Size Doesn't Matter

The first, "Biggie" Smalls, to arrive on the scene...?
Just a character shown on a movie-house screen.
The next, Biggy Smallz, is a rapper, a teen
who is kill'd when a turf war he's trapp'd in between. 
The last, Biggie Smalls...? He's a rapper as well,
christen'd Christopher Wallace -- or so we hear tell.

Spelt with 'i-e's or 'y's, punctuated or not,

we've a triad of points orthographical got.

Eggcentric Drumpf

 

The Cabinet Of Dr. Calimari-Lago: AG (Almost) Matt Gaetz

With sundry twisted Epstein 

mates 

o'er ice-thin ethics rules Matt

skates.

Takes pre-pubescent girls on 

"dates"...?

What's next upon Matt's sexist

plates...?

Tweens...? Adolescents...? neo-

nates...? *

"The center cannot hold," holds 

Yeats,

which nearly proved our common

fates:

AG of these United 

States...?

No wa-a-ay "Things fall apart" Matt 

Gaetz,

that wanker MAGA cele-

brates

who hates the same stuff MAGA

hates.

   *No mention's made of 'mastur-

bates.'

Apologia Pro Nuga Sua

I'm neither Shelley nor the Bard. 

Compare me not to Frost or Homer.  

Liken these* to Emily's...? 

Who claims so frames a gross misnomer.

   I'm not Blake or Plath or Sappho,

Emerson or Donne or Keats.

A neo-Blake...? Don't make me laugh! (Oh...

note: nor ape I Maya's feats.)

   My lingua...? Never elevated,

nor by critics highly rated.

Once it's all been said 'n' done,

these doggerels are just for fun.

   (Once it's all been done 'n' said,

they're funny heard, tho' better read.)

   *Fyi: this footnote will shortly list 

the titles of all eleven of Uly's books 

of nonsense verse.

Oh, Hell: I Must Be Going: An Alphabet Of Departure

       In light of recent political events, some Americans have been overheard discussing emigration -- their own -- several reaching decisions and moving those determinations to the top of their respective 'must do' lists. Uly Poe is among them.

                                    "For the snark IS a boojum you see."

                                                                 -- after Lewis Carroll

Anticipate the starting gun...? 

As B*****'s back, it must be done.

I'll Break (or tie) the record for 

the fastest mile (3:44*).

I'll Cut 'n' run. (Please don't give Chase; 

just trust: I must depart this place.) 

I'll Dash a hundred yards -- nay: more. 

Don't track me Down: I'm out the Door.

I'll Exit East (northeast, at least). 

I'll deadhead -- tho' not (yet) deceased. 

You'll Eat my dust. (Apologies: 

here's hoping you'll avoid a sneeze.)

I'll Fly the coop. I'll Flee the scene. 

Nor will I tell Folk where I've been. 

I'll Get me Gone. I'll Go alone. 

I'll disengage from web 'n' phone.

(And, passing 'Go,' I'll Grab that dough:

two hundred smackeroos -- Hi, Ho!) 

I'll Hit the bricks. I'll Hie me Hence. 

(None's done the like -- before or since.)

I'll Imitate ol' Aesop's hare

and Jog (tho' slow) aboard shank's mare.

I'll Kiss all Kith 'n' Kin "So Long!

I'm Leaving." (Please don't get me wrong:

I'll Light out for the territories,

Huckleberry-Like,

nor never Lag. I'll Leg it... 

...that or Learn to ride a bike.

I'm Making haste while shines the sun.

Arrives the rain...? Too late to run.)

I'm Making tracks. I'm Moving on.

Mayhap you'll Miss Me when I'm gone.

I'll Not delay; I'll Navigate

each Ocean, creek 'n' crooked strait.

"I'm Outta here!" you'll hear me shout.

I'm Off 'n' running, have no doubt.

(To put no finer point: I'm Out.)

I'll beat a Path, a Powder take.

I'm Put to flight, for heaven's sake.

I'll Quit, so Quick, these premises.

I'll Run away; the day I'll Seize.

I'll Trek where no one's Trek'd before.

I'll Tread upon a loaf.** What's more,

I'll Up 'n' leave like Barbra S,*

Unable to abide such mess.

Nor shall I Vamp 'til ready. No,

I'm ready now; I'm set to go.

I'll Wend my Way, perhaps head West.

Some spot mark'd X may prove the best.

I'll hug You; then my cap I'll doff:

...three...two...one...Zero: Blasting off!

     *The record for the fastest mile is precisely 3:43.13, set on July 7, 1999 by Hicham El Guarrouj from Morocco.

     **Han Andersen's Inge appears in one of his more bizarre tales.

     ***One of many celebrities pledging to move abroad if Drumpf regains power. Other mss show "E. deG, Unable to remain, you see" here. Future recitations doubtless will insert other names as the list of emigrees continues to swell.

The Cabinet Of Dr. Calimari-Lago: Chief Of Staff Susie Wiles

Her coif -- cinereal -- she 

styles

in pearly pompadours 'n' 

piles.

Behind smug condescending 

smiles

she camouflages fascist 

wiles.

Assuming grins of croco-

diles

while highing five to POTUS 

"Heil!"s,

she foments Orange Jesus'

guiles.

Where are those Oval Office  

files...?

Ask Chief of Staff Ms. Susie

Wiles -- 

tho' prep for absolute de-

ni'ls.

(With staffers signing names like

'Wiles,'

we fast approach the Silly 

Isles.) 

The Cabinet Of Dr. Calimari-Lago: Stephen Miller

   Of 

racially-mixed communities no 

pillar. 

   Of   

migrant toddler's holding pens...? Ful- 

filler.

   Of  

Latin blood 'n' treasure...? Super- 

spiller. 

   Hums 

not the "An die Freude" ode by 

Schiller.

   Of the 

soil of racial hatred Miller's 

tiller.

   Of the 

Constitution he's a hired 

killer:

   one 

nasty white supremacy dis-

tiller...

   (now  

Chief of Staff for Policy) Herr 

Miller!

   (For-

give me if my diatribe grow

shriller:

   no

Drumpf corrupt appointment makes me

iller.)

Be We That We...?

Be we that we of whom it's said, 

"This isn't who we are"...?

Be we that we enraged 

that women's rights have gone too far...?

Be we that we who neighbors hear 

call climate change a hoax...?

Be we that we who're silent re: 

their neighbors' racist jokes...?

Be we that we who turn away

the planet's tired 'n' poor...?

Be we that we who spoke the truth

but don't do any more...?

Be we that we of whom "This isn't 

who we are" be said...?

We be that we. (Brief colloquy:

we'd all be better dead.)

 

Here's another fine mess 

you've gotten me into.

A Visit From Saint Nick Revisited, Stanzas I and II: "The Eve" and "The Stockings"

   I 

  'Twas the 
eve before 

Xmas Eve.
'Round my a-

bode, feelings --

spite, greed, im-

patience -- ran

high...and it

show'd.

 

   II 

   Stockings -- 

dozens -- were 

flung 'round the 

hearth without 

care. (I'd hoped  

Santa would 

leave me wa-a-ay 

more than my 

share.)

Grilled "Che"s: Another Twelve Iconic Cuban Revolutionaries

     Ur-"Che"

     Iconic Cuban Revolutionary 

Ernesto "Che" Guevara 

     Twelve "Che"quivalents 

    Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Hank Williams Tearjerker 

Your "Che"tin' Heart

    Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Way West

The"Che"solm Trail 

    Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Toddlin' Town 

"Che"cago

 

    Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Chewing Gum

"Che"cklits 

 

   Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Non-Renewable Energy Sources 

Shell Oil, Shale Oil and "Che"le Oil (All "Che"vron Products)

   Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Opening Third Of Railroad Line

The At"Che"son, Topeka and the Santa Fe

  

   Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Velvet Fog Holiday Song Opening Lyric 

"Che"stnuts Roasting On An Open Fire... 

 

   Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Foil-Wrapped Chocolates 

Hers"Che"s Kisses 

   Iconic Vuban Revolutionary Beethoven Buddy 

Carl "C(z)he"rny 

   Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Zola Denunciation 

'"Che"ccuse...!' 

   Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Monopoly Game Cards To Acquire

"Che"nce and Community "Che"st

   Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Monopoly Game Card To Avoid

Go To "Che'ail; Go Directly To "Che"ail (Do Not Pass Go, 

Do Not Collect 200 Pesos)