Gashly Punn'd Obits or A's Aloysius who sleeps with the fysius.

A’s Aloysius who sleeps with the fysius.
(A's also for Alfie, snuff’d snapping a salfie.) 
B is for Boris who fell from his horris.
(B's also for Bobby: ate tainted kohlrobby.) 

C is for Carla: dispatch’d in her parla.' 
(C's also for Clyde, in a pact suicyde.) 
D is for David, who fail’d to get savid,
(D's also for Dale, brain’d with golf-ball-sized hale.) 

E is for Evelyn: pierc’d by a jevelyn.
(Also Elise, fin'lly resting in pise.) 
F is for Faust, forced to "give up the gaust." 
(F's also for Frank – heard the Fat Lady sank.) 

G is for George who ate poisonous porr'g., 
(G's also for Gidget, whose body turn’d fridget.)
H is for Harry, whose corpse we should barry. 
(H is also for Henry, who perish’d in pen'ry.

I's for Ignatius: that cyst prov’d sebatius.
(I's also for Ida: got bit by a spida.
J is for Jim: surgeons saw'd off his lim.
(J's also for Judas who tried to eludas.) 

K is for Keith who waxed wa-a-ay too obeith.
(K's also for Keyser who suffer’d a seysier.) 
L is for Lance overwhelm’d by red ance, 
(L is also for Linda, who burn’d to a cinda.)

M is for Modred who ask’d, "Is this loadred...?" 
(M’s also for Morris: the levee proved porris.)
N is for Ned: no one knew he was ded.
O is for Oliver: shot (a revoliver). 

P's for Pandora, who hang’d -- oh, the horra! 
Q is for Quinn: too much tonicless ginn. 
R is for Ron who was quarter’d and dron.
S...? For Samantha: felt pills were the antha. 

T is for Tom: bought a gun; bought the fom. 
U ith for Uther who'th alwayth a luther.
V is for Victor: dead! (Obiter dictor)
W…? Wayne who’s most savagely slayne. 

X is for Xavier: jail’d (bad behavier). 
Y is for Yves: dead. (Left no one to gryves.)
Z is for Zeke, yet another turn’d cheke:
whosoever inherits the earth won't be meek.