Of Methods and Madness: The Ron DeSantis Story

As Ron doubles down on his book-banning spree, 
loads of woke tomes sink beneath his decree. 

Of phonebook bans Ron's now the Sunshine State's pretor: 
"Discomforting names...? 'Harry,' 'Willie,' 'Rod,' ‘Peter’...” 

Prohibiting cookbooks is part of Ron’s schtick: 
“I'll not watch our kids forced to view ‘Spotted Dick’... 

...nor 'Bubble 'n' Squeak'...nope, nor 'Toad in the Hole' --

woke recipes meant for some bibliopole."

Shall art books be spared, Guv'nor...? “No! 'Cuz they're lewd -- 

woke statues of Romans de-figleaf'd. (They're nude.)” 

But what of Picasso...? And what about Titian...?

"Tits 'n' Pick-Assos...? They lead to coition!"

"History books must treat Uncle Sam right:

so CRT's outlaw'd -- lest power wash'd white.

Econ texts tracing a shrinking rupee...?

"Far too suggestive..." (His base would agree.)

Music instruction books: need they be burn'd...?

"Woke G-strings...? Woke F-holes...? That lot must be spurn'd."

Most sports books remain "no problemo" for Ron, 
“...tho' sports betting books I shall keep my eye on...

...as I stand in the way of our kids and each book...

...to become your next POTUS -- by hook and by crook."

(And by , doubtless, more GOP gobbledegook.)

Word Ladder: MANGO > MONGO

Fruit >>>

Mute >>>

Granite...? >>>

Planet

A stone drupe

off Bangladesh

national tree >>>

She hides but

her manga speaks

eloquently >>>

Correction:

this statue is

actually bronze >>>

The planet where

Ming works his

merciless cons

By Any Other Name; or. A Rally is a Rally is a Rally...

Drumpf’s rally names have coalesced 
around the theme of “BlisterFest.” 
 
Drumpf’s MAGA minions really rock’d 
his rally bill’d as “PistuleNacht.” 
(But don't bring home that shameless brain you 
check'd at “Bleb Me Entertain You.”) 
 
Where to score some pure bologna...? 
“Bullshit Running in Pimplona.” 
(Same shit air'd last Saturday 
at “Life’s a Verucabaret.”) 
 
Cheer Drumpf’s lies...and watch a race...? 
“NASCARbuncle”! That’s the place. 
(Where to watch his next arraignment...? 
Trumpotron at “Festertainment.”) 
 
(Drumpf’s poll numbers...? Watch 'em droppin’ -- 
once Drumpf's snuff'd at “Wartz-a-Poppin'”.) 

Word Ladder: MAGA > NAZI

 

 Grifter >>> 

 Gifter >>>

 Scorer >>> 

 Horror

  Should be driven
 from town dipp'd in
 feathers 'n' tar >>>
 Kings (this be
 ione) from the 
 Orient are >>>
 A champion 
 footballer: what's
 not to like...? >>>
 He thought he 
 had topp'd off a
 thousand-year Reich

 

 

Even More Beer Folk Illustrations

 

Pirate Stortebeker 
with large stein...

...and Hugh Sisson 

with Heavy Seas pint

De Profunctus: 16 Isosyllabics Arrayed in Various Meters

To be or 

not to be

Red Ryder, 

Lash LaRue,

Hopalong 

Cassidy,

Tom Mix or 

you-know-who...?

If we two 

 are such stuff

 as daydreams 

 are made on,

 ought we not 

 check dandruff

 and basements 

 for radon...?

 It was The 

 Fest of Rhymes,

 writ 'cuz the 

 Hearsts loved slimes.*

 It was the 

 zest of limes -- 

 bits unre-

 hears'd, oft times.

    *Despite the content of this

      line in certain late mss, there 

      is no evidence that Mr. William 

      Randolph Hearst or anyone in 

      his family involved himself in  

      romantic liaisons with mimes.

      His practice of yellow journalism

      and his publishing of sensationalist

      items lacking truth is, however, 

      widely attested.   

 Drumpf well knew, 

 after all, 

 he'd expel, 

 if he sent

 devotees 

 up the mall,

 foul MAGA-

 niffy* scent.

     * Niffy is a British 

        informal adjective

        meaning ill-smelling, 

        malodorous and stinky.

When you wish 

upon a 

starving Ar-

menian, 

'tis hoped you're 

not gonna

wake up a 

Fenian. 

Aliens 

leaving a

multiple 

star system

might be seen 

grieving, a-

ware that you've 

just miss'd 'em.

I'm all through 

rereading

"The Moon in 

the Millpond,"

nor do I 

mind ceding

of Remus* 

I'm still fond.

     *That's Joel Chandler 

       Harris's fictional uncle.

What kills the 

Donaldsaur...?

Don't tell...? Like 

hell: just ask!

A Chinese 

virus -- or

my past-its-

sell-date mask.

Oh, to be 

in Skokie

now that Ni-

san is there!

(Much less o-

key-dokey

you'd find Ville-

franche-sur-Mer.)

Some surnames 

are so styled

with ages 

to concur.

Witness Ju-

lia Child.

Need more...? Vic-

tor Mature.

It takes much 

more than clams

raked up from 

ocean deeps

to feed His 

freakin' lambs 

as well as 

all His sheeps.

"O, Blesséd 

be all those 

who ride a 

cock-eyed horse

with hand bells 

on their toes."

(A quote of 

unknown source.)

'Toy boats' can-

not be said

ten times: 'twill 

twist the tongue.

'Boy totes,' though, 

can be read,

and 'bow ties' 

can be sung.

Imagin-

ary friend...?
A mitzva, 

heaven knows.
'Twill help you 

to upend 

imagin-

ary foes.

Some say in 

outer space

there's none to 

hear my scream.

That's not the 

only place:

'tis ditto 

in my dream.

 If one should 

 take the cash 

 and let the 

 credit go, 

 should not one 

 dump the stash, 

 lest it be-

 come de trop...?