestor
with Bomb
    (The verses below are to be sung -- 
indeed they must be sung for 
best effect -- to the tune of a 1909 popular song, "My Pony Boy.")

ConeyGirl. 
ConeyGirl.
Drumpf adores you, don' he, girl!
Take some heat,
then a seat on our highest court.
Plan, in sum...?
Just keep mum: you'll be soon confirm'd. 
Antonin-Clarence kin! (Bader Gin-...? No-o-o-o!)
Oh, ConeyGirl!

ConeyGirl.
ConeyGirl.
Now you're Mitch's crony, girl.
Precedents...? 
Founders' bents trump 'em -- so you say.
Wade v Roe...? 
Gotta go, as does ACA.
Lexual. Textual. (Sexual...? Who-o-oa!)
Oh, ConeyGirl.

ConeyGirl.
ConeyGirl.
Dems feel you're a phony, girl.
Immigrants
stand no chance. Long gun bearers thrive.
Peopl'of Praise
damn the gays. Where do you come down...?
COVID flays. World malaise. (End of Days...? Doh!!)
Oh, ConeyGirl.

The Placozoa Chronicles: Episode 44: Viral Vixen


Protestor
with Shield 


     Ep. 44: L O A A P O C Z: Lo: a…a…pocz!

There once dwelt a flu-bearing fox
who, while otherwise heterodox,
spread his virus through town.
When the whole town came down,
I, immune, shouted, “Lo: a…a…pocz!”

Breaking News: This Just In

Protestor 
with Whip

On Friday,
October 16th,
at noon Eastern time,
Vice President Mike Pence
announced the appointment
of the newest member of Trump's
White House Corona Virus Task Force:
Dr. Novak Seene.

Litany Chanted Over Schrödinger's Box

Is he dead yet...? 'Yes' or 'No'...?  All'd 'God Bless!' if 'Yes,' you know.  Is he dead yet...? Don...