Carpe Diembryo! Another Pair of Eggcentregg Ovaviews: Shegg & Spectacles

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  Shegg, Rattle 'n' Roell

 Gramma swoons while Grampa vomits.
 New recording by the Comets...?
 Yep. (Bill Haley is to blame:
 he craves his quarter hour o' fame.)

 Speggtacles

Carpe Diembryo! A Pair of Eggcentregg Ovaviews: Knock'd Up & Mutiny

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 Knock'd Up

 
 One is 'preggers'; one's 'eggspecting.'
 (Both emotion'lly affecting.)
 One's from circa '48;
 the neggt's a bit more up-to-date.

 Mutiny

 Captain Quegg, a nervous wreck,

 three titmouse eggs as stress balls grips.

 He'll no more haunt the quarterdeck:

 that berry biz* gave Quegg the yips!

     *The infamous incident aboard the Caine   concerning some frozen strawberries.

Runcibl'd Spooner: Bartleby

Melville's tale is good, if odd:
"Bartleby the Scrivener."
Jean Paul's lot...? Grant gifts from God:
Sartre'll be the Brivener.

     *'Briven' in Uganda means 'godgiven.'

Carpe Diembryo! Another Eggcentregg Ovaview: Poeuforations

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Poeuforations

"Hystereggs be my plight," sighs she,
"what with my hystereggtomy."
"Small peanuts! Lookee here," harps he,
"and "Ei"* my appendeggtomy!"

     *'Ei' is German for egg. Here it puns the English verb eye meaning to look at closely.

Carpe Diembryo! Five Eggcentregg Ovaviews: Coeufew & Other RoeMantics

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ShadRoek, Meeshegg & Abedneggo

How d'ya like your eggs prepar'd...?

With a side of hash browns pair'd...?

Poach'd, fried, soft-boil'd...? Don't concern us.

Roast 'em in a fiery furnace!

  Coeufew

 
  Kanamuna* runs through town
  in their** Valentino gown:
  "Tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock...
  All is well; 'tis egg o'clock."

       *Egg in Finnish   **Preferred pronoun

 Moeufy's Law

 
 To Murphy's Law a corollary,
 Moeufy's Law is cautionary:
 "Place an egg atop your toilet...?
 Break it must before you boil it."

 The Lay of the Egg

 
 Agges aggo, on a planet call'd Oeuf
 (it now enjoys soeuf circumscribing its toeuf),
 there was only an ovoid instead of a ball,
 with a hard-boil'd eggquator encircling it all.

 Touloeuf Lautregg 

 He blossom'd 'n' thrived

 in the rude Place Pigalle.

 (For a Jacques Blanc* so-o-o-o pocket-sized...

 ...pas mal, pas mal!)

     *Equivalent in France to 'John Doe.'

Ozzymoron

Does prosper Roger Federer...?
In sev'ral ways does Roger err.
Of Roger, few be fonder; er-
-go (though I'm not a slanderer)
my stand's he's a philanderer.
     Still, Roger's wife calls Federer her
scrappy Happy Wanderer -- her

ur-irrev'rent metaphor for
panderer Herr Federer. 

     So, though the man's no Mel Ferrer,*

to whom I worry to refer, 

remains he Roger Federer.

     * Married five times

Carpe Diembryo! A Half Dozen Eggcentregg Ovaviews (Clutch Seggs)

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    The Winnebeggo

    In Navaho it means "Great-Egg-
    Which-Transports-White-Man's-Kin."

    Its window screen displays decals

    which boast of where it's been.

The Woeuffleball

This alter'd ball you strive to hit.
You strike; you swipe. You slap; you swat.
But do you e'er connect with it...?
No, you do not. No, you do not.

 

Caviar Xugat

As light-brown as a Cuban claro,
Señor Xugat married Charo.
Wedded, too, to Abbe Lane,
his tango -- last -- he danced in Spain.

Gegger Counter

If the egg comes from a chicken,
"..tick, tick, tick..." the counter's clickin.'
If the egg comes from a duck,
the counter clicks, "cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck..."

WEinfrey & WEight

Harpo's Ovah...? 

Pegg in clova.

Hair...? Begg! Bucks...? Begg!

(Begg all ova.)

 

   Poachise

   "How!" ("...d'ya like yer eggs,") asks he.

   Which side up...? The side that's sunny...?

   Soft-boil'd...? Minutes two...? Or three...?

   And should yer yolks be hard or runny...?"

Carpe Diembryo! Another Dozen Eggcentregg Ovaviews (Clutch Five)

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Seggreggation

The enemy 

we've met: it's us:

"Ya'll mova 

to de begga de bus!"

Peggasso

Pablo P's pro-pulchritude;

he fancies female coeufves.

But when the game's to limn those same,

soft coeufves get on his noeufves.

Ieggo

"Who' lurks behind Othello...?"

"Ieggo. He's the fellow."

"And who pursues Ieggo...?"

"That's Sheggspeare."

                           "Grazie."

                                         "Preggo."

The Seggway

Move (piece o' quiche) from here to there --

unless you reach a loefty stair...

...or wind up high upon a roeuf...

...or seaside (they're not waterproeuf).

      

  Non Segguitur
     

  If B, then Egg.
  B; erggo Egg.

  (This case, though,

  does one question begg.)

  Eggsit Strateggy

 Though eggs may run (!) 

  they cannot hide.

  (More erggument 

  for ovacide...?)

         

Hollandaise

"Good morning, hard egg,"

bellows Billie --

ever mellow, 

never shrilly.

           \

"Vivos Huevos!"

 Chegg Huevora, 

 Fidelista,

 proves a '60s

 fashionista.

The Fowls

Veggrant fowls;

infreggrant fowls;

fleggrant fowls;

maleggrant fowls.

 The Queggmire 

 Bypass the queggsand and fend off the marsh.

 Fend off the fen as well; fens can prove harsh.

 Sidestep the swamp, with its mud and its loam.

 Beowoeuf...? Pray to Thor Grendel's not home. 

     

 Torneggo Watch

 "It's a twister! Head for shelter!"

 Gulch recalls the Wicked Witch:

 pails of water tend to melt her.

 ("Oz" makes even Toto rich.)

 Eggs-acto Knife

"I'd rather half an egg 

than none:

a half a hard-boil'd egg

won't run."

Carpe Diembryo! Another Dozen Eggcentregg Ovaviews (Clutch Four)

More from Mme L'Egghorn.

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 The Dualitease

 Behold thee here 

 a pair of Queggers.

 Next door, salt

 and pepper sheggers.

 

 The Peggmies 

 These small dark eggs...? 

 The White Eggs' Burden.

 (Rudyard Kipling this 

 concurr'd in.)

     

The Misteggen Identity 

So-call'd "egght balls" 

(this one's magic)

aren't demersal

or pelagic.

  Degg-Glo 

  Each its own
  disteggtive chroema --
  much of which can
  cause glaucoma.

 The Tuareggs

 
"Who'd saunter
 sere Sahara's odd,"
 sneers Arab snitch
 Scheherazade.

 

Yolko Ovo 

When Paul rejeggted
her demand,
she form'd her
Plastic Ovo Band.

                         

Yakoeuf

"Privet!" say 
to Comrade Smirnoeuff.
(Hope his eggcent
ain't a turnoeuf.

     The Strip 

    Recall, who'd ditch

    some sticky fracas:
   "Lay'd in Veggas...? 
    Stay'd in Veggas."

  Eggne

  Bearing shells 
  abloom with zits...?
  Systemic blemishes 
  cause fits.

  Hood 

   A Shoeuff of Notting-...?
   A side order (-ham)...?
   A fresh flight of ar'roe's...?
   'Tis Roebin: hot damn!

    Megg  

 

    Jegger, Megg,
    a Roelling Stone,
    prefers Grade B.
    (To each his own.)

      By Georges 

   

      Paris's M. Peregg* lives
      to lipograms compose.

      He terms one tome An Ovoid.

      (Although lacking 'e's, it flows.)

      *Oulipio's Perec writes a lipogrammatic 

       novel called in English A Void.

Carpe Diembryo! Another Dozen Eggcentregg Ovaviews (Clutch Three)

   A further grass-fed dozen.
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 Lay'd Egg Haggah 

 Superb duets with Tony Bennett 
 seem'd a leading Haggah tenet --
 plus, she sung 'em like she me'n' it.
 (Next...? Her bid for U.S. Senate...?)

  The Oeufs

   One sports hair of astroturf;

   one resembles Bennett Cerf;

   one could pass for Grouchy Smurf:

   Virgil, Morgan, Wyatt Oeuf.

  The Shirr'd Deggree

   Charged with murder in the second,

   perp's intention must be reckon'd.

   To discern his motivation

   launch enhanced interreggation!

  The Ovaries 

 

  This oeufabet's an alphabet,
  each plate an ovary.
  The last plate shows Ovary Z,*

  a fresh "disc-overy."

 

  *Not to be confused with 'over easy."

   Nosferoetu 

  

  Boeuffy works
  as vampire's layer.

  (Dreggula's her

  egg perveyor.)

Yolks

This 'weggen's 
custom built for 'volk.'

It gets 200 

miles-per-yolk.

 The Eggermans 

    

  In "A Little Night Musegg"
  the Eggermans sing:
  "♪ Now..." "♫ Soon..." and "♪ Later..."
  (Each does each's thing.)

     Los Huevos 

  

      Few people reggcognize

      gravity waves,
      whereas gravity huevos 
      prompt breakfast-nook raves.

    Grade A 

  

     I'm a fan 

     o' Gail O'Grade A
     since her "NYPD" 
     heyday.

    The Plegggue 

 

     Who lets pleggue 
     advance uncheck'd...?

     (If you think Drumpf does,

     you're correct.)

     Peggos Bill

 

     Teggs O'Reilly
     proves it's true:
     Peggos Bill loves

     Sloeufoot Soeu.'

     Cregg (1951-2016) 

       So long, Segger!
       Rest in peace!
       Your scrambl'd sportcoats...?
       Golden fleece.