The Death of Punctuation (At the Hands of Tweet?)

How many have we lost? Twenty and counting, it's said. Savor them now. Thanks to Jack Dorsey, this may be the last time you'll ever see any. 

1 Ampersands? Their fates are varied: [ ] dwindling [ ] dying [ ] dead & buried.
2 Apostrophe’s done: illit’ratis have won.
3 The asterisk? Dead. It’s like Jack Dorsey* said.
      * CEO of Twitter
4 Say a prayer for the bracket. Good lad. [Couldn’t hack it.]

5 The bullet has abused for years its
·         Mentors
·         minions
·         bosses
·         peers

6 The death of the caret? Mon frere cannot bear it.

                                                   ^

                                     He’s my bro from below.
7 Bid adieu to cedillas: “Leçons pour gorillas.” *

     * Says my bro (whom I love). He’s that bloke just above.

8 Retired is the colon: more time to go bowlin.’
9 As for daggers (single, double)? Dead as dormice dipp'd in honey †
     Or some Raphi cucullati ‡ -- or the freakin’ Easter Bunny.

     † A delicacy served at ancient Roman banquets      ‡ Extinct dodos  

10 Life sans the comma? No comma, no drama.
11 Dashes? Dead -- em and en -- just a matter of when.
12 The mark of exclamation’s gone, eradicated. Let’s move on!
13 To all misters who’ll miss their ellipses: Boo…! Hiss-s-s-ss…!
14 The full stop is gone. It’s hung, quarter'd and drawn.
15 Leave it to the hyphen to insert its two-edged knife in.
16 What’s next for parentheses? Epitaphs. (RIPs).
17 The pilcrow’s under stress… ¶ But now I must digress…
18 Quotes which are “curly”? Well past their prime, surely?

19 “The ditto,” they said.
“  “     “   , he dead!”
        * Like Conrad’s Mr. Kurtz, presumably.
20 Diaereses: just on leave? Ple-e-e-e-ease: do not be so naïve.

(Sadly, to be continued)