Array "Broadsheet Daily" (additional materials: a work in progress)

Imaginary Strip #10 of 12

A Dozen Alternate Takes in Rhyme...

     ...on Puccini & Browning, Evangelist Mark & Swift

 

Pinkerton's hit with paternity suit;

pest-control expert misplaces his flute.

Pregnant young Jewess books Bethlehem inn...

and Lem won't expound on the places he's been.

     ...on Shakespeare & Hart, Dostoyevsky & Hart again

 

"Let bygones be bygones," Othello avers;

she does go to Harlem in jewelry and furs.

F. Karamazov sires nothing but girls...

and she does enjoy crap games with barons and earls.

     ...on Raymond & Khayyam, Trendle/Striker & Austin

 

Emperor Ming Mongo's throne cedes to Flash;

tentmaker Omar writes, "Don't take the cash." 

Tonto rides Silver; the Ranger rides Scout...

and Elizabeth Bennett has fin'lly come out.

 

     ...on Proust & Dickens, Alighieri & Milton

 

"What is that smell...?" asks Marcel -- "I forget";

the children of Dorrit pay off Daddy's debt.

Dante can't find his way out of the wood...

and Lucifer backtracks, embracing the good.

     ...on Melville & de Troyes, Seuss & Seurat

 

Ahab retires after killing the whale;

Lancelot pauses his search for the Grail.
"Does anyone still wear a hat...?" asks the Cat...

and Sundays, gendarmes close the Ile de Grande Jatte. 

      ...on Plato & Stow, Baum & Rabelais

Greek sage thinks truth's best observed from a cave;

Robin Hood, yeoman, gets hung as a knave.

Twister kills Kansas girl shelt'ring at home...

and Pantagruel's merely a feeble French gnome.

     ...on Burton & Mother Goose, Scott et al. & Moore

Sheherazade runs short of tales to relate;

Jack Spratt has put on a great deal of weight.

Ginger and Fred dance to waltzes by Strauss...

and creatures are stirring -- yes, even a mouse!

     ...on Hemingway & Mother Goose, Genesis & Ende

 

Elderly angler lands prize-winning fish;

the spoon can't -- or won't -- run away with the dish.
Abel and Cain disagree but part friends...
and that story we thought never-ending...? It ends.

     ...on Bulwer-Lytton & Genesis, Milne & McCarthy/Buchman

 

Weather that night...? Neither stormy nor dark;

sun comes out -- Noah scraps plans for an ark.

Pooh tutors Piglet on gravity waves...

and, though urged to go wild, Theodora behaves.

     ...on Mankiewicz & Evangelist John, Thurber & the OT

 

Charles Foster Kane runs for POTUS -- and wins;

Jesus refuses to die for your sins.

Wallflower Mitty acknowledges truth...

and Boaz won't wed with the Moabite Ruth.

     ...on Borges & Carroll, Eliot/Conrad and Shakespeare

Funes gets Alzheimer's, moves to a home;

there aren't any raths -- leastwise none you'd call 'mome.'

Tom misquotes Joe: "Mistah Kurtz -- he ain't dead"...

and Will wills his widow his second-worst bed.

     ...on Genesis & HIstory.com, Shakespeare & Dickens

Adam tells Eve, "Not now, Darling -- I'm full";

George Armstrong Custer defeats Sitting Bull.

Macbeth runs away from that scrap with McDuff...

and Scrooge won't become a Noël-loving fluff.

A Half Dozen Alternate Takes in Rhyme...

     ...on Burton & Wodehouse, Ryder Haggard & Shakespeare

 

Woodcutter Baba joins two score of thieves;

Wooster sacks gentleman's gentleman Jeeves.

"She" isn't someone who must be obey'd...

and John Falstaff drinks only pink lemonade.

     ...on Defoe & Zinn, Chaucer & Jackson

Robinson Crusoe goes down with the ship;

Columbus gets seasick so cancels his trip.

Alys, a Bath bride, is giving up men...

and never will Destry ride -- ever again.

     ...on Melville & de Troyes, Seuss & Seurat

 

Ahab retires after killing the whale;

Lancelot pauses his search for the Grail.
"Does anyone still wear a hat...?" asks the Cat...

and Sundays, gendarmes close the Ile de Grande Jatte. 

    ...on Joyce & Proust, Cervantes and Fitzgerald

 

Bloom calls in sick on the 16th of June;

Swann sees his therapist each afternoon.
Quixote's dyslexic -- the Don cannot read...

and Gatsby leaves all to his neighbors in need.

     ...on Shakespeare & Rousseau, Twain & Conan Doyle

 

Hamlet, in monologue: "Credit no ghost";

Marie Antoinette counters, "Let 'em eat toast!"

Huck, in the end, elects not to "light out"...

and Holmes fails to learn what that hound's all about.

     ...on Defoe & Zinn, Homer & Vergil 

Friday and friends devour Robinson C;

Grant gets his clock clean'd by Robert E. Lee.

Odysseus determines to ne'er return home...

and it seems that not ev'ry road leads one to Rome.

Arays: "Broadsheet Daily" (additional materials: a work in progress)

Imaginary Strip #3 of 12

 

QuadriSpoon

fishing lure that's hot to trot : bobber, rarin' ::
ne'er content with graft he's got : robber baron ::
clip cute colleen's locks -- a lot : bob our Erin ::

loot Melania's kid (the twat) : rob her Barron

Arrays: "Broadsheet Daily" (some materials: a work in progress)

 

Masthead

Imaginary Strip #1 of 12

 

Imaginary Strip #11 of 12

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Title Logotype

Imaginary Strip #7 of 12

Arrays: All Weathers

Arrays: All Weathers 

ABC of illustrated climate terms

(related verses also available)

Images of details to come

#2 pencil on copy paper 
glued to foam core

Arrays: Boo! An Illustrated Alphabet of Alarms .

 

Arrays: Boo! An Illustrated Alphabet of Alarms

Images

with rhyming  couplets

(related verses also 

available)

Images of details to come 

Fine-point Pentel on photocopy paper glued to 

foam core

Shown with hands for size reference

Arrays: "When 'Shit' Hits 'Fan'"

Arrays: "When 'Shit' Hits 'Fan'" 

Nine illustrated anagrams 

Chemical marker on photocopy paper 

8½" x 8½" 

Arrays: Adjectival Degrees

Arrays: Adjectival Degrees 

Illustrated wordplay 

Chemical marker on photocopy paper 

8½" x 11"

Arrays: Eggsposures

 

Arrays: Eggsposures

Illustrated egg puns arrayed in a dozen columns and a baker's dozen rows  

Shown adjacent to artist for size reference

Images of detailed views to come 

Chemical markers and colored pencils on photocopy paper taped to foam core

39½" x 59½"

A work in progress