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Wednesday, September 11, 2024

The 12 'Chair-'s; or, 'Sit' Happens

To chair is human; to forgive, divan. 
                                                    -- GFH 

   Chairless, three Chairokees 
charily squat on their mounds.
ev'ry Aniyunwyan breathes deep 
as the pipe makes its rounds.
   Chairs at Chairnobyl 
stay runaway radioactive;
thus taking one's seat there 
continues, at best, unattractive. 
   Morning-room chairs 
at chez Sonny & Chair are of wicker.
(Rattan, willow...reed...? Bamboo, raffia...? 
Ple-e-e-ease, must we bicker...?)
   "Chairberus...Sit! Sit, boy!" 
demi-god Heracles said.
Then the Greek hero, sniggering, 
smack'd that beast upside the head.
 
   The rock shoal Chairibdis 
sits churning the Strait of Messina  
while Scylla sits opposite, 
howling like Dante's hyena.
   The Chairiff of Nottingham 
sits in his queen chair, adoze,
as Robin sashays in behind him 
and strikes off his nose.
   A Davenport oozes chairisma. 
A Chesterfield, too.
A couch and the sofa, however, 
ooze none. (Sad but true.) 
   Tourists who sit in Chairassic Park 
risk being ate
by this megalosaurid Eustreptospondyle...
or its mate.

   Upon chairs in this chaircuterie 
sits the posh carriage trade
sampling buffalo jerky 
while watching how sausage is made.
   One Chairubim skips today's Nones
flits thru' heaven's three zones.
Like her fellows the Thrones, 
she, for Him, sports a sizeable jones.
   In upstate New Chairsey it sits -- 
Chairsey City by name.
Not as blatant as Hoboken, true; 
yet deserving of fame.
   Meet young Chaired Cushioner 
("Whoopee!" to both of his friends).
May he soon take his seat in Gehenna! 
(My curse my verse ends.) 

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