The Ocelot: An Anagranimal in Five Quats and a Coda

To Cole…? Mr. Porter, this verse is pour vous.

Let Coo…? You are hereby allow’d to bill, too.

El Toco…? A matador famed for his grit.

C’e’t Loo…? “’Tis a bog” – one half Frog, one half Brit.

 

T. E. Cool…? One more Lawrence clone -- this one’s a rapper…

Et Loco…? …and crazy, too – albeit dapper.

Oleo Ct…? The amount of faux butter.

Ol’ Cote…? Ancient ke-keep for bi-birds. (I stutter.)

 

Oct. Leo…? The Lion in Fall, not in Summer.*

“Celt…? Oo-…”…? This stuff’s Gaelic, a wa-a-ay diff’rent drummer.

Toe Loc…? Your pinkie’s location (in brief).

'Lo et Co…? J.Lo’s new corporation’s motif.

     * Leo's dates are 7/23 to 8/22, smack dab in the middle of 

Summer. An October Leo occurs sometime in the Fall. (Nor, of 

course, is he The Lion in Winter.)

 

Col. Eto...? The Japanese Charge D'affaire.

Co-'otel...? A twin inn nextdoor. Aren't they a pair...? 

Le Coot...? Some old bird boasting feathers...or not.

To Cleo...? Hey, Nile Queen! Look what all I've wrought!

CEO Lot…? Bible’s first chief exec.

O’Tolce…? Irish fam’ly -- not Chechen, not Czech.  

Cot Olé…? Cheer for bullfighter, bray’d from your bed.

Ocelot…? Careful! That cat’s not been fed.

     Coda 

This postscript I add as a brief afterthought:

My bolt, anagram-wise, on 'ocelot''s shot! 

Where's Walrus...? V & U

The Walrus and the Valdosaur

Travers’d the Isle of Wight.

Said Valdo, “Gramps hung out near here --

I think I’ve got that right.”

(What Valdo guess’d was manifest

In bones spread ‘round the site.)

The Walrus and the U-spot Wrasse

galumph'd where none before

had dare galumph -- though Barron Drumpf

let slip, "When I was four,

you'd spot us there: a tot (me, Bar-

ron) and his Albacore." 

Where's Walrus...? X & W

The Walrus and the Xanthochroid,

Caught milling ‘bout the Mall,

Explain’d, “Black guys with sky-blue eyes

Are not allow’d to loll.”

(“Indeed, such lads,” the Walrus adds,

“Are thought Neanderthal.”)

The Walrus and the Whip-poor-will

Stroll’d Sarasota's streets.

The Walrus wore his Wellies;

The poor Whip-poor-will wore cleats.

“On lengthy routes,” said she, “no boots:

My instep overheats.”

Where's Walrus:...? Z & Y

The Walrus and the Zebrafish

Removed to Bangladesh

Where they devised, then subsidized,

A small non-profit creche.

“The waifs we house we’ll skin, delouse

And salt, to keep ‘em fresh.”

The Walrus and the Yodeler

Sashay’d the Appenzell.

This Yodeler, though kin to

Alexander Graham Bell,

Refused to own a telephone.

"I yell," said she. “I yell.”

Emily's Lament

"Death the Surveyor Viewing 
the Country Surrounding Amherst"
chemical marker on copy paper
by Ulysses Poe

"Because I could not shop for Death,

He bought Himself a shroud.

Because I could not mop for Death,

He gamer chars allow’d."

"Because I could not bop for Death,

He blew in cooler style.

‘Cuz I could not 'chop-chop' for Death,

He whisper'd, 'Sit awhile.'"

"I could not agitprop for Death,

so He said, 'Stick to facts!'

I could not play the fop for Death,

so stall'd till second acts."

"‘Cuz I’m no Zinken Hopp for Death,

He let her channel me.

One can’t do shit in Amherst, Mass,

alas," pouts Emily.

Numbers of "The...Snark" or For Dodgson: A Deferential Differential Dezett in Doggerel

"Lewis Carol Channing"
from the graphic series
"AmalgaMates"
graphite pencil
on illustration board
by Ulysses Poe

One is the ship, 

one the ting-a-ling bell,

one the map lacking latitude lines:

'tis a sea-chart from hell, 

lacking tropics as well.

"Tried 'n' true," ev'ry crewman opines.

Two are the policies 

bought by the Baker

to augment his dagger-proof coat:

number one's against fire; 

number two's against hail damage.

Boom! Each a Doom Antidote.

Three totes the number 

of times he (the Bellman)

recites some slick saw to the crew:

"What I tell you three times..."  

(what he tells 'em three times -- 

note the rhymes) "...told three times...? 'Tis true."

Four notes the number 

of tongues by the Bellman

employ'd to the Baker chastise:

"I, in Hebrew, Dutch, German

and Greek, have berated you.

Must I throw dust in your eyes...?"

Five tallies marks

of all genuine Snarks:

their ambition, their lateness in rising,

their affection for bathing machines,

their reluctance to jest... 

and a taste quite surprising.

Six pegs the number

of times the refrain

which commences "They sought it with thimbles..."

gets express'd. Each repeat

prompts ambiguous images,

smoke signals, figures and symbols.

Seven's the total

of coats he (the Baker) 

had on as he stepp'd 'board the boat.

At least that's what Dodgson

(the amateur shutterbug Carroll) 

insists that he wrote.

Eight counts the fits

in this Agony. There appear

eight portmanteaus, too, alright...?:

'jubjub,' 'frumious,' 'mimsiest,' 

'uffish,' 'galumphing,' 'out-

grabe,' 'beamish,' 'bandersnatch.' (Quite!)

Nine...(count 'em: nine)...quatrains

fill Fit the Eighth (call'd 

"The Vanishing" by Rev'rend Carroll).

Therein fades the Baker --

post waving his hands --

after wagging his head...at his peril.

Ten are the crew

(each initial'd with B)

who elect on this hunt to embark.

(It remains to point out:

I was never in doubt

that two Snarks did not board Noah's Ark.)

Runcibl'd Spooner: If Hooks Could Kill...

"Amazing Grace," Obama sings. 
His eulogy proves apropos.
A grazing mace: my battle-axe 
delivers Drumpf a glancing blow.

     Moral:
A fitter POTUS shall antidote us.

Uly* Does Jane** Does Lewis***: Last (Probably) in a Series of Alternate Poetastical Takes on Various Poets' Possible, However Improbable, Poetical Takes on "The Hunting of the Snark"

      * Ulysses Poe, author of "What A's Not For" and other books of nonsense

      ** Jane Taylor, English poet and composer of "The Star"

      *** Lewis Carroll, creator of "The...Snark"

Tingle, tingle, 

Bellman's bell.

You of Snarks turn'd 

Boojums tell.

Toll'd three times, what's 

told c'est vrai.

Fie!: the Baker 

dies away.

(Tingle, tingle, 

Bellman's bell.

Blare you "Cats Do 

Carroll"'s knell...?)

Antic Anagranimals: The Elephant

     Friend of the blog GFH kick-started this series, 

but as James Durante famously exasperated, 

"Everybody wants to get into the act!"

‘Leeph ant’ is the Urdu term

for insects who eat plants.

Planet He…? An asteroid

whose denizens wear pants.

     Ph: Ten Ale…? Hydrogen

now carbonates your beer.

T. E. Phalen…? Lawrence of Arabia’s 

late peer.

     “Leap, then!”…? What negotiators cry 

when jumpers bug ‘em.

Neat help…? Sibs agree to clean your room…

or else you’ll slug ‘em.

     The telePhan’s a telephone

in Saigon, Vietnam.

The elephant's an animal

with infinite aplomb.

Uly* Does William**Does Lewis***

     * Ulysses Poe. author of What A's Not For and other books of nonsense 

     ** William Blake, creator of "The Tyger"

     *** Lewis Carroll, composer of "The...Snark"

Boojum...? Boojum was a Snark…?

Snark’s now Boojum…{question mark}

Parts aortal gone awry…?

(Baker’ll find out by and by.)

 

Bellman navs with vacant maps.

(Is that Bellman mad…? Perhaps.)

What does ‘Boojum’ even mean…?

Who might fathom where it's been…?

 

“Sought with thimbles, sought with care.

Threaten’d with a railway-share.

Hunted down with forks and hope.

Charm’d, as well, with smiles and soap.”

 

What does Rev’rend Carroll think…?

Does the Rev’rend take to drink…?

Does to swine Lew cast these pearls…?

Has Lew quit on Liddle girls…?

 

Bellmen, Brokers, Barristers,

Bonnet makers (hims, not hers),

Brokers, Bankers, Boots…plus three.

(Snark does not begin with B.)

 

Boojum...? Boojum was a Snark…?

Snark’s now Boojum…{question mark}

Parts aortal gone astray…?

Hark! The Baker fades away…

Ulysses Does Frank* Does Lewis**: Yes! More...

      * Frank Loesser, composer of " Luck Be a Lady"

     ** Lewis Carroll, creator of "The Hunting of the Snark"

     Verse/refrain 

Snark! You’re a Boojum…? Wham-bam!

No one's more shock’d than I am.

I hunted you with forks and hope,

with smiles and soap and thimbles.

Snark! You’re a Boojum…? Hot damn!

 

     Verse/refrain 

Snark! You’re a Boojum....? Who knew?!

I’ve heard it thrice, so it’s true.

I threaten’d you with railway-shares.

With care – such care! – I sought you.

Snark! You’re a Boojum…? So: nu...?

 

     Bridge 

A Boojum’s taste is crisp and hollow.

It’s late. It’s slow. And (yes! I know)

a Boojum shows a fondness for bathing-machines.

It’s frumious! (Voila! Portmanteau!)

 

     Verse/refrain 

Snark! You’re a Boojum...? How swell!

Bellman! Start tinkling that bell!

I laugh'd with glee when first I heard you.

Then –alas! – I saw you.

"Snark! You’re a Booj…" (Bloody hell!)