Constrained Celebrities

  
[AZ: Absolute Zero, Alexis Zorba]

     "Absolute Zero's one

get-go,* albeit a

bleak..."  

              specs A-

lexis, who's married, with  

children, and swears, "Hey! I'm  

Greek.   

     * I.e., a get-go not unlike the Great Get-Go,

not to be confused with the Big Bang.



[BY: Be Yourself, Boris Yeltsin]

     "Be Your-

self! (HO* whom else would you

be?" asks (rhetoric'lly)  

Boris...  

            "To be

somebody else might cause

Mother** some serious   

tsoris."

     * Russian Cyrillics for 'but' and pronounced

(roughly) 'noh.'  ** I.e., Mother Russia, of course.



[CX: Contemn Xenophobes, Cugat, Xavier]

     "Con-

temn Xenophobes! Contemn..."

Rhumba King Cugat re-

peats...  

            (Just as  

he would be treated, each  

stranger this vir bonus*

treats.)  

     * What the good man does is always right –

or so somewhere suggest the Brothers Grimm.



[DW: Do Without, Dionne Warwick]

     "Do With-

out! Pledge thy pounds to the  

poor," warbles Dionne (the  

song bird)...  

                    though it's 

Bacharach (Burt) who'll at 

last teach her right word from

wrong word.  



[EV: Every Valley, Edward Villella]

     "’Every 

valley exhaulted shall  

be; every rough place made  

plain...’:   

             I shall  

dance thee that text," Edward  

vows, "in a Balanchine  

vein."  



[FU: Fed Up, Felix Unger]

     "Fed

Up! UFOs, UR-

Ls, UXBs..." fumes our

Felix...

           "In the

end, all they yield is some

abecedarial 

helix." 



[GT: Gin (&) Tonic, Gene Tunney/Tierney]

     "Gin and

Tonic and juice of one 

lime: pour the lot over 

ice..." 

     prescribes   

Gene.* "Good advice," echoes

Gene.** "An innocuous

vice!" 

     * Actress Tierney  ** Pugilist Tunney



[HS: He (vs) She, Holly Sweet]

     "He v.

She? The distinction's am-

biguous," challenges

Holly... 

            "So he's

Shlomo. But what's in a  

name? 'So long, Sol; hello, 

Dolly.'" 



[IR: I, Robot, Irene Ryan]

     "I, 

Robot, rest my

case," in tones Rum-

polean...

              roars I-

rene. "I'd rap it,

were I Rock 'n'   

Rollean." 



[JQ: John Quincey, Jose Quintero]

     "John

Quincey ain't the 

seventh Chief 

Exec," corrects Jo-

se...

     "He's number 

six, post James Mon-

roe...but what the

heck! (More: what the

hey!!) 



[KP: Key Personnel, Kendrick Perkins]

     "Key Personnel? Kevin?

Paul? Rajon? Ray?" Kendrick

Wonders.*

                 Then Perk's

traded, which trade shall yet

prove one of Boston's big 

blunders. 

     * Garnett, Pierce, Rondo, Allen:
all former Celtics



 [LO: Leigh/Olivier, Laugh Out (Loud) 

      Leigh/O-

livier, Lunt/Fontaine.

Which duo's dropped from the

list... 

        of great 

thespian pairs? Jolie/ 

Pitt? LOL! They’d be 

missed? 



[MN: Machiavellian? Not, Mike Nichols]

     "Mach'a-

vellian, not to say

cynical: 'twas just her 

way..." 

           muses

Mike, as he pegs one-time

partner, the late Elaine 

May. 



[NM: Not Much, Norman Mailer]

     "Not

much!" mutters Norman, when

asked if he liked married 

life. 

        "Good when

naked, but less good when 

dead: much depends on the

wife." 



[OL: Ozymandias: Look, Orlando Lasso]

   Ozy-

mandias: "Look on my

burg, Mr. Big, and des-

pair!"

             (Or Or-

lando: "Give ear to my

music...or not -- I don't

care.") 



[PK: P. Kilbride]


[QJ: Q. Jones]


[RI: R. Ingersoll]


[SH: S. Houston]


[TG: T. Geisel]


[UF:   ]  


[VE: V. Emmanuel]


[WP: W. Demarest]


[XC: Xavier Cugat (again)]


[YB:   ]


[ZA:   ]