Supple Mary: a Bananagram

Supple Mary! 

Supple Mary favors early pumps,

which shoes express key suppleness 

when dating pearly umps.

Supple Mary! 

Supple Mary lofts a lumpy spare

which flat fifth wheel destroys my peel’d banana…

plus my pear.

Supple Mary! 

Supple Mary’s maple syrup jams

she pours from tuns all over buns, 

cream tarts and purple yams.

Supple Mary ask'd a puma, 

“Why do critters die…?”

“Blame Pupy’s Realm, papyrus, elm,“ 

came puma’s (weird!) reply.

Take A Haiku

I lean to my left,
allign’d beneath the moonshine.
Next, nothing happens

Suns sit in blue trees.
I take a step. Another.
After that, it's dark.

And all through the house
it's the night before Christmas.
So...where's Mrs. Claus…?

Adrian Boyer
and Sebastian Boyer, too:
Both boys my grandsons.

Arma virumque:
If at first you don't succeed,
let my people go!

The Russians are coming!
Frankly, my dear, I don't give!
(Russians...? Still coming!)

Be-bop-a-lu-la!
Mares eat oats and does eat oats.
She's your baby now.

To be or not to be...?
Requiescat in pace!
Midsummer Knight's Dream.

When I fall in love,
it's the Japanese sandman.
Oh, Jane: See Dick run!

Edgar Allen Poe;
Flopsie, Mopsie, Cottontail;
Andre the Giant.

Mexico City.
Robert Louis Stevenson:
The bird was a word.

Waiting for Godot:
The few. The proud. The Marines.
Yabba-dabba-doo!

George W. Bush:
No runs, no hits. (No errors...?)
Going...going...gone.

Takes

Take It In Reverse!

Z, Y, X and W...
V, U, T and S, R, Q...
P, O, N plus M and L...
K, J, I, H (as in 'Hell')...
G, F, E, D, C, B, A.  
ABC, but backwards, eh…?  
(Demonstrate some flair, some flex
when next you read your ZYX!)

Take It From the Center!

M, N, L and O, K, P...
J, Q, I, R, H, S, G...
T, F, U and E, V, D...
W and C, X, B...
Y, A, Z. Some Linear B...?
Nope! Just a spiral’d ABC. 

Your Take It From Here!

C, B, A and E, D, J…
P, G, H and T, V, K…
M, N, I and S, X, Q…
F, K, Y and R, O, U…
Z, of course, and W:

___________________.
(What goes here…? One line from you.)

Take It Straight! Then Take It Snak’d!

Straight stroked: A, E, F, H, T...
straight, as well: K, L, V, Z...
straight, too: M, N, X, and I...
W’s straight. And ikewise Y. 
The rest -- B, C, D, G and U... 
plus J, O, P and R, S, Q -- 
contain one curvy stroke (at least). 
(With that, this ABC I've ceased.) 

Take My Order!

First: A, E, I, O, U 
(and sometimes Y): 
each one's a vowel -- on 
that you can rely. 
And all the rest -- B, C, 
D, F and G...
plus H, J, K, L, M...? 
Plus N and P... 
and Q, R, S, T, V 
plus X and Z... 
(plus W, the one 
anomaly)…? 
They're consonants. So: now 
your ABC
you know, from vow'ls through con-
sonants. Agree...? 

Runcibl'd Spooner (Lore & Legend Edition)

     I.
Native princess Pocahontas. 
John Rolfe loved her. (So did Disney.)
Drumpf derides and mocks this woman. 
(Lay’n’ a Hoax Upon Us…isn’ he…?)
     Moral: 
The House of Repre-
sentatives
is right now pondering,
"What gives!?"

     II.
Pecos Bill, ol’ cowpokes say,
broke buckin’ broncs -- tye-yippee-yay! --
while Blake O’Spill gets thrown from bulls
at Lone Star cow-town tractor pulls.
     Moral:
No matter if your nonsense 
be galactic or sublunar,
do not let Herr U'dish'ion 
run away with Rev’d 'Spoon'er!

      III. 
Bunyan...? Giant North Woods lumberjack
who ‘Paul’ was christen’d.
Pun-Yan, nicknamed “Bawl”…? Brash Sino-punster.
(No one listen’d).
     Moral:
Pilgrim’s Progress…
Giant’s Onions...
Wait! Beware 
conflated Bunyans!

     IV.

Casey Jones...? A locomotive driver. 
Crushed! (Too graphic...?)
So: who sets out those orange thingies...? 
J. C. Cones, from Traffic.
     Moral: 
Stay 'tween the cones! 
Stay on the tracks!
'Twill spare you falling 
through the cracks.

     V. 
Hopalong Cassidy: cowpoke on 
horse.
The cop along has a D...? A police officer -- the one 
accompanying me in my squad car -- displays his 
performance report card, noting -- a bit too gleefully, 
if you ask me -- how he narrowly avoided receiving 
a failing grade in this quarter's racial sensitivity
course.
     Moral:
Some Spoonerisms
call for more
than rhyming couplets --
that's for shore. 

     VI. 
Elvis Presley (RIP): 
polemicist in denim tights.
Pelvis S. (like Robert E.): 
supremacist re southern whites. 
     Moral:
To diff'rent drummers do your dance --
nor never do Ulysses Grant's. 

    VII.

Preston Sturges hollers, “Roll!”
Ten thousand ducks (or so ‘twere bill’d),
don hats. Then down they Sunset stroll.
(That screwball’s Stetson Purchase kill’d.)
     Moral:
To win an Oscar now and then
may well depend on gallons ten.

Next up: 

Davy Crockett & K-V'd Rocket 
Watson's Jim & Jots 'n' Whim 
Natty Bumppo & Batty Numppo 
Ichabod Crane & Kick a Bad Reign 
Sweeney Todd & Teenie's Wad 
Rip Van Winkle & Whip Fan Rinkle
Joe Magarac & Moe Jagger...ack!
Old Black Joe & Bold Jack Hoe
Br'er Rabbit & Rare Babbit
Hiawatha & Why A Hatha?
Sam Bass & Ba'am's Ass
Finn Mac Cool & Kin McFool
 

Teas: a Demi-tasse (A thru M)

     Breathe 
scant more cheerful, few'r as quick, 
none readier than me: 
     I eat fast 
food (who'd not ♥ Happy Meals!). 
I sip Alakra Tea.

     Art's 
Sandwich Shoppe...? I'd best not stop: 
no breakfast break for me. 
     Just 
shortcakes -- two -- wash'd down with 
demi-tasse of Brevah Tea.

     Ma's 
off her nut. Don't scoff: we but 
agree to disagree. 
     There is no 
reason why we two can't try 
lukewarm Çevilla Tea.

     The 
bitch what's in my kitchenette 
(a banjo on her knee): 
     she lip-syncs 
"Dinah," scarfing Dinah's s'mores* 
and downing Dinah's Tea.
     * Some mss show 'dinosaurs'; some, 
'Dinah's sores.' (One 'Dinah Shores.') Does 
each reveal a different but no less true 
nonsensiosity...? Of course, of course.

     Trade 
unions fought. 'Twas dearly bought, 
the tea-break...and the pee-. 
     ‘Taint 
wrong to ask, "How long a task 
to steep Etournah Tea...?"

     Steel'd 
rush-week frats wield cricket bats 
with such sadistic glee, 
     then ask which 
brother dumps how many lumps 
in whose Fra Turna Tea...?

     "Do 
bowels not move...? Brew Grahva, love," 
growls Arthur G to me. 
     Its 
pow'r's for real. Just drink: you'll feel 
the force of Grahva Tea.

     The 
joke about the priest, the rabbi 
and the manatee 
     is printed 
on each bag -- to view each time 
you brew  "Heil, Herr!” A Tea.

     Half-
lives of crime, from time to time, 
may've led to Reading G.* 
     What 
lands Brit pricks -- bang! -- in their nicks...? 
The kick...in Iqua Tea. 
     Be 
Jon** some modish son of god, 
some neo-deity...? 
     His drinkin's 
pass'd the stinkin' stage: 
wa-a-a-a-ay too much Jove E. Allah Tea.
     * Reading Gaol, the period Brit nick.
     ** Jon Bon Jove E Allah, perhaps...?

     Doin' 
martial sports of sundry sorts, 
I soak my judo gi – 
     when 
hot, with puce ju-jitsu juice; 
when not, with Karr (hot!) Tea.
     'Tweren't 
no black buyers, 'cepting Myers,* 
in that CDP.** 
     The 
Levitt shack...? She took it black: 
both town and Levitt Tea.
     * Daisy Myers, hailed as "The Rosa Parks of the 
North," in 1957 became Levittown, PA's first African-
American family when she and her husband purchased 
a home not from Levitt & Sons, who refused to 
sell to African Americans, but from a European-
American family who already owned a home there. 
     ** Census-designated place -- Levittown is 
one such.

     Thom's 
Magic Mount's no tragic fount -- 
unless Hans Castorp's spree 
     does 
symbolize the reckless rise 
of Herr Männ's Straße Tea.

Naughty

Oddity

Paucity

Quality

Reality

Serendipity

Trinity

University

Velocity

Warrantee

eXentricity

Yazoo City 

Zesty 

A Tattle of Ts: Mr. Wishfulthink's Tell-All in re a Trump Abdication

Tintin tells Tutu...Tutu tells Tonto. 
Tonto tells Tito (I’m tellin’ the trut’).
Tito tells Toto...Toto tells Totie. 
Totie tells Tolstoy – who tells Little Toot.

Tintoretto tells Tootsie who tells Tiny Tim 
who tells Tommie 'n' Tuppence who’re tellin' Tartuffe.
Tartuffe's tellin' Tristram who tells Ratatouille 
who tells Tina Turner (for this tale, thin proof).

Ted Turner tells Titus who tells Tia Tabitha. 
Who tells Tess Trueheart…? 'Tis Toni Tennile --
tantamount to catastrophe, Tim Tyler thinks: 
"How shall Tubby the Tuba and Tommy Tune feel...?"

Tut tells the Titans...Tik-Tok tells Tantalus. 
Telling the Toltec...? 'Tis Tristan the Pict,
who is tellin' Tom Tolbert who’s tellin' a tsetse 
who – three times! – tells Trump. (Who then tells us, “I’m licked!”)

That'll Be the Day

'Twill dawn, and soon, 
a day whose noon -- 'tis true! --
sees Athlone Wood 
advance on Yeat's Coole;*
when I, beknownst to few, 
shall bid "Adoo!" -- 
when combs un-tissu'd 
out-zizz my kazoo
and when that dome at Gol Gumbaz** 
shan't do. 
     * In an Irish send-up of the Scottish play 
     ** The mausoleum of Mohammad Adil Shah 
and not to be confused with Golgotha (the Skull)

When Ethan Frome 
abandons red for blue;*
when froths of foam fail -- fie! -- 
to frappe my brew;**
when genome maps may 
make a meme of you,
and home no longer 
lures the Wand'ring Jew...
...when we In Rome 
shall do as Romans do. 
     * The Wharton novel is rife with red items, 
each toting its symbolic load.
     ** "Just a finger of froth as I finish a few," 
whistles the Sarge -- that's Sgt. N. ("Jim") 
Smithe-Magee (the N stands for 'Nonsense') 
from out of this blizzard of f-initialed words.

Yeah, that'll be the day --
you bet your boo! --
Jerome Jerome shall drift downstream 
with two;*
and when 'ein Kaum' to Klauses** 
means "ka-choo!"
When loam's allow'd 
in Chef Pepin's fondue
and mome Red Pandas 
shall outgribe in lieu.***
     * Jerome K. Jerome's best known novel r
emains Three Men in a Boat. 
     ** A colloquialism for Germans in 
Portuguese-speaking countries 
     *** In lieu, i.e., of the mome raths which 
nonsense lovers may have come to expect.

One day when Nome 
shall top a 102*
while "Om...!" alone's 
a way to say "Mon Dieu!"
When po'ms like this 
aren't drafted in the loo
and 'quo'm' stands not for 
'quorum' but for 'Whe-e-ew!'...
...and roamin' 'round the world-wide web's 
all through...** 
     * To date the high temp record in Nome 
is '68's 86 (or was that the other way around); 
but, hey: the climate's changing, isn’t it...? 
     ** Such might well prove disasterous for 
Sarge's poetry.

...'n' Soames takes trips 
and tries a toke or two.*
When tomes place terms like 
'uome' 'n' 'vome' on view --
when 'waume,' 'xome,' 'yeaum' 'n' 'zhome' 
appear per u.**:
yep, that'll be the day, alright, 
when you --
with me, in Rome -- 
shall do as Romans do. 
     * This particular Forsyte, of Saga fame, 
stands as a literary paragon of respectability. 
     ** As per usual, as a matter of course, 
in the common run of things, and so forth...

The A Word & Other Lexemes or Verboten Verbiage Varia

'April' and 'buck' 

One utters the A word
as one’s mates move Mayward.
Admired…? Nope! I fear it's
enmired. (Too much March.)
The B word Tru* hollers –
to guarantee dollars
pols pass stop, at las,' 
on his desk -- shows tru' starch. 
     * Not author Capote but former
Buck-Stopper-in-Chief Harry S.

'Cuckold’ and 'drunkard'

The C word gets mention'd
by nerds ill-intention'd,
the gals of whose pals 
toy with boys on the side.
The D words…? They're said 
when too much liquid bread
lets one's bro into 
haut dipsomania slide.

'Enema' and 'fart' 

The E word shoots shivvers 
up colons, down livers,
for rectal dysfunction's
no man's mug o' tea.
Though not what you think 'er, 
the F word's a stinker
when gas up the ass 
is one's fate -- accompli.

'Green' and 'halitosis'   

The G word, though being 
the new blue to many,
is bann’d in all red states.
(Do you vote in any...?) 
The H word...? They say 
he said she said I've got it.
(I say: Vescere bracis meis*...
or: sod it!)
      * Latin -- and vulgar Latin 
at that – for "Eat my shorts!"

'Injun' and 'jap'

A Native American insult –
the I word.
Down under, it's 'abo' –
though such'd not be my word.
The J word,
in Double-U-Double-U-2,
seem'd acceptable then.
(Oh! The evil men do!)

'Kike' and 'lesbo' 

Down the last ring of hell 
one imagines Herr Ado'ph
pronouncin' the K word...
then laughin' his haid off.
Misogynist man-children
whisper the L word...
then snort...and continue 
itiner'ries hellward.

'More' and 'nothing'

The M word gets mention'd
by Dickens's Twist
(all who do do get more...*
though with slaps on the wrist),
while the N word,*
to die-hard creationists...? Weird!
They insist this world's made 
by some blade in a beard.
     * Oliver famously asks for 
"more, please" as gruel is
served out. 

'O-rings' and 'panties' 

It took Richard* to bring up
the O word; he show'd
how, because the things froze,
NASA's Challenger blow'd.
The P word...? On Seinfeld
this shorthand for 'scanties'
proves mentionable. 
(Elaine mentions the _______!)
     * Physicist Feinman

'Quik' and 'dead' 'red' 

Don't mention the Q word
when visiting Hershey:*
they'll soak you in sauce
till you're "beggin' for mershey."
You're suspected of being the R word...?
McCarthy
will ruin your life –
till you're "beggin' for marthy.”
     * In Pennsylvania

'Shit' and 'tit' 

Swung the hammer...and miss'd. 
Hit the thumb: "Ow!" Got piss'd.
Form'd: the agonized fist. 
Now the S word gets hiss'd.
The T word means 'breast,' 
like most mammary monikers:
'chesticles,' 'sweater meat,' 
'hooters,' 'boobs,' 'honkers'... 

'Ubu' and 'vagina' 

'Tis OK if one mentions 
the U word in Art.
Oh, if only we'd see it,*
and take it to heart.
There were days when the V word 
was strictly forbidden.
Then enter'd Eve Ensler. 
Now, nothing stays hidden.
     * E.g., "Ubu Roi," the theater-of-
the-absurd piece by Alfred Jarry.

'Why' and 'XXX')

The W word: that it's 
banned is half lie:
it's both outlawed and urged -- 
do (or don't) question "why...?" 
The X word's avoided 
when dupl'd and tripl'd
in ratings of films -- 
those well penis'd and nippl'd.

'Yoni' and 'zoff' 

The Y word...? In Sanskrit, 
it's eas'ly avoided:
Max Wertheimer didn't, 
but Maslow and Freud did.
Comes, lastly, the Z word; 
suppressed! (Although utter'd
by me,* who well knows 
on which side bosh bread's buttered). 
     * That's why the Z word gets 
mentioned a dozen times in the 
nonsense verse parody "Let's Call 
the Whole Thing 'Zoff'!" which
can be seen elsewhere on this blog.

An ABC...But Whose...?

B, C, D…? Like 'ea' in "freak."
H 'n' A…? Like 'ai' in "Spain."
E, G, P…? Like 'ee' in "geek."
J 'n' K …? Like 'ei' in "reign."

T, V, Z…? Like 'ea' in "speaks."
L, F, N…? Like 'e' in "hex."
I 'n' Y…? Like 'i' in "yikes!"
M, X, S…? Like 'e' in "sex." 

O…? Like 'o' in "overblown."
U 'n' Q…? Like 'ue' in "blue."
R…? Not unlike 'ar' in "fart."
W…? Like "trouble, nu…?” --
tho', why three syllables…? Mon dieu!
I simply have no clue. Do you…?

The Boorrownym: a New Poetic Form

A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou:
on sofa bed we snuggle, kleine frau.
Shall purse of silk we make from ear of sow...? 

Come, fill the cup, and in the fire of spring...
(Don't spill! Heads up, you pinhead: wire and string
won't help! First, set aside your teething ring!)

The Cheese Stands Alone (But Not Before Spilling the Beans)

Gautama the Buddha tells Pablo Neruda.
Neruda's narration clues Hebrews in Judah.
Judeans leave word with one very old Gouda.
The Gouda confesses to you.

The Mother of Jesus has words with a rhesus.
The rhesus reports to that chap who makes cheeses.
(What doesn't asphyxiate finally frees us.)
The cheeses reveal it to you. 

The Devil's boy Lucius advises Confucius.
Confucius makes mention to Lyndon LaRouche. (Is
it true that "LaRou," in a sequence of swooshes,
tells you…? Nope: it's roux who tells you!