Poet Poe pens nonsense verse. "Plus...phun," puns Uly, "I disburse." Its gamut runs from spam to worse. The po'sy posted...? Poe's diverse -- most, postcards from his universe, replies to grudges he must nurse. My summary...? Let me be terse: a mitzva, mostly. (Not a curse.)
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| "A Chocolate-Coated Crocodile" by Uly Poe |
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| "A Babysitting Bureaucrat" by Uly Poe |
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| "An Appaloosan Acrobat" by Uly Poe |
Make it four Acting White House Cabinet Secretaries.
Lox to Al. Smoked
salmon on a
bagel, mail'd to
Aloysius.
Ax tool L…? Get
rid of gadget
twelve! Fresh gear for
all militias!
Lot-A-Lox. Brand
new on shelves: ten
pounds of Nova.
(Me...? I love it.)
All too X…? We
don’t know what it
is, but there’s a
shitload of it.
To all, XO. I
close with love and
kisses. P. S.:
best to Don.
Loo talx…? Just the
stuff lads say, fools’
wisecracks crack’d while
in the john.
Lola…? Tox! Don’t
date Dolores –
she of the con-
tagious lips!
Loot LAX! Let’s rob an
airport. (When…? On
one of our next
west-coast trips.)
LX…? O,’ a
lot. In Roma,
sixty-some of
something’s much.
Axolotl…?
Salamander
boasting skin you
love
to touch.
Tax Lolo…? Let O-
bama’s stepdad
shirk his “duty”…?
Ain’t no way!
So
goes a list of
anagrams from
L, T, O, L,
O, X, A.
There was an old deadbeat from Meath
holding on by the skin of his teeth.
Once those teeth shed their skins
(a) he moved on, towards his shins
(b) he dry shaved all his chins
(c) he sought crowns (Sergey Brin’s...?)
(d) he whined, “That won’t score wins!”
(e) he scour’d bargain-book bins
(f) he bark’d, “Yangs…? Nada! Yins!"
(g) he’d wet naps tack'd with pins
(h) he’d yell, “Room...? None at inns!”
(i) he gave gums sev’ral spins
(j) he’d rub lamps, rousing djinns
(k) he plied Anais Nin’s
(l) he bought placque – Howard Zinn’s –
(m) he donn'd dentures -- Ed Wynn’s
(n) he’d sigh, “Fresh out of ins…”
(o) he cried, “Had I but fins…”
(p) he’d pour two double gins
(q) he phoned Anthony Quinn’s
(r) he bought false ones – for grins
(s) he employ'd Rin-tin-tin's
(t) he got gout (for his sins)
(u) he'd rent Loretta Lynn's
(v) he'd indulge in Wheat Thins
(w) he'd instruct, "Damp the dins!"
(x) he'd try your next of kin's
(y) he'd collect sardine tins
(z) he consulted with twins
(y) he exhumed Freddie Prinze
(x) he equipp'd the Ashvins
(w) he book'd passage for Linz
(v) he restrung violins
(u) he remark'd, "Thus begins..."
(t) he'd tan elephant skins
(s) he cheer'd might-have-beens
(r) he'd plant chinquapins
(q) he'd raze walls (Berlin's...?)
(p) he'd ____ Ho Chi Minh's
(o)
then, indeed, died -- said deadbeat from Meath.
Blogger Poe adores self-reference (who doesn't?!) but
wonders: if a text that uses every letter of the alphabet
is called a pangram and if a pangram that uses every
letter except one is called a pangrammatic lipogram,
then what is a pangrammatic lipogram that uses every
letter except two called?*
The Walrus and the Lipogram,
In
DXV** BC,
Were quick to end their self-ref wend.
Goes Wal, “Don't ya’ll agree
We must disperse...?” (He’d suss'd: his verse
Contain'd no J or Z.***)
* Names suggested thus far include 'pangrammatic
bi-pogram,' 'pangrammatic di-pogram' and 'pangrammatic
twi-pogram.' PlaysWell has yet to indicate a preference.
** Read as either "five fifteen" or "dee-ex-vee."
PlaysWell is pleased and proud to recommend either
and/or both.
*** Strictly speaking, of course, the verse does contain
both letters, since the last line, in which they appear,
is a part of the verse. Self-reference can prove slippery.
