HERE'S A LIPOGRAM WRAPP'D IN A GRAPHIK NOVELETTE EMBODYING
AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE SWADDL'D WITHIN A SELEBRATION OF A
SYMBOLIKAL 69 (THROUGH ITS NUMBER OF KAPTIONS) ARRAY'D
IN AN ALMOST-ALPHABET UNHANK'D AND ROLL'D INTO ONE
YARNBALL OF KOSMOLOGIKAL NONSENSE.
A
THE SO-KALL’D
“BIG BANGORA” KREATES AN EXPANDING
KATSMOS KOMPOSED
OF QUANKITTIES OF SEVERAL ELEMENTS,
INKLUDING KATMIUM,
FELINEIUM AND KALIKOMIUM.
THE SO-KALL’D
“MILKY WHEY” GENERATES A TINY
KLASS K STAR (KNOWN AS KAY STARR) SIRKLED BY AN
UNREMARKABLE PLANET KALL’D SKATURN, IN TURN
SIRKLED
BY ITS SO-KALL’D “MEWNS.”
AN ASTROIDAL
KATASTROPHE EXTINGUISHES EARLY LIFE
FORMS ON
SKATURN, INKLUDING SO-KALL’D “DINAHSHORES.”
KATS’
MULTIPLE LIVES KIKK IN AND THEY SURVIVE.
B
ONE SURVIVOR
IS THE SO-KALL’D “MISSING LYNX,”
LATER RESKUED
FROM UP A BIZARRE-LOOKING TREE BY FAMED
PALEOBIOLOGIST
DOKTOR JULES “LOUIE-LOUIE” DREIPUSS.
THE EARLY
KULTURE OF MESSOPOTABBYA PROVIDES A
HOME TO THE SO-KALL’D
“KATS KRADLE OF KIVETILIZATION.”
EGYPT’S
QUEEN KLEOKATRA EREKTS SEVERAL
SO-KALL’D “PUR-R-R-RAMIDS” WITH
HELP FROM HER
SO-KALL’D “KAT-O’-NINE-TAILS.”
C
A GREEK LITTER
OF SO-KALL’D “NINE MEWSES”
INKLUDES
YOWLER, MISS MITTENS, JAMOKA, KAP’N HOOKS,
JEMIMA.
RUMPUSS AND OTHER IMPRAKTIKAL KATS.
THE PROPHET
MEOWSES REVEALS A PAIR OF SO-KALL’D
“TABBYLETS
OF STONE” HE KLAIMS TO HAVE DISKOVER’D
UNDER AN
INSENDIARY SHRUB ATOP MT. ERRORWRIT.
NATIVES IN
KATHAY INVENT SO-KALL’D “SPAGATTO”
AND “KROQETTES,”
DELIKASIES WHITSH THEY SERVE WITH
“A NISE
KIANTE” (AKTUALLY A NISE KATAWBA).
D
THE KUNTRY
OF KATNIPPON IS DISKOVER’D
BY NATIVES OF
KATHAY EXKURSIONNG NEARBY
IN SO-KALL’D “KATAMARANS.”
THE GODDESS
HEKITTY ORDERS HERE PAL
DAEDALUS TO BUILD THE
SO-KALL’D “TABBYRINTH”
TO IMPRISON AN UNRULY
TIGERWOODTIK.
THE SO KALL’D
“PANTHORA’S LITTERBOX”
OPENS,
PROMPTING SKAREDYKATS TO KATERWAUL,
“WHO LET THE
KATAKLISMS OUT?”
E
THE SAGE
ARISTODDLER KOMPOSES THE LOGIK
TREATISE
“KATAGORIAE.” HS PAL SOKRATEASE INVENTS
AND PAKAGES PLAYDOH,
A TOY MARKETED TO KITS.
THE SLAVE
SPARTAKATZ GETS HIMSELFWELL
AND TRULY KRUSI-FIX’D
ATOP KORINTHIAN KOLUMNS,
THE SO-KALL’D “KAT-HURT
PILLARS.”
THE SAGE
KATULLUS PENS HIS “KARMINA KATULLI.”
HIS PAL KATO
ENTERS A SO-KALL’D “KAT-ON-TONIK STATE.”
F
THE TSHEWISH PROPHET AND SOON-TO-BE
DIVINE BEING JESUS H. KATZ
IS BORN IN A CHEAP
LITTERBOX NEAR BETHLEHEM OF
TSHEWTOYA.
ON THE ROAD
TO DAMASKATS, OSZEALOT
SAWL AKA
PAWL INVENTS NEW RELIGION, THE SO-KALL’D
“KATZIANITY,”
THUS LETTING THE PROVERBIAL
REVEAL'D RELIGION KAT OUT OF
THE BAG.
EARLY
KATZIANS, THE SO-KALL’D “KATZEKUMENS,”
HOWL GREGORIAN
KANT IN SUBURBAN KAVES KALL’D
KATAKOMBS.
G
IN FAR OFF
MEWSO-AMERIKAT, SERPENT DIETY
QUETZALKATL MEWSMORIZES
FOLLOWERS BY DANSING
THE ALLEY
KAT.
ANG-ORAL
EPIK YARNBALL “MEOWULF,” ALONG
WITH MANY
OTHER KAT TALES, ARE FINALLY WRITTEN DOWN.
ENTHUSING
HIGHSKOOL ENGLISH TEATSHERS.
THE ARABIK PROPHET
MOSHORTHAIR INITIATES
MOUSELEM
EMPIRE BY GOING ON HIS NOW FAMOUS
HEJIRATION
AKA THE KATWALK.
H
ROMANX KONSUL
KATSSIODORUS VIEWS
FALL OF
ROMANX EMPIRE, WHICH TUMBLE USHERS IN
THE SO-KALL’D
“DARK KAGES.”
KATZIANS AND
MOUSELEMS WAGE KONTINUAL
WARFARE USING
KANNONS, KATAPULTS AND MUSKITTS
IMPORTED FROM
KATHAY.
FRANKISH KING KAROLUS
(SHOWN WEARING
ASKAT) HAS HIMSELF
KROWN’D THE SO-KALL’D
“HOLY ROMANX EMPURR-R-R-ROR."
I
THOMAS BEKATT,
DROPP’D FROM
KATTERBURY
KATHEDRAL KATAFALQUE, UNWISELY (AND
FATALLY) FAILS
TO LAND ON HIS FEET.
THE TUSKATTY
POET DANTY PUBLISHES
POEM HE
KALLS “PURR-R-R-R-R-R-GATORIO” IN 99
SO-KALL’D
“KATTOS.”
THE EXPLORER
KRISTOFURBALL KOLUMPUSS KLAIMS SO-KALL’D
“MEW WORLD”
(DUBB’D “NEUTER’D WORLD” BY KRUSI-FIX’D
NATIVES) FOR
BELLA, QUEEN OF SPAYIN.’ (SHOWN OBSERV’D BY
MILLENNIAL E.T.S
WHO ARRIVE IN “MEW WORLD”
MILLENNIA
EARLIER.)
J
THE NOTORIOUS
ALLEY KAT KATSANOVA GRIMALKIN
WRITES OF HIS SEXPLOITS
IN HIS BIOGRAPHIKAL TELL-ALL,
THE
SO-KALL’D “TOM KAT.”
SYENTS GUY
GALILEO THE LION SMITH, AT
URGING OF
KATZOLIK POPE, RELUKTANTLY DEKLARES THE SUN
TO BE IN
FAKT “A FLAMING YARN BALL.”
PLAYWRIGHT
W. SHAKESPURR PENS FAMOUS
LINES:
“TABBY OR NOT TABBY, THAT IS THE LASERPOINTER”
AND “ALAS
PUR-R-RR YORIK.”
K
THE GERMANX
PHILOSOPHER IMMANUEL KATT
WRITES HIS SO-KALL’D
“KATEGORIKAL IMPUR-R-RATIVE.”
FEW KATS
KARE.
KING LOUIE
QATTORZE POPULARIZES JEANS JAKKETS
AND SO-KALL’D
“KAT’S PAJAMAS” BEFORE SUKKUMBING
TO RINGWORM IN
VERSAILLES KAT BED.
THE FAMED
KATSTRATTUM FURRANELLI MAMBO,
RIDIKULED BY
MUSIK KRITIKS AS “BUT A KATTERWALLERER,”
GOES OFF HIS
FOOD FOR SEVERAL WEEKS.
L
IN HIS NOVEL
“TAILS OF TWO KITTIES,”
MISTER
DIKKENS PENS FAMOUS LINES, “’TIS A FUR, FUR
BETTER THING
I DO…”
NOTED
KOMPOSER SORBANIK SHOWPANTHER
WOWS HIS
LISTENERS WITH A RENDITION OF “KITTEN
BAKK ON HIS
KEYSTER.”
AUTHOR EDGAR ALLEN PURR PENS “THE PUR-R-R-R-LOIN’D
LITTER” AND “THE KATZES FROM AMONTILLADO.”
M
AUTHOR SUERTE
DUMAS’S FIKTIONAL KARIKTERS
KATHOS,
PURRTHOS AND ARAMOUSE TAKE ON/IN FELLOW
MOUSEKETEER
KATT KALLOWAY.
KLEVERLY
DISGUISED KONFEDERATE ROBT E. LYNX
ORGANIZES VERY FIRST SO-KALL’D “MARSH ON WASHANTUNG,”
BEKOMMING
THAT YEAR’S WWD “MAN OF THE KLOTH.”
PRESIDENT
ABE LYNXOLN KAT SKRATSHES “FOUR SKORE AND
NINE LIVES
AGO…” ON BAKK OF WHISKAS KAT FOOD LABEL,
THUS
KREATING SO-KALL’D “GATTOSBIRG ADDRESS.”
N
PAINTER DEKLAW’D MEOWNET INVENTS PAINT-BY-NUMBERS
KONSEPT WITH
HIS POPULAR “RUIN’D KATHEDRAL.”
JAMES MKNEIL
WHISKER FAMOUSLY KALLS HIS PAINTING
OF ELDERLY FEMALE KAT
“WHISKAS MOUSER.”
LONG-FORGATTON
AKTOR PORTRAYS SO-KALL’D
“SEKOND
TROMBONE” NANKI-POO IN PYWAKKET & TABITHA
OPERETTA
“THE MIGATTO.”
O
THE KANINE KATNIPPER
BEKOMES IKONOGRAPHIK
LOGO FOR VIKTOR REKORDS,
ILLUSTRATING THE PHRASE
“HIS MASTER’S VOISE.” (IRONIKALLY,
KATNIPPER
TOTALLY IGNORES HIS MASTERS
VOISE.)
LUKKILY FOR FUTURE
JAZZ FANS, SKAT SINGER “SKATKSCHMO”
ARMSTRONG SWITSHES
FROM KETTLEDRUM TO KORNET.
PSYKOTIK
FRANZ KAFKA WRITES OF SKITSOPHRENIK FELINE
WHO WAKES ONE
MORNING AS LEOPARDO DE KATTRIO.
P
KOMPOSER
IGOR STRAWINSKY’S ORKESTRAL “RITE OF
SPRINKLE” OPENS
IN PURRIS TO KAT KALLS AND KAT FIGHTS.
SILENT
MEWVIES MAKE STARS OF OTHERWISE UNKNOWN STRAY
KATS RUDY
VALENS, TSHARLIE TSHAPLIN AND W. K. FIELINES.
KOWBOYS
BUTSH KASSIDY AND HIS PAL THE SUNDANSE
KIT ARE ASSASSINATED
IN SOUTH AMERIKAT BY MEXIKAT
FEDERALES
ARMED WITH BADMINTON BIRDIES.
Q
FORMER
KUBISM ARTIST PABLO PIKASSO PORTRAYS
GENERALISSIMO
FRANKO’S ATTAKK ON INNOSENT SIVILIAN
SEVILLIAN
BOVINES AND FELINES.
ROARING
TWENTIES INVENTS DANSE KRAZES LIKE
THE BLAKK
BOTTOM AND REVITALIZES EARLIER KATSH PHRASES
SUTSH AS
“TWENTY-THREE SKIDOO.”
TSHIKAGO
MOBKAT AL KATTONE ARRESTED, TRIED,
KONVIKTED
AND PUT OUT OF THE HOUSE EVERY NIGHT FOR
TSHEETAHING
ON HIS INKOME TAXES.
R
RUDE GERT McSPAYIN’
AND GAL PAL ALISE “BEAT” O’KLASS
KONTINUE TO BEHAVE
INSKRUTABBYLY.
KATOONIST AL
KAPP INVENTS, DRAFTS AND PUR-R-R-FEKTS
THE KARTOON
KAPTION.
KOMMUNIST
MEOW TSAY TONGUE LEADS
FELLOW KATS
ON FAMEOWS SO-KALL’D “LONG KATWALK.”
S
SKOOLKITTIES
LEARN TO READ USING BOOK STARRING
PUFFPOPPA KITTEN. (BOOK ALSO INKLUDES LESS-IMPORTANT
KARAKTERS – INKLUDING
A DOG NAMED SNOOP!)
AMERIKAT
KATS ENJOY WORLD’S GREATEST
STANDARD OF
LIVING – OR SO THEY ARE KONSTANTLY INFORMED
BY AMERIKAT
ADVERTISERS.
MEWVIE
KLASSIK “THE WHISKERS OF OCELOTS” FEATURES
KATAKLYSMIK
SYKLONE.
T
POLITIKAL
KATSH PHRASE “I LIKE IKE” BEKOMES POPULAR.
(SIMILARLY
KONSTRUKTED OHRASE “I LIKE DIKK” DOESN’T
KITTY-SHOW
HOST KATTAIN KANGAROORAT INSTITUTIONALIZED
FOR KIT
ABUSE.
PLAYWRIGHT
SAMUEL BEKKATT’S DRAMATIK
KHARAKTERS
BEKOME EVERYKATS FOR NEW SO-KALL’D
“AGE OF
ANXIEKITTY.”
U
PLAYMATE OF
KOMMIE FIDEL KATSTRO ASSASSINATED
BY SO-KALL’D
RIGHT-WING “FIT-T-T-T SQUAD.”
SYENTS-FIKTION
IKONS KOOK AND SPOOK GO
WHERE NO
FELINES HAVE GONE BEFORE: PLANET PROKTO
IN THE FIDO
GALAXIE.
GREEK NOVELIST
KATZ-IN-SOCKIES PENS
“THE LAST
DISTEMPER TANTRUM OF KRISTO,” BASED ON
THE LIFE OF
THE FAMOUS SWADDLING ARTIST.
V
JOHNNY (“THE
KAT IN BLAKK”) AND TSHEWIN’ KARTER KASH
KONTINUE TO BEHAVE
INSKRUTABBYLY.
BY MEANS OF
A LITTER-DAY DEUS EX MAKKINA,
AKTOR
PLAYING PETER PANTHER IN BROADWAY MUSIKAL OF SAME
NAME APPEARS
TO FLY ON STAGE. (WHEN DEVISE MAL-
FUNKTIONS,
AKTOR FAILS TO LAND ON FEET.)
SO-KALL’D GREATEST
SPORTS FIGIRE OF ALL TIME WILDKAT ALI
BEHAVES
INSKRUTABBYLY.
W
MEWVIES
ABOUT VAMPIRE KATS REGAIN POPULARITY.
NO ONE KNOWS
WHY...OR GIVES A KIT'S KEYSTER.
A PRISON
LIFER, THE SO-KALL’D “KATMAN OF ALKATRAZ,”
KEEPS OODLES
OF FELINES IN HIS SELL, BUILDING HIS
OWN
LITTERBOXES AND WINDING HIS OWN YARNBALLS.
STENTSH SOON
REQUIRES KLOSURE OF ISLAND LOKKUP.
PREDIKTABBYLY,
THE PLANET OF THE KATS
IGNORES
KLIMATE TSHANGE, POPULATION EXPLOSION
AND KOMMON
KIVILITY, ENDING NOT WITH
A BANGORA
BUT A WHISKER.
