A is for A: An illuminated Alphabet in Verse: Letters B & A

        B is for B:

     

     For 'semisphere of lead' (one mere-
     ly micrometers wide) --
     I'd pen a 'B.' (Half-BB, si...? --
     though Bs ain't bonafide.)

     A is for A:

     If I'd I.D. generic'lly

     one man, one can-, one plan...,

     I'd jot an 'A.' (Jot 'the'...? No way!)

     Don't say I can't: I can!

A is for A: An Illuminated Alphabet in Verse: Letters C & D

           C is for C:

       

       Whenever youse would croon a blues,
      'tis best to choose a Duke's.
       Make sure the key you note is 'C' --
       lest earn you stern rebukes.

       D is for D: 

       

       I took the test (I did my best)
       Herr Teach return'd today.
       What did I see...? I've earn'd a D...?
       I disagree: an A!!

Toothache Tally

I 

won-
-der how many days a sore

tooth re-
-mains bearable be-
-fore 
I should begin to worry i-
-f I've 
waited too long to visit the dentist.

A is for A: An Illuminated Alphabet in Verse: Letters H & G

       H is for H:

    

    

    No taste; no smell...nor can one tell
    the color of this stuff. 

    As H it's known; this table's shown
    the world can't have enough.

    G is for G:

    

    

    Though gravity reads '1' at sea

    inside my centrifuge,

    I'll crank up 'G's (a prank!) by threes

    and emulate a luge.

MAGA 2024 Campaign Song #1 (Sung to the Tune of "I Want a Girl Just Like the Girl that Married Dear Old Dad")

We-e-e-e 
want a dic-
-tatohead just 

like the dick
who slew six million Jews.
We-e-e-e
need a prick,
one who'd 

interdict
the people's right to choose.

A tyrant -- 

Putin/Hitler/

Franco-style -- 

a guy who'd 

rape your sister...

with a smile.

We-e-e-e

want this dic-

tatohead, al-

tho' he's sick.

Hey! What have we to lose...? 

Wiffle; or, The Prayer of David N. Mullany

O Deity Who Shapes Our Ends:
reshape this orb so, pitch'd, it bends.

'Twould make our land's, Divine Creator, 

greatest pastime even greater.

     Pair with balls You've thus begat

a lightweight hollow plastic bat.

This double play I pray of You

so dwell I might 'mongst well-to-do. 

From the Archive: Vanity Fair...

Vanity Fair On Yet Another Drumpf Conspiracy Theory 

Conspiracy theories...? No new thing from Drumpf.
They're ever away but a hop, skip 'n' jumpf.
Drumpf's latest...? To do with a world-wide cabal
run by Wall Street 'n' Washington, D.C. -- et al.
Drumpf's 'et al's are Communists Joe 'n' "Hussein":
"Joe nods while "Hussein" calls the shots; it's so-o-o plain."
And (according to Drumpf) this cabal can but widen:
"It's one whose Barack's even worse than its Biden."

OuLiPo Anagram Search

 To French soldat in First World War: 
     "O, Poilu!"
 Lord Zeus gives former love 'what for':
     "Up ol' Io!"

 With senator create rapport:

     "Oui, pol."

 You'll Chef Lou's taro dish adore:

      Poi Lou.

 There may be some beyond these four,

 though I've not thought of any more.

      OuLiPo

A is for A: An Illuminated Alphabet in Verse: Letters K & R

         K is for K:

     

     "I've built a Vitamin!" "That right...?
      So: whatcha gonna call it...?" 

     "Kalloo, kallay! I'll call it 'K.'
      With koin 'twill fill my wallet."

      R is for R:

       Readin.' 'Rightin.' 'Rithmetic: Aren't

      'R's the starts of these...?

       Not true; not true: the final two

       show, first, apostrophes!

A is for A: An Illuminated Alphabet in Verse: Letters L & Q

         L is for L

         

         Chicago's got (as Nome has not)
         an elevated Metro,
         one written 'L.' (I know it well:
         it's 'Loop'y, loud...and retro!)

         Q is for Q

         Intelligence -- i.e., good sense -- 

         one measures using 'Q.'

         Here's all you do: to age times 2 

         add... (I've no clue! Have you...?)

The Punday Funnies: Lt. Joe

Lieutenant Joe: remember him...?*
"You've got to be taught."
I pray for muscles firm 'n' trim:
"O, Gott! To be taut!"

     *Joseph Cable is the character 

       in Rodgers and Hammerstein's 

     "South Pacific" who sings the 

      lyric mentioned above.