/TUR/ de Force

Tura-Lura: Gaelic schtick. Turbulance: it makes me sick.
Terce, sext, nones: three Roman hours. Turds one ought not drop in showers.
Soups get serv’d from brass tureens. Turf wars…? Fought on village greens.
Turgid: pompous, overblown. Turhan Bey: not now well-known.
Tourist traps: no fun to visit. Turjistan: near Turkey, is it…?
Turks (or Caicos): tropic isle. ‘Terlet’’s ‘toilet,’ rural-style.
Term insurance: basic need. Turnabout: fair play, indeed.
Turok hunts for dinosaurs. Turpin’s eyes be cross'd. (Like yours…?)
Turquoise: blue-green gemstone shade. Turret…? Wherein dwells fair maid.
Tersely notes some cosmic clown: “'Tis turtles, all the damn way down.”
‘Turu’’s javanese for ‘sleep.’ Topsy-turvy starts with ‘steep.”
Turwilliger’s on second base. Turx jokes always hurt my face.
Century…? A hundred years. Goodwyn, Powell & Turzo. Cheers!

The Tweedles On Suits

“Play’d ball, The Ass of Di'monds did," droned Dum, as home his homey slid. 
"Play’d golf as well…at local links. We call’d him Ass of Clubs, methinks.
(Play’d soccer, too, a Melbourne side.*)" "Was Ass of Hearts his name…?" Dee cried.
"Nope. Him we dubb’d..." Dum answer’d back "...The Ass of Spades: his butt burn'd black." 

     * Perhaps a reference to the Melbourne City FC, known until recently as Melbourne
Heart. (Gosh! Another Suit.)

Vowel Movements or the Comings & Goings of My Vocables

Today my A’s 
been led away.
My weeping E’s 
turn’d in her keys.
Search low; search high: 
I cannot spy 
my I.

Insists my O, 
“I gotta go.”

“As I must, too,“ 
includes my U.
Each goes “adios,” 
as -- sometimes -- goes 
my Y.

My A – hooray! – 
now’s back to stay.

Re-greet my E 
at early tea.
“I’ll not deny 
our old school tie,“ 
says I.

“I’ve miss’d you so,” 
remarks my O.

Appends my U, 
"I miss'd you, too."
(I need ‘em nigh – 
yes, even -- sometimes -- 
Y.)

Watch Out!

Watch 'ape,' a word, becoming 'bird' -- or 'coach-and-four' – or 'darkroom door.'
Catch 'elm,' a term, becoming 'firm' -- or 'gapers' block' – or 'hearty hock.'

See 'inch,' as gloss, becoming 'joss' -- or 'kinderdijk' – or ‘Lyle likes Ike.’
Mark 'mayonnaise,' though not a phrase, become ‘not nuts' – or ‘oars or butts.'

Observe as 'perm' (a hairstyle term) becomes 'Quran' – or 'race Ron ran.' 
Note 'stuff' (a noun) becoming 'down' -- or 'undersea' -- or 'VIP.'

Attend as 'word' becomes '(e)x-Kurd -- or 'yelp 'n' yell' – or 'Zinfandel.'
(Those language buffs get down ‘n’ dirty. Heads up! Better watch the wordy.)

What Is It?

     (At this rate, perhaps we'll never know.) 

The radio predicted snow. Alas! It had no clue.
“’Twill snow,” it said. What fell instead…? Great piles – small isles! – of snoo.

“What’s snoo…?” ask’d you as snooflakes flew. “A snoo-short world would know.

‘Twould quite the coup ensue if you could sever 'snoo’ from ‘snow.’"

(Do slide shows show how whirlwinds blow the snoo from fro to to…?

No! Snoo’s like shite -- albeit white: ‘tis strewn from out the blue.)

“'Tis ten till two: more snoo be due,” coo'd you. “Before you go,

explain once more we you implore: Distinguish ‘snoo’ from ‘snow’!”

When Trump No Longer Towers

Trump glowers. Trump glowers
for hours ‘n’ hours...'n' hours
as fasces foul Trump scours.
(This lad ain’t Adenauer’s.)

Trump then 'n' now (and how!) errs

in framing Potus powers
with shouts: “Trump never cowers.”
But, fin’lly, Trump’s Tao sours.

We People cry, “Enowers!*

That Hun’s no son of ours!”
Trump quits…then hits the showers.
The GOP's sent flowers...

...when Trump no longer towers.

     * ‘Enowers,’ meaning, roughly,

‘enough, already, fer kryssakes,’ 
is a portmanteau word pairing the 
Rubaiyat’s ‘enow’ with the suffix
‘-ers’ paralleling the derivation of 
Britspeak’s 'preggers' from 
‘pregnant.’

Judy Su-Do-Ku

(Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty.) 

Su-Do-Ku!
Su-Do-Ku!
Pseudo…? No. That’s s-o-o-o untrue!
Su-Do-Ku:
all-new, a coup. (A-hoo! A-hoo-hoo!)
True, people choose to Su...
Nu…? (Few refuse to
Su-Do-Ku.)

Zoot suits Su. 
Sioux Jews Su.
Fu Manchu and Toto, too,
Su-Do-Ku.
Let's Su-Do too (a-hoo), we two (a-hoo-hoo).
Cool dudes enthuse to Su...
forgo a cruise to
Su-Do-Ku.

"So I Su!
So me sue,"
broods Jude. "Who'd be you to 'pooh'…?
So, soak you!
I pursue Su-Do-Ku -- I do (a-hoo-hoo).
All through our zoos gnus 'Su,'
pay beaucoup dues to
Su-Do-Ku."

Su-Do-Ku's
apercus…?
Arithmetic! Eremetic! Whoop-de-doo!
Zut! Doh!! Whew!!!
Let's Su-Do-Ku (a-hoo), let's do (a-hoo-hoo).
Nope, 'taint no news Jude Sus:
any excuse to
Su-Do-Ku.

Su-Do-Ku!
Su-Do-Ku!
Dr. Who Sus, Passepartout Sus, Baby Roo…
Su-Do-Kus
Let's Su-Do too (a-hoo). Who knew (a-hoo-hoo)…?
You got dem blues…? Eschew dem brews! Refuse dat booze!
You gotta
Su-Do-Ku!

Who knew yours true'ld
Su-Do, too!
Alphabetic…? Nope...yet thetic! Su-Do-Ku!
Su-Do-Ku…?
We'll Su a du'! I'm through (a-hoo-hoo).
But, 'fore I overdo,
and croon "adieu!" (T'who…?
Sue D'O'Koo…?)...

     ...I'll cope with
losers' moues,
enduring pseudo-
Su-Do-Kus...

     ...we've nowt but
fear to lose:
just don't abuse our
Su-Do-Kus…

     ...be youse He-
brews or Druze,
just form two queues for
Su-Do-Kus…

     …put on those 
blue suede shoes
and lose those
Charleston Chews…
 
     …peruse those
bloodless coups,
the ooze of
cordon bleus…

     …eschew les
pas de deuxs,
pass through new
peer reviews…

     …taboos and
deja vus...

     …of Su-Do-Kus...

     …ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh!

A Duo on Don eQuivoqie

I.

Gone the days of Honest Abe or

George who cannot tell a lie.
Dishonest Don, who's now our neighbor,
lives -- eQuivoqatin’ Guy! 

Here lies Drumpf. There lies Drumpf.

Ev’ry(frickin’)where lies Drumpf.
“C’est la guerre!” lies. “So unfair!” lies.
“Truth or dare” lies. “That's real hair!” lies.

Floral lies or Loreleis…?

No: more and more immoral lies.
Plus, quite a range of “climate-change-
does-wonders-for-our-coral” lies.

There lies Drumpf. Here lies Drumpf.

Far away and near lies Drumpf.
All we hear...? Lies. Burn-our-ear lies.
Multi-tier lies. (Lied to we’re.) Lies!

Sympathize or analyze…?

No. Made from whole-cloth flannel lies.
And soon, no doubt, he’ll be about
his “fibs-to-Senate-panel” lies.

II. 

Drumpf lies.

Some synthesize. Some stylize.
Drumpf lies.
Some bowdlerize. Some fantasize.
Some bastardize. Some plagiarize.
Some outsize. Some accessorize.
Some upsize. Some hyperbolize.
Drumpf lies.

Drumpf lies.

Drumpf lies with brash audacity.
Drumpf lies.
Drumpf’s fraud’s of vast capacity.
What Drumpf terms perspicacity
the demos deems mendacity.
The truth..? Drumpf lacks veracity.
Drumpf lies.

Drumpf lies.

Drumpf lies about his hands’ small size.
Drumpf lies.
Drumpf global climate change denies.
Drumpf libels ocean level’s rise.
Pinocchio’s with whom Drumpf vies.
“The media’s fake news,” Drumpf cries.
Drumpf lies.

Drumpf lies.

Drumpf hones his Jones for border walls.
Drumpf lies.
For Mexico to pay Drumpf calls.
As GOP’s agenda stalls,
down Drumpf’s approval number falls.
But what’s Drumpf done that most appalls…?
Drumpf lies.

Drumpf lies,

as from the stump Drumpf rolls his eyes.
Drumpf lies
as allies plump for Drumpf’s demise.
On teleprompters Drumpf relies.
Drumpf asks not “Who?”s or “What?”s or “Why?”s.
The Alt-right Drumpf now deifies.
Drumpf lies.

Drumpf lies.

Drumpf tweets, “Mendacity...? NOT! Mirth.”
Drumpf lies.
Drumpf’s lengthy ties can’t guise Drumpf’s girth.
Drumpf’s lies impugn Obama’s birth.
Drumpf’s evidence…? Drumpf cites a dearth.
Drumpf channels William Randolph Hearth.
Drumpf lies.

Drumpf lies.

Drumpf’s fictions come as no surprise.
Drumpf lies
as ‘round on Air Force One Drumpf flies.
Drumpf shuns “consent.” Drumpf ducks “advise.”
Hyperbole Drumpf reifies
Asked “When begin your long goodbyes…?”
Drumpf lies.

Drumpf lies

as Drumpf Obama’s bridges burns.
Drumpf lies
as Drumpf the world’s aversion earns.
Each day we learn Drumpf never learns.
For fib-free facts the public yearns.
And what about Drumpf’s tax returns…?
Drumpf lies.

Drumpf lies.

That skullet Drumpf calls hair Drumpf dies.
Drumpf lies.
Drumpf’s crowd size video belies.
Drumpf’s boys…?
Chew toys for Russian spies.
They say with Russia Drumpf forged ties.
Who’ll prove with Russkys Drumpf allies…?
Drumpf lies.

Drumpf lies.

Untruths are just Drumpf’s stock in trade.
Drumpf lies,
though Drumpf’s tall tales are now so-o-o play’d.
If only Drumpf’s elan would fade.
(How, meanwhile, IS Drumpf’s hair arrayed…?
Is pomade sprayed…? Or Marmalade…?
Drumpf lies.)

Drumpf lies.

Drumpf’s quick to Congressfolk chastise.
Drumpf lies.
Free speech Drumpf plans to crim’nalize.
Drumpf’s moue is much like Captain Bligh’s.
Drumpf’s view of science…? Not Bill Nye’s.
Our freedoms Drumpf will jeopardize.
Drumpf lies.

Drumpf lies.

On white supremacy Drumpf ran.
Drumpf lies.
Drumpf spite…? His Muslim travel ban.
Drumpf’s Cabinet’s white, to a man.
(Well, sev’ral gals, but wan, not tan.)
Drumpf lies, ‘twould seem, because Drumpf can.
Drumpf lies.

Drumpf lies.

Drumpf briefings fails to analyze.
Drumpf lies.
Drump’s double dealings take the prize.
Drumpf cherishes blonde cutie pies.
Drumpf labels ‘em “Drumpf’s Loreleis.”
Drumpf grabs ‘em well above their thighs.
Drumpf lies.

Drumpf lies.

Drumpf’s loathe to learn. Drumpf’s quick to bore.
Drumpf lies.
Drumpf’s failed to grasp what facts are for.
Drumpf’s “fact-alternatives”…? Drumpflore.
“I’ll always tell the truth,” Drumpf swore.
But Drumpf’s a disinforming whore.
Who lies.

Drumpf lies.

Drumpf U’s degrees scant knowledge buys.
Drumpf lies.
With racist bait Drumpf’s base Drumpf plies.
From ver’similitude Drumpf shies.
Drumpf bears false witness to the skies.
We’ve looked into Drumpf’s lyin’ eyes:
Drumpf lies.

Drumpf lies.

Drumpf’s forgeries are to a fault.
Drumpf lies.
The truth…? Drumpf keeps that “in the vault.”
Drumpf fools around with debt default,
brings regulation to a halt.
(Drumpf does abstain from barleymalt…
but lies.)

Drumpf lies.

Drumpf tweets, “Whose fault…? Masala chai’s.”
Drumpf lies.
“Whose fault? Those seven samurais’.”
“Whose fault…? The constant number pi’s.”
“Whose fault…? Diana’s (Princess Di’s).”
Whose fault…? It’s always other guys.’
Drumpf lies.

Drumpf lies.

Drumpf’s family…? Poster kids for greed.
Drumpf lies,
and spreads Drumpf's lies with campaign screed.
Drumpf chants, “Drumpf hits the ground at speed.”
Drumpf rants, “Drumpf’s all you need to heed.”
(Has Drumpf the skill to even read…?)
Drumpf lies.

Drumpf lies.

Drumpf Steaks who but a loser buys…?
Drumpf lies.
The gals who sew Drumpf’s hats are Thais.
A vote for Drumpf’s at best unwise.
Drumpf lets the ship of state capsize
while building Drumpf Hotels...in Schweiz.
Drumpf lies.

Drumpf lies.

America made great again…?
Drumpf lies.
It’s great for weathy old white men.
Our laws be damned: Drumpf owns a pen –
a Drumpf Pen, five will get you ten.
Drumpf claims it’s U.S.-made…but, then,
Drumpf lies.

Drumpf lies.

As Drumpf to Mar-a-Lago hies
Drumpf lies.
It’s not enough to Drumpf despise:
Impeachment calls are on the rise.
(Of course, we hope that Drumpf just dies:
The words we long to see…? “Here Lies…
Drumpf’s Lies.”

One Twofer (aka Sixteen /Two/s)

Will a Tudor from Tours tool a tombstone in Toul...? One twosome from Tucson will not. (Maybe two'll.)

Will a tourist with 'tude tune a tuba in Tours...? One toucan, though toothless, might -- tabl'ing his tour.

Speakin' Greek?

Alpha Bubbe Gramma Delta
Handa Poka Sansa Joka.
Theda Bara Canna Leada
Lambda Slaughta Widda Choka.
Mara Nayda Seida Badga,
Fella: Mayka Playta Sh’warma.
Oprah Weda Protazoa:
Soona Layta Cumda Karma.

Loose translation:

Our head-of-kosher-household grandmother ("Grandma") 
deals us a game of five-card stud without including a joker.

One silent cinema star couldn't successfully direct the least- 

experienced wannabe, even using a decorative necklace.
If you'll marinade a large portion of badger meat, my friend,
you'll be able to prepare one of our favorite grill delicacies.
TV's Winfrey has gone and married a worm of a fellow. Later 
(or sooner…?) such foolishness is sure to catch up with her.

Astor & Others

Lady Astor courts disaster, 
must be truss’d in mustard plaster.
Lady Bird, we’re all assur’d,
thought LBJ’s quaint ways absurd.

Tatty Lady Chatterley!
Her prat’s grown fatter latterly.
Lady Day and Lady Di.
Each led astray by some damn guy.

The Lady Eve was born to thieve.

What’s next…? Mark’d decks shov’d up a sleeve…?
Lady Finger. Next big thing…? Gour-
mets’ faint praise: “Allure can’t linger.”

Lady, Maid of Guadalupe.
Scoop that poop from out the stoup, eh…?
Lady Hester Stanhope, quester.
Muslims essay’d to molester her.

Rages Lady in a Cage –

though flicks of bricolage may age.
Which Lady Jane…? What nine-day reign…?
(Perhaps a footnote would explain.)
Lady killer: civic pillar…?
Hardly! (More a G-spot thriller.)

Lady Luck…? Young Runyon buck,

a Broadway Puck dubb’d Sky (not Huck)
has run amok amongst the ruck
(with whom – with luck – you’ll have no truck).
By love Sky’s struck while he (the schmuck!)
to Cuba’s snuck. In old ways stuck,
Sky’d cold ways shuck. So: “bones” Sky’d chuck.
(Call'd Guys and Dolls, it doesn’t suck.)

Hooray for Lady Mondegreen.

They say she laid ‘em on the green.
Lady N’awlins. Cajun fare
in Richmond. How’d Virginians dare!

Alfred’s Lady of Shalott
enthused pre-Raph’elites – a lot.
Lady Pirates plunder’d merch.
Our Lady Queen of Poland Church.

Which lady, tattoo’d, causes buzz…?

Well…Lady Randolph Churchill does.
Lady Shiva; Lady Terps:
The first poor Batman’s space usurps.

The Lady and the Unicorn:
that tatty tapestry’s well worn.
Lady Violet, a Crawley,
sports support (a cane; a brolly).

Lady Windermere…? Her fan

(and secrets kept) help keep her man.
Lady Xin Zhui (Lady Dai)
lived years ahead of Chou en-lai.

In space they cannot hear her scream…?
Check Meryl’s Lady Yelling meme.
And if you’re feeling laissez-faire,
try Lady Zombie…if you dare.